Why We Need More Empathy in the World

If the ongoing crisis and trauma on display in the treatment of innocent civilians--particularly women and children--in Gaza has shown anything, it's the lack of empathy by many people.

According to the United Nations agencies, 70% of the 20,000 plus civilian fatalities were women and children; almost 1 million women and children have lost their homes.

The following is an excerpt from my new book, The Journey to Self-Mastery: Unlocking the Secrets to Personal Transformation. The book deals extensively with the importance of empathy and compassion in our lives.

Is Empathy Inborn, or Can It Be Learned?

Both! From the moment they are born, babies show signs of empathy. Ever notice how one crying baby can set off a roomful of other infants? It’s not just about the noise. Research shows babies react differently to another baby’s genuine cry than to a fake one.

The way children are raised makes a difference. One study by Ruth Feldman and colleagues showed that babies with more physical contact with their mothers developed stronger empathy as they grew. And according to the findings of their meta-analysis of 18 empathy training trials, empathy may be taught.

We can cultivate empathy throughout our lives and use it as a powerful tool for social change, according to Roman Krznaric, founding faculty member of The School of Life in London, empathy advisor to organizations like Oxfam and the United Nations, and author of The Wonderbox: Curious Histories of How to Live and How to Find Fulfilling Work.

Since ancient times, there has been an underlying assumption that people are born inherently bad. It's a concept that shapes news reports, television programs, motion pictures, and the laws that govern our daily lives. The origins of this idea can be found in various works of Western philosophy, including those of Machiavelli, Thomas Hobbes, Sigmund Freud, and, some would claim, the Bible and Christianity. We've been taught that people are inherently egocentric and primarily motivated by their own interests.

Rutger Bregman's Humankind: A Hopeful History is one of the best works that argues that empathy is an innate human trait. In his analysis of the past 200,000 years of human history, Bregman argues that humans are inherently kind and empathic, not competitive but rather cooperative, and more prone to trust than distrust one another, explaining how this exists across many cultures. Homo sapiens' evolutionary history provides a solid evolutionary foundation for this tendency, Bregman says.

A team of developmental psychologists under the direction of Julia Krevans point out that most of the past research has focused on how much sharing of objects that are already theirs occurs among toddlers. Their new study shows toddlers frequently display extraordinary justice and kindness.

In a different study, 112 three-year-olds were observed exchanging resources and awards in psychological science in teams of two males and two girls. The sharing in over 80% of these cooperative scenarios was "passive," meaning that one child got the two fair rewards and left the other for his or her partner. The other child would occasionally be instructed to take their fair share of the pie if they didn't do so immediately. Other times, one child would deliberately take two rewards and hand the other two to the other two. Physical altercations and disagreements were hardly ever present.

None of these altruistic gestures would have been possible without empathy.

"The present excitement surrounding empathy is a result of a significant shift in the science of how we understand human nature,” according to Krznaric, "Evidence suggests we are not just homo sapiens but also homo empathicus—wired for empathy, social collaboration, and mutual aid—pushing the traditional thinking that believes humans are essentially self-interested creatures to the side.”

In the last ten years, neuroscientists have learned that our brains have an "empathy circuit" that, if damaged, can restrict our ability to understand how others feel. Evolutionary biologists like Frans de Waal claimed that we are social animals who have evolved and thrived as a species to care for one another.

Researchers A. Senju and colleagues claim that before the age of 18 months, we are already predisposed to feeling empathy.

Jamil Zaki's book The War for Kindness states, "Our collaborative flair stems from empathy: the capacity to share, understand, and care about what others feel. People who can empathize easily report better levels of contentment, lower levels of stress, and simpler social interactions. Everyone involved benefits from these positive effects: patients of empathic doctors are happier with the care they receive, spouses of empathic people are happier in their marriages, children of empathic parents are better able to control their emotions, and employees of empathic managers suffer from stress-related illnesses less frequently. Empathy maintains the social fabric of our society by encouraging altruism, tolerance for those who are different from us in appearance or ideology, and commitment to environmental sustainability.”

Why Business Needs An Empathy Revolution

We’ve all heard about cutthroat workplaces where bullying is rampant. Politics today is infused with mean and hurtful people. Racism, crime, and abuse are still prevalent.

