Why are we so afraid to ask for what we are worth?

It's a scenario we can all relate to: You're interviewing for a new position and it's going really well. You've nailed the often tricky "tell me about a time when..." questions and spoken intelligently about the company's values. Still, the make-or-break question has yet to be asked. "What are you compensation requirements?"

This is when your fight-or-flight mode may be triggered as your brain tries to instantly calculate the perfect number that lands between not pricing yourself out of the job, while avoiding leaving money on the table. You have developed the irrational fear that if you ask for what you want, you will be rejected. But this is not reality. This is a story you have told yourself so many times that it has become your reality. However, unless your salary expectations are ridiculously outside the orbit for the role you're pursuing, you are not going to lose out on an opportunity by asking for reasonable compensation. Read that again.

In my twenty-five years of recruiting, representing probably thousands of candidates for equally as many positions, I have never - not even once - had a hiring manager reject a qualified candidate citing compensation as the sole factor without first going back to the candidate to negotiate pay. If the manager or recruiter did not circle back with you regarding comp, then comp was not the main or only factor. It could have been one of a dozen different reasons. Bottom line - you did not lose out on a job because you dared to ask for the salary you need and deserve.

So, how do you answer the compensation question in a way that allows you to communicate a fair representation of your skills, while also leaving the door open to compromise? You can try, "I am currently interviewing for roles in $xx - $xx range, but I will be weighing many factors before making a decision, so I remain open minded to salary." You can also be slightly more specific by saying, "I'm currently earning $xx and I would like to stay as close to that as possible, but I am flexible depending on the opportunity." Lastly, if you have a hard bottom, don't be afraid to stand firm. "My range is $xx to $xx and I am not entertaining offers outside of that range at the moment."

In the end, at the offer stage, you may in fact accept a reduced rate, which is completely up to you. The point being that it is completely up to you. If you don't ask for it, you definitely won't get it. Let any compromise be the outcome of the choices you made; not the result of limitations you imposed upon yourself.