Why We Struggle to Celebrate Others

Many of us often struggle to genuinely celebrate the success of others, even when those successes come from hard work, perseverance, and personal sacrifice. Whether it's seeing someone build a home, achieve career milestones, or witness their children excel academically, a sense of discomfort or even envy can cloud what should be moments of joy. The question is: why do we, as humans, find it difficult to feel truly happy for someone else's growth?

We all want to believe that we are supportive, that we have the best intentions for those around us. Yet, many times, when a friend, family member, or colleague achieves something significant, a wave of negative emotions like envy, resentment, or insecurity takes over. We may put on a smile, and offer congratulations, but deep inside, there’s a flicker of discomfort—a reminder that their success might highlight areas in our own lives where we feel we’ve fallen short.

This pattern is deeply rooted in comparison. From childhood, many of us have been conditioned to measure our worth against others. Someone else’s gain feels like our loss, and their progress reflects our own stagnation. But that mindset leads only to negativity, gossip, and disconnection from the very people we should uplift.

What makes this even more troubling is that many of us consider ourselves spiritually inclined, mindful of our personal growth, and connected to a higher purpose. Yet, when someone in our circle achieves something great, we struggle to align our mindset with these ideals. The truth is, envy and resentment are easier emotions to fall back on than genuine joy for someone else's success.

The real question we need to ask ourselves is: why can’t we celebrate others as we would want them to celebrate us? What prevents us from lifting others as they grow, knowing that their growth does not diminish ours?

It’s uncomfortable to admit, but many of us will resonate with this. We’ve all, at some point, found ourselves engaging in conversations that criticize someone who has worked their way up. Instead of appreciating their journey, we deflect by highlighting their flaws or minimizing their achievements. Why? Perhaps because seeing them succeed forces us to confront our own insecurities, our own perceived inadequacies.

But there’s a different path we can choose. One where we recognize that the success of others does not diminish us, but rather can inspire us. A world where we wholeheartedly celebrate every milestone—whether it’s a friend’s child getting into a top university, a colleague getting a promotion, or a neighbour building a beautiful home. We can choose to lift each other up, to learn from each other's victories, and remember that another’s success is not our failure.

When we shift our mindset from comparison to collaboration, we not only free ourselves from negative emotions, but we also create a community where everyone thrives together. So next time someone close to you achieves something great, check in with yourself. Ask if your emotions align with the person you want to be. Celebrate them. Uplift them. After all, there’s more than enough room for all of us to succeed.