Even in financially successful firms, we increasingly hear reports of toxic workplaces and toxic leaders where rudeness, abuse, and bullying are the norm. Never in history has the need for empathy and compassion for others been stronger, both within organizations and in society.

Simon Baron-Cohen, a professor of developmental psychopathology at Cambridge University, is one of the foremost experts on the psychology of empathy. His book, The Science of Evil explores what he has learned about the link between empathy and cruelty over more than two decades of research.

Baron-Cohen argues that those who exhibit a greater lack of empathy and who lack the need to make apologies after harming someone else—what he refers to as "Zero-Negative"—have abnormal brain patterns, which explains why they are capable of harm and, in certain cases, commit the most terrible crimes.

Studies utilizing fMRI technology support Baron-Cohen's hypothesis. With the aid of this technology, scientists have been able to go inside the heads of psychopaths, who are most inclined to commit crimes of a sadistic type and have found severe anomalies in their brain activity. For instance, when shown images of people suffering, psychopaths' brains undergo reduced activity in regions important to the empathy circuit, according to fMRI scan. Another study found that watching movies about individuals getting wounded caused reward-related brain activity in adolescents with high levels of aggression. This demonstrates that individuals with antisocial personality disorder may have a lack of empathy as well as take pleasure in witnessing the misery of others.

“I See You”

"Sawubona," a Zulu greeting that is translated as "I See You," means "We See You." An adaptation of the idea appeared in the motion picture Avatar. It's a way of understanding that people's perceptions, which are molded by their own experiences and the myths and ideas ingrained in them through their family and culture, play a role in how they interpret the world around them.

Why Businesses Should Care More About Empathy

Most business schools and employee training programs focus on the “how” to do your job—the cognitive processes and job skills. They rarely if ever focus on emotional intelligence, empathy, compassion, and kindness. And leaders are chosen based on either their knowledge and expertise or because they are charismatic.

According to current studies, business executives and students seem to have lower levels of empathy. Sarah Brown’s research hints that business students seem more self-centered than students in other fields. They’re also more likely to cheat—and by a big margin. This isn’t just about classroom ethics. Brown suggests these attitudes might carry into the professional world, which could explain some damaging corporate behaviors we’ve seen.

Karoline Strauss at ESSEC Business School examined the same topic and concluded: “Research has shown that students majoring in economics are less concerned with the benefits of others. The more economics courses students take, the more positively they view self-interest and the better they feel about their self-interested behavior. It seems learning about economics fosters more positive attitudes towards selfishness.”

Roger Karnes claims that "empathy and social skills are undertrained and underdeveloped by organizations." His research discusses the negative spiral effect that starts with ineffective leadership, leads to a general lack of social skills and empathy in businesses, manifests as mistreatment of employees, and ends with rising employee discontentment and all its effects.

Wendy Mill Chalmers draws the intriguing conclusion that, given the challenges of the current fast-paced organizational climate, there ought to be a positive correlation between hard criteria and soft abilities. In 'faster' workplaces, she says, inspirational leadership that demonstrates emotional intelligence, sensitivity, and understanding of the development requirements of its staff members is more important than “hard” technical skills.

According to Chalmers, if modern leaders want to go beyond simply adapting to modern norms, they must engage in "21st-century enlightenment." She examines the ideology of possessive individualism, which has come to be associated with consumer capitalism and democracy. She finds it has promoted selfishness, greed, and unethical behavior while devaluing empathy.

If you think your workplace successfully exhibits empathy, think again. Less than 50% of employees believed that their firms showed empathy, according to recent Businessolver research.

For 46 years, Development Dimensions International (DDI), a training industry pioneer, has studied leadership. They believe the key to effective leadership is having several "fruitful conversations" with people inside and outside your organization. To find the conversational skills that have the biggest impact on performance, they assessed more than 15,000 executives from more than 300 companies across 20 industries and 18 countries to provide evidence for this claim.

According to DDI study, there is a critical need for empathic leaders. In their thorough examination, only four out of ten frontline leaders exhibited high or adept empathy.

