WHY WE HATE: Understanding your "fundamental attribution error"

WHY WE HATE:

Thought I'd share from one of my recent paper written for a master's program in psychology.

Ben Lerner - WHY WE HATE: From my recent college paper on...

A friend of mine is 1. From Iran, 2. Half Jewish, and 3. Half Muslim. When I met him he told me, “When I come to America, they hate me 3 times.” He was smiling when he said it, but it’s true; our culture has the potential to hate people for virtually anything that makes them different than the average person. Yet, who the heck wants to be average?
An old, but true notion when it comes to treating people fairly is, “If you grew up like someone else did: in their same culture, with their same influences, and with their same experiences then you would act exactly the same way they do.” When it comes to attribution (how we explain the behavior of others), we are often quick to judge people’s character with extreme prejudice rather than look to the external forces that are influencing that behavior. It’s the rare, wise, gracious person who takes into account the environments, stresses, and experiences others have been through in an effort to understand someone and accept (or even love them) for who they are. Candidly, I try not to judge because I know that at certain, stressful times in my life - I've been a jerk or made some really dumb, short-sighted decisions. Even at best, I've got issues....
The tendency to bias or judge people’s traits, attitudes, opinions, and potential this way without considering the role of their background or circumstances is called the "Fundamental attribution error." Whether we recognize it fully or not, each of us has certain biases that causes us to perceive others a certain way. Therefore, we can make a fundamental error or become prejudice when developing our theories of why people are the way they are or whether we are motivated to help or accept other individuals or groups of people. On an interesting note, this error also impacts how you judge your own possibilities and whether or not you believe something is achievable for yourself. In other words, your fundamental attribution error can cause you to really aim low in your own life.
There is an ancient fable that illustrates the concept of fundamental attribution error pretty well. There was once a great and noble king that was enormously popular and loved by all of his people. Tragically, however, one day the well that supplied all of the townspeople with water became poisoned and caused everyone to go crazy. This altered their opinion concerning the king. Soon, they became suspicious of the king, believed he had gone totally mad, and wanted him to be dethroned, banned from the kingdom, and even plotted to have him killed. The king, who had his own water supply, could not understand what had happened to the people and why they had such an extreme change of heart. Ultimately, he assumed they were just lowly, jealous townsfolk who’s ignorance and poor breeding had led them to these conclusions. Yet, as king, he chose to go down into town and see what he could do to bring back the peace. When he arrived, he was thirsty and drank from the well. That day, the king and the townspeople all celebrated because each had regained their sanity and come to their senses again!
Our experiences, biases, and the way we process information can be so strongly programmed, that the danger is we would draw immediate assumptions about people and situations that can be partially or totally in error. This can force you to hate, judge, and despise others, have un-forgiveness, and even cause you to doubt your own future.
So the question always is: is there really something horribly wrong with all of the people in the world that are different than you? