Why we should all mark International Men’s Day

"What are we doing for International Men's Day?" I sent this text out to a colleague a few days ago and his response surprised me. My colleague feared that supporting International Men's Day could send the wrong message. His concerns are not unfounded, we have seen many examples of people who use "men's issues" to gaslight the lived experiences of women and other minorities. Reactions like #NotAllMen which trended on Twitter in response to the tragic murder of Sarah Everard who was kidnapped on the evening of 3 March 2021, only further legitimise my colleague's fears. Even the debate on International Men’s Day held in the House of Commons on November 17th showed many empty seats on the Government benches and virtually nobody on the opposition benches. Like many, my male colleague had not even heard of International Men's Day.

As an organisation ( Association for Black and Minority Ethnic Engineers (AFBE-UK) ) that prides itself in representing the underrepresented and disadvantaged, it's easy to fall into the trap of viewing the majority, as a monolith but that denies Dr Martin Luther King's vision of society as "a single garment of destiny" where "whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly". We cannot claim to have an inclusive outlook whilst overlooking issues that disproportionately affect men.

What’s International Men's Day about?

International Men’s Day started in Trinidad and Tobago in 1999, it was created by historian Dr Jerome Tuluck Singh to commemorate his father’s birthday. Fast forward 23 years and it is now celebrated in over eighty countries with the aim of highlighting:

• the social issues faced by men both mentally and physically
• the role of men as active parents
• men as positive agents of change in society; role modelling inclusive behaviours
• seeing the different identities of men through the lens of intersectionality

It is a day to share, listen to and be inspired by the diverse experiences that men have. This Year's Theme is "Men and Boys"

We cannot claim to have an inclusive outlook whilst overlooking issues that disproportionately affect men.

What issues affect men and boys?

• Prostate Cancer - On average, c12,000 men (12,039) die from?prostate cancer?every year. Prostate cancer is the second most common cause of cancer death in males in the UK, accounting for 14% of all cancer deaths in males in the UK (2017-2019).
• Suicide - Nearly 5,000 men took their lives in 2021. This is the equivalent of thirteen per day. Men make up 75% of all deaths by suicide and it is the biggest cause of male deaths under fifty.
• Covid-19 - Covid mortality rates?for working aged men are thirty-one deaths per 100,000 compared with equivalent female death rates of seventeen per 100,000, respectively
• University Entry - In?September 2021: 45% of all university entrants were male (all ages) and just for 18-year-olds, only 43%. of 18-year-old boys attend. In 2021, overall, 186,700 (UK domiciled) men and 261,370 women of all ages were placed at university (40% more women go to university). For 18-year-olds only, 118,320 men (UK domiciled) and 154,290 women went to university (30% difference).?
• GCSEs - 52.5% of girls in 2022 achieved a?Grade 5 GCSE?or above in English and Mathematics as did 46.2% boys. By 2019, boys had, had worse exam results than girls for 30 years.?
• Exclusions - Boys continue to have more than three times?the number of permanent exclusions than girls, with 3,900 exclusions, at a rate of 0.09, compared to 1,200 for girls (0.02).
• Rough Sleeping - Of the?2,440?estimated to be sleeping rough on a single night in England in 2021, a total of 2,080 were male and 320 were female. Men make up?85% of rough sleepers.?
• Prison - There are over 84,000 men in prison across?England, Wales, Scotland,?and?Northern Ireland. They make up 95% of the prison population.
• Domestic Abuse - In?2019/20?– 757,000 men (1.56 million women) suffered from Domestic Abuse – one in three victims are male.
• ?Sexual Violence/Abuse - 155,000 men were estimated to have been victims of?sexual assault?in 2019/20 (618,000 women). 989,000 men in total have been a victim of sexual assault since they were sixteen. In addition, 7,000 men were?raped or victims of attempted rape?(132,000 women) in 2019/20. 87,000 men in total have been raped or been victims of rapes since they were sixteen.

Boys continue to have more than three times?the number of permanent exclusions than girls

The Intersectionality of men

Additionally, for many men of colour there is an added layer due to racism, an idea clearly articulated in Dr Nike Folayan’ s "Dreams for my Son ".

If you are having suicidal thoughts, talk to someone . Admitting you are struggling is not a sign of weakness

What can you do to mark International Men’s Day:

1. Learn about issues that disproportionately affect men in the workplace and actively advocate policies to address them.
2. Appreciate male colleagues who have been allies on your life and/or career journey.
3. Reject narrow stereotypical norms that constrain men’s physical and emotional health and negatively impact their relationships with women, other men, and children.
4. Be a champion of mental health by taking time to listen to your male colleagues.
5. Remember that young boys need both male and female role models to succeed. Who can you mentor?
6. If you are male and aged 45 or over,?get a prostate examination. This is particularly important if you are black. 1 in 4 black men will get?prostate cancer ?in their lifetime. Black men are more likely to get prostate cancer than other men, who have a 1 in 8 chance of getting prostate cancer.
7. If you are having suicidal thoughts, talk to someone . Admitting you are struggling is not a sign of weakness.

15 years ago, Dr Nike Folayan MBE (PhD, CEng., FIET) and I founded Association for Black and Minority Ethnic Engineers (AFBE-UK) in response to youth violence in our immediate community; the primary group affected by this was young Black boys so while my colleague's fears are very understandable, it transpires that the aim of International Men's Day ties in with the basis of AFBE-UK's very existence. We collectively succeed when we listen to and act on the concerns of every group in society and this includes men. That is the essence of Ubuntu - "I am because we are"?