In an interview with Forbes, Richard S. Wellins, senior vice president of DDI and one of the study's authors, said, "We feel empathy is significantly declining. Even more concerning is that a University of Michigan survey of college students over eight years found a 34 to 48 percent loss in empathic skills. Future leaders will come from these students! We think that one reason for this reduction is that leaders now have a lot on their plates from their organizations, which makes them less likely to connect face-to-face.”

Studies on Leader Empathy

Many modern leadership theories contend that empathy is crucial to effective leadership. Transformational leaders need empathy to demonstrate to their followers that they are concerned about their needs and success. Genuine leaders must also possess empathy to be considerate of others. Many experts agree that emotional intelligence, including empathy, is essential for a successful leader.

The following findings about the importance of empathy in leaders come from other studies:

• Leaders who truly connect and understand their teams often witness more enthusiastic and productive behaviors.
• Teams get more creative when their bosses showcase qualities like humility and empathy.
• Empathy boosts leadership. Different leadership styles, from charismatic to servant leadership, highlight their importance. Dynamic interpersonal skills produced by empathy inspire workers and increase leaders' effectiveness.
• Empathy isn’t just a feeling. It has deep roots in our brains. For instance, watching someone get hurt might make us wince because our brains have evolved to feel that pain.
• Self-awareness is the foundation for empathy. Empathy goes beyond only expressing emotion; it also requires thinking and feeling.

Empathy and Self-Awareness

Researchers go into great depth about how empathy and mindfulness are related, including the following:

• Mindfulness helps us be in the moment and accept experiences different from our own, which can help grow our empathy.
• Empathy experts like Christopher K. Germer and Ronald D. Siegel believe that mindfulness helps us feel more connected to everything around us, breaking down barriers we often put up.
• Early research has shown that mindfulness-based therapies have the potential to promote empathy in close relationships.

Boosting Our Empathy

You can become more empathic, even if you may not have experienced that early in life or focused on it as an adult.

Roman Krznaric's has spent a decade studying empathy. He believes that making empathy a regular habit can enhance everyone’s life. Here’s what he recommends to grow our empathic muscles:

1. Get curious about others. Engage with strangers. Chatting with someone new can broaden our understanding of different lifestyles. It’s like reigniting the curious child within us.
2. Believe in growth. Researcher Erika Weisz from Harvard says the first step to being more empathetic is believing we can be.
3. Experience another’s life. Try stepping into someone else’s shoes. For example, author George Orwell once lived among the poor in East London, which transformed his views and relationships.
4. Listen deeply. Being a good listener is more than just hearing words. It’s about truly understanding the emotions and needs of the speaker. That’s empathetic listening.
5. Ask questions. Instead of thinking you know what someone is saying, empathy pushes you to have an open mind and ask questions to ensure you understand them. Asking questions is the key to comprehending someone else's perspective.
6. Pay attention to body language. Words are just part of the story. Notice the voice tone, facial expressions, and body movements to understand others’ emotions. Even better, mirror them.
7. Share relatable stories. Sharing a time when you underwent a similar experience can show the other person that you listened to what they had to say and understand their feelings. They could feel less alone in their situation as a result. However, act with caution here. Never attempt to "one-up" someone by bringing up a time when you, too, had a quarrel with a close friend or got rejected from a job that you wanted.
8. Read fiction (not only non-fiction). Dive into a good novel. It’s like a practice session for empathy as you understand a character’s emotions and actions. What better way to develop empathy than to read a novel or short story and put yourself in the other person's shoes?
9. Connect with different cultures. Engaging with diverse groups helps us see the world through different lenses. Even simple interactions can broaden our empathetic perspective. According to some commentators, Americans' unwillingness to travel outside of their home nation is a sign of their intolerance and prejudice toward people of different racial and cultural backgrounds. In a study conducted by market analysts OnePoll under contract with the travel accessory manufacturer Victorinox, 2,000 Americans found 11% of poll participants have never been outside of their home state, 54% have only visited 10 or fewer states, 13% have never travelled in an airplane, and 40% have never left the United States.
10. Improve emotional recognition. Understand the fine lines between emotions and feelings, for example, the difference between frustration and disappointment. Learn the vocabulary of emotions.
11. Take an empathy assessment. The University of California, Berkeley's Greater Good Science Centre provides a free online empathy test that quickly assesses your level of empathy.

?In my book, you can read more about the importance of empathy and compassion in achieving self-mastery.

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