Should You Listen to the Advice? 3 Ways to Tell

When I was a young sales rep, I was on fire. I had found a good mentor, I loved the products I was selling, and I was very energetic. Every day, I hustled to make as many calls as I could. I traveled excessively to see as many customers as humanly possible. 

Everything was going great, and when I got together with my peers for sales meetings, I was the first one to raise my hand to offer ideas and suggestions during brainstorming sessions. I was also brutally honest with the product development team. I wasn’t shy at all about sharing with them what customers didn’t like, so we could make changes. And of course, I wanted those changes sooner, rather than later.

I really thought I was impressing everyone and doing well. Until one day, at the very tail end of a sales conference, my mentor, the woman I looked up to more than anyone, pulled me aside. I really thought she was going to tell me how impressed she was with all of my success and hard work.

Instead, she said, “Katie, you have a bright future ahead of you, but you’re rubbing people the wrong way. You're coming on too strong, and relationships are one of the most important assets you’re going to have during your career. You need to tone it down a little and nurture those relationships.”

I was stunned. And hurt. How dare she? I was at the top of my game. No one was selling more than I was. 

But as I walked around the room and saw groups gathered around talking to each other, I let her words sink in. Was she right? If I was really being honest, people maybe had respect for me, but did they like me? 

And then it hit me. I was being a bragger. People saw me as a know-it-all. While I thought was being helpful, I wasn't. 

That mentor changed my life. She held up a mirror for me, and it was incredibly painful to see the truth, but it allowed me to make changes. Changes that improved my career in so many ways, and opened up so many roads for me, as I nurtured friendships and relationships that have lasted for decades now.

As the years have passed, I've thought about that day often, and have been so thankful for her words. An article recently released by Forbes outlines the three elements sucess for mentorships, and one of the most important is for the mentee to be open to receiving that tough advice.

But remember, it's not just mentors that can give harsh but helpful criticism. It's really anyone you interact with that can offer you that nugget of wisdom that can change your life. So, the next time someone offends you, ask yourself. 

• Does this person care about me, or could they just be trying to hurt me? 
• Do I respect this person's opinion?
• Is what they're saying true?

In my case, I knew my mentor cared about me. And not only did I respect her, she was very well-liked and respected throughout the organization. And lastly, there was a lot of truth to her words, and I'm so glad I listened to her all those years ago. There is no doubt I would not be where I am today.

Katie Mullen had a successful sales career spanning over almost 20 years, in several different industries from medical devices to insurance, to online media and fund-raising. She is now a keynote speaker and sales trainer, speaking through Brightside Speakers. She founded MMS Consulting in 2014, which has done extensive customer research. 

You can find her [email protected].