Why we should all know a bit more about Depression. And Suicide. #YouAreNotAlone

It's such a scary word isn't it. Probably the most taboo of them all. No one wants to hear it, we definitely don't want to talk about it. I certainly didn't want to talk about it.

But then I had to.

Very recently one of my nearest and dearest told me they'd had suicidal thoughts in the past. I know this person well, I know they've struggled with their mental health for many years. So this wasn't a massive shock. I felt a bit like a boxer, I knew the punch was coming, I just didn't expect it to hurt as much.

Unfortunately this isn't the first time I've had a conversation about suicide with a loved one. It doesn't get any easier to roll the punches, no matter how much experience you have in that particular ring.

I've written about mental health challenges in the past. It's something I've been a voyeur of from the outside for a long time. Not having your own mental health issues (not any diagnosed ones anyway) but watching others suffer with an invisible illness brings it's own challenges.

If I'm being completely honest it's just really difficult to empathise with someone having feelings that are completely alien to you. For a long time I simply couldn't understand why anyone felt the way they did. Or why they couldn't just shake themselves out of their depression.

The problem is that the bit of grey matter in your head. Your brain. The thing that controls every. single. thing. you. do. Well the brain works in very different, and sometimes mysterious ways.

A heart can have an irregular beat, a kidney can fail, an arm can break... when that happens we seen urgent medical advice. When the most important organ in your body malfunctions, it turns the fix is not as simple as just telling someone to 'cheer up'.

Over the years I've become more comfortable with the topic of mental health. I've done my best to encourage others to talk about it. I've tried to break down the stigmas and taboos that surround depression, anxiety and mental-health issues in general.

But Suicide. Suicide is a biggie. Just typing the word has me second guessing myself.... should I be writing an article on LinkedIn about suicide? I mean depression is one thing, but 'suicide' is a whole different kettle of fish.

But here's why I think it's important.

The language that has always stuck with me about suicide was that it is 'the easy way out', or 'a cowards way out'. I've never questioned that, and I've probably, unfortunately, added to that narrative myself in the past.

That was until more than one person, each of them very close to me, told me that at one point or another they have considered taking their own lives.

Eye. Opener.

So I did what I encourage you all to do. I spent some time learning about suicide.

Suicide is the biggest killer of men under 50 in the UK. That stat used to be 'men under 40' but just like cancer, mental health issues are becoming more and more prevalent - a trend that will only continue in the wake of COVID, and the constant pressures young men and women are put under by society & social media.

If we're unable to talk about an illness that is killing more young men under 50 than cancer, and increasingly targeting teenage girls... then unfortunately we are part of the problem.

My thinking goes like this - If we know more about this subject then we can / will:

• Have a better understand of the challenge
• Talk about it more openly
• Hack away at the taboos
• Make it easier for other men (and women) to talk about their own struggles
• Possibly, just possibly, stop someone we love (or even someone we don't) from killing themselves.

Simple.

So here's what I've done so far.

I read this amazing book by Poorba Bell - Chase the Rainbow:

An honest yet uplifting account of a woman's life affected (but not defined) by the suicide of her husband and the deadly paradox of modern-day masculinity.

Punk rocker, bird nerd and book lover Rob Bell had a full, happy life. He had a loving wife, a big-bottomed dog named Daisy and a career as a respected science journalist. But beneath the carefully cultivated air of machoism and the need to help other people, he struggled with mental health and a drug addiction that began as a means to self-medicate his illness. In 2015, he ended his life in New Zealand on a winter s night.

Simply put, it's an amazing book which completely changed my perceptions & misconceptions about suicide. I implore you to read it.

Then last week I watched - Chris Gethard: Career Suicide. A one man show where Chris talks openly, honestly, and side-splittingly funnily, about his struggle with mental health, depression, suicide & substance abuse. It had me laughing and crying in equal measure. It was educational. It gave me a glimpse into a depressive mind. It helped me find the empathy I've been searching for.

All of the statistics suggest that you, reading this, will know someone who is suffering from, or has suffered from, a form of depression / anxiety in their lifetime. You might even suffer yourself.

I'm not a mental health professional, and I'm no means an expert in depression (or suicide). But I've witnessed the damage it can do to a person.

Reading one book, and watching one (very funny) one-man comedy show have made me just a little more equipped to help me help those around me who suffer.

This #mentalhealthweek please take some time to talk to your loved ones, to ask them how they are, try to recognise little changes in their behaviour which might be nothing, but might indicate something deeper.

Read a book. Watch a comedy. Learn.

You never know - you might literally be in a position where you can save someones live.

Look after yourselves, and remember #YouAreNotAlone

Rich

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If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health challenges & / or suicidal thoughts here are some super online resources that might be of help. Please speak to somebody, help is only a phone call or message away.

Samaritans

National Suicide Prevention Alliances

CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably)