Why Are We Still Hesitant to Negotiate? Addressing the Unspoken Hurdles for Women in Salary Discussions

Salary negotiation is an essential career skill, but it’s one that many women find challenging, especially here in the UAE. As a senior recruiter working in this region, I have seen how women approach salary discussions differently from men. Some feel hesitant to negotiate, while others simply don’t know where to begin. This reluctance isn’t just about pay; it reflects deeper issues of confidence, self-worth, and navigating cultural expectations.

Early in my career, I also struggled with the idea of negotiating a higher salary. Despite my skills and achievements, I worried that asking for more would make me seem “difficult” or “pushy.” Over time, I realized this hesitation is common for women—and I now see it often in my work. Many talented women feel they need to “earn” the right to negotiate, while men are more likely to enter conversations expecting to be valued. Overcoming this mindset was a key turning point for me, and it’s often the first step toward effective salary negotiation for many women today.

One of the biggest challenges women face in salary negotiations is the confidence gap. This isn’t a lack of skill or ability but a hesitation to assert their worth. Research shows that men are generally more comfortable negotiating for higher pay, while women tend to avoid these discussions entirely. This reluctance can come from societal expectations: while men are encouraged to be assertive, women are often expected to be agreeable and avoid “rocking the boat.”

In the UAE, this confidence gap can be further amplified by cultural norms. Here, workplaces are a mix of cultural values, some of which discourage open discussions about money. This cultural blend can make salary negotiation feel even more daunting for women, especially if they are unsure how their request will be perceived.

Avoiding Common Negotiation Pitfalls

Here are some common mistakes I have seen women make in salary discussions, often without realizing it. Avoiding these can make all the difference:

1. Framing Requests Around Personal Needs: Many women, in an effort to appear reasonable, make their salary requests based on personal needs. Phrasing like, “I need more because of my expenses” makes it a personal issue rather than one of professional value. Instead, focus on your contributions and how you add value to the company.
2. Starting Too Low: Women often underestimate their market worth, particularly if they are new to the UAE or to their industry. Starting with a low figure sets a baseline that could lead to offers below your real value. Research your role, compare salaries in your field here in the UAE, and set a minimum amount you’re comfortable with before going into negotiations.
3. Backing Down Too Quickly: To avoid conflict, many women accept a lower offer without even countering. Remember, negotiation is a two-way conversation. If the initial offer doesn’t align with your research and expectations, don’t hesitate to counter with a well-prepared range.

Practical Strategies for Successful Negotiation

Now, let’s look at some actionable strategies for approaching salary negotiations with confidence:

• Start Strong with Data: Begin the conversation armed with facts and figures. Research average salaries in your industry and the UAE market, and make a note of your accomplishments. For instance, you might say, “Based on my skills, experience, and the industry standard here in the UAE, I’m seeking AED X.” This approach helps you stay factual and professional.
• Highlight Your Achievements: Showcase your accomplishments to strengthen your case. Bring specific examples where your work positively impacted the company. Quantify these results whenever possible—metrics and numbers make your contribution tangible and harder to overlook.
• Prepare for Pushback: It is normal for employers to negotiate lower, so have a response ready. Try something like, “I understand your perspective, but based on my skills and contributions to similar roles, I believe AED X is fair.” Stand firm on your minimum figure, while showing openness to a discussion.
• Practice with a Mentor: Rehearse your negotiation with a mentor or trusted colleague. Practicing with someone familiar with the UAE’s professional landscape can help you feel more prepared. They can provide feedback and make the conversation feel more natural when the actual negotiation happens.

The Role of Cultural Sensitivity in the UAE

In the UAE, understanding cultural nuances is essential. Being polite and professional goes a long way in negotiations. Even as you assert your worth, maintaining respect and a collaborative tone is crucial, especially in a multicultural setting where these qualities are valued. This balance can help build trust with your employer and improve your chances of securing a fair offer.

Salary negotiation isn’t just about money; it’s about recognizing your own value and expressing it confidently. Each time a woman successfully negotiates her salary, she sets a powerful example for others and builds a precedent for equitable pay. If you are a woman preparing for a salary discussion, remember: you’re not alone.

Let’s empower each other to ask for what we deserve!

I have helped multiple companies to source hard-to-find profiles in the UAE, across the Middle East and as far as Singapore and China. I enjoy helping leaders solving the growing pains of their company.