Why We Should Enjoy Missing Out

"If only I had more time..." - he said. "My to-do list keeps growing despite my long hours in the office. I get home late and exhausted, with little time for family and no energy to focus on developing my career. Can you help me?" 

 "I can't fabricate more time, unfortunately" - I said, and he gave me a tired smile. "What we can do though, is find the joy of missing out"- he gave a doubtful yet hopeful nod.

Did you know that the word "priority" didn't exist until the 15th century; and that when it merged into conversations, it was always singular - never "priorities"? It wasn't until about 500 years later that suddenly became plural. As Greg McKeown, author of Essentialism said 

"Illogically we reasoned that by changing the word we could bend reality. Somehow we would now be able to have multiple "first things".

The first step to embracing the joy of missing out is to break-through two myths: 

1. The longer I work, the more I get done. According to Sandford research, our productivity drops dramatically after 50h workweek. In fact, workers who put 70h a week produce nothing more with those extra 20 hours. Research has also proven that our brains need 20min breaks to recover every 90min work. Therefore, our attempts to work non-stop only gets our minds to exhaustion. 
2. Multitasking is the best way. A study by the University of London showed that the IQ level of people who multitask drops to similar levels of those who skipped a night of sleep or smoked marijuana. Yes, you read that right. Another research also discovered that when we multitask, our productivity decreases by as much as 40%, which means that we lose about 16h per week, two full days every week! In perspective, you could be taking three months off per year and still deliver the same results, crazy ha!?

 He nods, takes a deep breath and asks me: "that sounds great, but how do I choose where to focus?"

We all have three resources - time, energy and focus. Each of these elements is a depleting commodity; once it's invested, you can't get it back. The key is in consciously choose how you spend your time and where you focus our energy. The three actions below have proven to be highly effective.  

1. Define your north-star. Chasing other's carrots will never make us feel fully productive nor fulfilled; no matter how many tasks we check off our list. Instead of letting other's priorities and goals to become ours, how about you ask yourself "WHY? Why should I do this?"
2. Focus. Archimedes, a Greek mathematician and inventor in the ancient Syracuse, protected his town from the sophisticated weapons of the Romans by simply placing mirrors on the cliffs. These mirrors reflected the reis of the sun towards the oncoming boats, igniting every enemy ship before it reached the shoreline. The focus of the solar energy is what made it work. Likewise, it's the focused time what creates the greatest impact, not doing more scattered work. Pareto's 80/20 rule and Eisenhower's Urgent-Important matrix are helpful resources here. 
3. Set time-boundaries. As per the Parkinson's Law "a task will take as long as you have time for it". In perspective, if you set a day to do a two-hour talk, it will take a day. While the 2h task itself doesn't need the extra time, it's the stress and tension of having to get it done that fills the space. This doesn't mean that you could prepare a sales presentation in 1min, but if you got an unexpected call from the client you've been chasing for long inviting you for a meeting, you would “surprisingly” build the presentation in the time-space you have, because you know you have to. Moreover, you can schedule "empty blocks in your calendar" to ensure you have some time to be strategic or to breathe. By blocking these in your calendar, you increase the chances of not being called for a meeting. You can also practice saying no to some late evening calls; and when this is not possible, to feel comfortable compensating it with a later start or a more extended lunch break.

 In conclusion, we need to unlearn to relearn. Stop pursuing the idea of the multi-tasker 24-7 available employee we have been sold to build a more productive and healthy work arrangement that suits you. I leave you today with Joan Halifax, Zen Buddhist teacher's words 

"there is the in-breath, and there is the out-breath. It's easy to believe that we must exhale all the time without ever inhaling. But the inhale is absolutely necessary if you want to continue to exhale".