Why Are We Stingy with Compliments?
Meredith Bell
Strengthen the character and communication skills of every leader in your organization ? Host of Grow Strong Leaders Podcast, ranked in Top 2.5% of all podcasts globally
In the course of a typical day, we encounter a lot of people – at home, at work, and everywhere in between. We have many opportunities to compliment, thank, or praise someone during those moments, yet we often don’t.
We could say things like:
“Thanks for the detailed attention you gave to completing that report. You covered all the bases really well.”
“I appreciate your being on time since we have a lot of material to cover.”
“That was a fantastic dinner. Thank you for the time you spent fixing it. I enjoyed every bite!”
“I appreciate how efficient you were in scanning all my grocery items and bagging them so quickly.”
"Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it." - William Arthur Ward, American motivational writer
Ever thought about why we withhold positive words when it would cost us nothing to give them?
I have. Here are some of my conclusions.
#1. We get busy.
We move fast, and we don’t take time to notice, much less comment on the good someone else has done or the value they’ve added to our lives.
#2. We’re preoccupied with ourselves.
Most people think about themselves most of the time. Even with those we profess to hold dear, we’re usually reflecting on our own problems, plans, and priorities.
Both instances can be corrected by simply slowing down and focusing our attention outside ourselves so we can observe more. Then it’s easy to find opportunities to give positive feedback.
The last one is trickier because it’s a reflection of our self-esteem.
At times, we consciously withhold praise because we think we’ll appear inferior in some way if we pay someone else a compliment. We have a twisted view that somehow, saying positive words to another takes away from our own self-worth.
But the reality is that the opposite is true.
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The more you make sincere, positive statements to others, the BETTER you’ll feel about yourself. Your own life is enriched when you are generous with compliments, provided they are heartfelt. The simple act of expressing gratitude and appreciation adds to your happiness.
"When someone does something well, applaud! You will make two people happy." - Samuel Goldwyn, American film producer
So don’t wait. Start today to find something positive to say to every person you interact with. You’ll make your world a better place by enriching the lives of the people in it.
Learn More
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This unique, self-paced program strengthens 36 character skills and 10 high-impact communication skills that every leader needs to be effective.
Watch this 2-minute video, “Power Tips for Positive Feedback.” It gives 3 specific suggestions for expressing appreciation to others. Contact me to find out how you can use GSL SkillBuilder in your leadership development programs.
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About Meredith
Meredith Bell is co-founder and president of Grow Strong Leaders . Her company publishes assessment and development tools that help people build strong relationships at work and at home. Meredith is the author of three books, and the host of the Grow Strong Leaders Podcast .
You can get details about Meredith’s books, products, and podcast at GrowStrongLeaders.com .
Professional Development Facilitator | Promoting high performance and wellbeing in the workplace | Helping leaders build Emotional Intelligence and communication skills
2 个月Meredith Bell thank you for this reminder! You're right, our self-preoccupation is massive yet totally surmountable barrier to connection. Generous an authentic compliments are like a warm hug.
Employee Well-being Consultant ?? Delivering results = 30+% reduction in workplace stress & anxiety, 81% more engagement & up to 200% ROI
2 个月Meredith, you're absolutely right about the power of praise. In my work with employee well-being, I've seen firsthand how recognition can transform a workplace. It's about creating a culture where gratitude is the norm, not the exception. Let's all commit to being more vocal with our appreciation! ??
Helping Business Leaders Stop Wasting Time Dealing with Workplace Conflict and Build High-Performing, Collaborative Teams.
2 个月You're so right Meredith Bell. It only takes a minute but can go such a long way.
I'm a coach for creative souls who crave more. Executive Coach / ECD / Writer / Podcast Host / Discount Will Arnett Voiceover Stand-in
2 个月Love this topic, Meredith! I know for me, this sentence rang true when I was younger: "At times, we consciously withhold praise because we think we’ll appear inferior in some way if we pay someone else a compliment." Over time, I've seen and felt that joy that comes with delivering a sincere compliment. It lifts everyone up.
Helping people become powerful communicators at work and at home. Author, Speaker at DrDennyCoates.com
2 个月Always lead constructive feedback with appreciation.