Why are we so angry?

The medial frontal gyrus, the medial insula, the right putamen, and the premotor cortex. This area has come to be known as the ‘hate circuit’ of our brains.

Now, why am I writing about this on a perfectly normal Saturday and why should you care?

We all know that social media today is a hotbed of toxic and hateful conversations. Sometimes we participate, sometimes we ignore. More importantly, we often wonder why everyone is spewing so much venom, whichever side they are on. Why are we so damn angry, I wondered?

Did some reading, and here’s a little of what I found. The premotor cortex is the part of our brain that gets activated when we have feelings of anger or aggression. When we feel hatred, this part of our brain is actually ready for physical attack! The frontal gyros are the part of the brain that deals with the ‘go or no-go’ decisions we make. When you hate somebody this part of the brain is constantly in conflict, wondering if you should act negatively on these feelings.

Now if one was physically outside in the world, in presence of the person, only on very rare occasions would that person have actually reacted. Crimes of passion make great stories, but we don’t really find people stabbing each other every time they are taken over by rage. We do see a lot of abuses being hurled during road rages, but then again, one shouts a swear word and drives on. Few roll over to pick up a fight just because the other driver passed from the wrong side. Who hasn’t clenched their jaws in anger at an office colleague, but no one lifts a fist to sock him on the face no matter how much you hate him?

You might say, that’s decency. I’d say it’s also the concern of consequences. We know we can’t walk free by doing that. So, we don’t.

On social media obviously there is no such concern so we let the hate circuit run free and we gear up and type with fervour. Most of the people we are angry with are public figures, and most likely they don’t even know we exist. So, there is worry about consequence and yet we get to share what we feel with the world and empty our tank of angst freely.

 So far, so good.

Unfortunately, they are a few problems here.

• There are too many of such ‘us’ who are angry and at the same time. And the cumulative impact of this hate becomes a dangerous avalanche. And as more people get added, the impact multiples exponentially.
• Hate is very attractive and rouses. Quoting from the novel 1984, by George Orwell, which can’t be called dystopian anymore... “The horrible thing about the Two Minutes Hate was not that one was obliged to act a part, but that it was impossible to avoid joining in. Within thirty seconds any pretense was always unnecessary. A hideous ecstasy of fear and vindictiveness, a desire to kill, to torture, to smash faces in with a sledgehammer, seemed to flow through the whole group of people like an electric current, turning one even against one's will into a grimacing, screaming lunatic. And yet the rage that one felt was an abstract, undirected emotion which could be switched from one object to another like the flame of a blowlamp.”
• The current times have filled us up with pent up anger. We are scared about the uncertainty of the future and are feeling boxed up in the present with multiple constraints. The anger that we are hurling on public figures is perhaps not even caused by them. They perhaps stem from a job loss, a pay cut, a cranky child, a nagging spouse, being tired of household chores, not being able to go out and such. So, when we spot someone in the social horizon saying or doing something that irks us, we come rolling down like a pack of bricks.

Hence, the problem.

Anonymity and lack of regulation have turned social media into fertile ground for hateful and prejudiced messages. And media then multiples that a few folds. But the bigger issue is that all this makes for content that gets lapped up in seconds.

In 2019, a terrorist opened fire in two mosques that killed and wounded many. The attack was live-streamed on Facebook by the perpetrator. And people watched it. That says enough.

You’d say. So, what’s the point?

I know, a few of us can’t solve this overwhelming problem (much as we would love to). But perhaps we can see if we can trick our brain’s hate circuit and not react to some of these stimuli. I have decided to try it and I'm sharing some things I learnt while trying to do this. And I won’t add ‘try and distract yourself’. We have all tried that ??

It's called ‘cognitive reappraisal’ (I think). It's not necessarily about replacing your negative thoughts with positive ones. It's about doing a reality check so your brain starts to understand those nagging negative thoughts have no ground to stand on.

Penning it down: This is an exercise in awareness. By writing down the negative thoughts you're thinking, you'll be forced to articulate and acknowledge them. Be sure to identify what triggered the negative thinking. Writing down what you're thinking and exactly why can be a cathartic brain dump.

Questioning reality: Flip the thought into a question, then try to answer it. Why am I angry with X right now? You likely won't find supporting evidence, because negative thoughts are not always based on reality. Next, look for answers that prove the question wrong.

Pretending to be someone else: We are our own biggest critics. To distance yourself from the negativity, pretend you're a good friend. This friend is exactly the same as you, with the same day-to-day challenges and negative thoughts. But he/she is looking for some affirmation. You'd want to find affirmations to dispute the negativity to help your friend. Now whatever you'd tell that friend, tell yourself.

Taking it to the extreme: What's the most extreme example of this particular negative thought? Blow things totally out of proportion and you'll gain some perspective. Exaggerating helps you realize how pointless the negative thought is in the first place.

Know what the funny part is?

Some parts of the brain that are activated when we hate are also the same as those that get activated when we love. Ofcourse there are differences. And the biggest difference is that when we love we shut off the part of the brain that makes a judgement.

One major difference between love and hate appears to be in the fact that large parts of the cerebral cortex – associated with judgment and reasoning – become de-activated during love, whereas only a small area is deactivated in hate.

That says a lot, doesn’t it? 

Note: The views are completely my own and based on knowledge from published material.