Why We Spend Our Lives Explaining Ourselves

Have you ever caught yourself justifying a decision, not just to others but to yourself? It is as though we’re wired to rationalize our actions, weaving stories about why we made the choices we did—even when no one’s asking.

This isn’t just a quirky habit; it’s a fundamental feature of how our minds work. Our justifications serve as bridges between the stories we tell ourselves about the past, the actions we take in the present, and the futures we imagine.

For years, I didn’t fully understand what drove these patterns. It wasn’t until I explored the idea of our six higher mental faculties—imagination, memory, perception, reasoning, intuition, and will—that I began to see how our minds unconsciously shape our actions and the stories we tell about them. These faculties, while powerful, often work on autopilot, keeping us stuck in a cycle of old beliefs and explanations.

Let’s explore why we "justify", the science behind it, and how we can use these mental faculties to break free and create lives driven by purpose—not rationalizations.

Why We Justify: The Science Behind the Stories

The Neuroscience Angle

The brain’s default mode network (DMN), a part of the brain that activates during rest or introspection, helps construct the narrative of our lives. This network ensures our actions feel coherent, connecting past, present, and future. When we make decisions, the DMN works overtime to justify them, keeping the story intact.

But here’s the catch: the DMN thrives on consistency, even if it means perpetuating patterns that no longer serve us. This is why we often repeat the same behaviors, justifying them with familiar stories, rather than stepping into the discomfort of change.

Cognitive Dissonance

Psychologists have long studied cognitive dissonance: the tension we feel when our actions don’t align with our beliefs. For instance, someone staying in a high-stress job might say, “I need this for my family,” even if the role is damaging their health. The justification resolves the tension between what they feel and what they do—but at what cost?

The Role of Our Six Mental Faculties

Our mental faculties unconsciously drive many of the justifications we make:

1. Imagination: We create vivid futures and justify actions as stepping stones to those imagined outcomes.
2. Memory: Past experiences shape our choices, often distorting reality to reinforce old beliefs.
3. Perception: The lens through which we see the world colors our justifications.
4. Reasoning: Logic becomes the tool we wield to explain actions, even those driven by emotion.
5. Intuition: Our gut feelings guide us, but we often justify them later with reasoning.
6. Will: What feels like conscious choice is often influenced by subconscious habits and external pressures.

These faculties are tools for creation and transformation, yet most of us operate on autopilot, allowing them to drive a cycle of justification that reinforces the past.

Breaking Free: Steps to Conscious Living

If you’re ready to stop living in the shadow of unconscious justifications, here are five actionable steps to help you break free:

1. Pause and Reflect

Begin by observing your internal dialogue. When you catch yourself justifying a decision, ask: “Is this explanation rooted in fear, habit, or alignment with my true values?” Simply pausing to reflect can disrupt unconscious patterns.

2. Engage Your Imagination

Use your imagination not just to envision a better future, but to explore alternative explanations for your actions. What if your decision wasn’t about proving yourself or pleasing others? What if it aligned purely with your purpose?

3. Reframe Your Perception

Challenge your perspective. When you justify an action based on past experiences, ask yourself: “Am I seeing the whole picture, or just a fragment that reinforces my beliefs?” Expanding your view can open up new possibilities.

4. Strengthen Your Free Will

Free will is like a muscle; the more you consciously exercise it, the stronger it becomes. Make deliberate choices that align with your values, even if they feel uncomfortable. Resist the urge to default to automatic justifications.

5. Trust Intuition, but Verify

Intuition is powerful, but it’s not infallible. When you act on gut feelings, take a moment to examine them. Are they grounded in truth, or are they influenced by unconscious biases? Verifying your intuition strengthens your ability to act with clarity.

Why This Matters

We justify because it’s how our minds protect us from discomfort. But the truth is, justifications can tether us to the past, ensuring that the future remains a reflection of old patterns. If we want something different—a life of clarity, freedom, and impact—we must disrupt the cycle.

As I wrote in one of the chapters of my book, Bold Conscious Leadership: How To Feel Free In A Restricted World, this cycle is not our destiny. By becoming conscious of how our mental faculties shape our actions, we gain the power to rewrite the story. Imagine what life could look like if you aligned your decisions with purpose instead of justification.

Resources to Deepen Your Understanding

For those who want to explore further, here are some thought-provoking resources:

BOOKS:

• You Are the Placebo by Dr. Joe Dispenza – A deep dive into the neuroscience of belief and behavior.
• Atomic Habits by James Clear – Practical strategies for breaking unconscious patterns.
• Bold Conscious Leadership by Raju Panjwani – Chapter 5 expands on how mental faculties shape our decisions.

ARTICLES:

• Research on the Default Mode Network (Nature Neuroscience).
• Cognitive Dissonance studies (Psychology Today).

Talks:

• Here is a webinar I did last year on Six Hidden Senses , in which I explain the six mental faculties and how to harness them.

What's Next?

If this resonates with you, let’s continue the conversation. In 2025, I’m launching a mastermind to help driven professionals like you step into a life of conscious creation and purpose. This is your opportunity to harness your mental faculties intentionally, design a future aligned with your vision, and break free from unconscious patterns.

Stay tuned—details are coming soon. Your story is yours to rewrite.