Why We Need Vulnerability in the Workplace

As you may already know, I’m a huge fan of Brene Brown’s work. Her message and all of her teachings have had an impact on my life, especially what she shares about vulnerability. Through learning about the topic, I’ve come to see that it is not only essential for the success of our personal lives and relationships, but it’s also crucial in the workplace as well. Some of the key ingredients that make businesses successful, such as creativity, innovation, risk-taking and failure all require some degree of vulnerability.

She defines vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure” and throughout her talks and numerous books, including Dare to Lead (which I highly recommend by the way!), she gives examples of what that looks and feels like from her personal life and the lives of countless people she has interviewed: 

Vulnerability is apologizing to a colleague about how you spoke to them in a meeting 

Receiving tough feedback on your performance 

Getting fired and then having to tell your family 

Starting your own business

Talking about race with your team

The first date after a divorce

Anyone who truly understands what it is to be vulnerable doesn’t get excited about becoming more vulnerable because to be vulnerable takes courage and is the pinnacle of bravery. It is about leaning in rather than walking away in situations where we feel uncertainty and at risk.   

Being vulnerable isn’t about oversharing nor is it a sympathy seeking tool. In the context of vulnerability in the workplace, there are professional boundaries to what you can share and with whom. As noted in Dare to Lead, vulnerability without limits is irresponsible- "it is confession, gossip, venting or shock and awe but it is not vulnerability". We must always think about what and why we’re sharing, who the audience is and ensure that it is appropriate and productive. 

For me, I think of vulnerability as putting yourself out there when there is no safety net. It’s about “stepping into the arena” which means having the courage to show up, ask questions, and share an idea or a concept when you don’t know how it will land. One thing that keeps us from doing this fully is fear of criticism, but in her book, Daring Greatly, Brene Brown shares a strategy for dealing with this, she says:

“If you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked on occasion, I’m not interested in getting your feedback.” 

People who are not also “in the arena” with us are sitting in the cheap seats. They are not taking any risks so it’s easy for them to criticize those who are. What we need to remember is that we don’t have to accept criticism or any sort of negative feedback from those sitting in the cheap seats. We can use our discretion to decide who’s feedback actually matters to us and let go of the rest. 

So why is this whole concept of vulnerability easier said than done? As Brene Brown explains, what holds us back are our egos- "our egos love gold stars and crave acceptance and approval". No one wants to be called out for asking the dumb question or suggesting a wacky idea, so instead we armour up and stay quiet. This is precisely why it is incumbent on leaders to create cultures in which people can feel safe, seen, heard and respected. Cultures that promote curiosity, risk-taking, experimentation and failure. 

Most of us have come to the realization that without failure there can be no success. There are so many stories of people and businesses who have gone on to achieve great things, only after a series of failures. As Mickey Rooney says “you always pass failure on the way to success”. But failure can be an intensely painful and vulnerable experience. When we fail it is often after trying something new, putting ourselves out there and falling short. This can trigger feelings of shame, unworthiness and inadequacy and make us feel emotionally exposed. It is normal for us to want to do all we can to avoid failure, but without the courage to be vulnerable, and risk the inevitable failure, we sacrifice innovation and real breakthrough change. 

If you’re open to sharing, I would love to hear your thoughts/opinion on the topic. What do you think about the importance of vulnerability in the workplace? And how can we begin to encourage people to show up in a more vulnerable way at work?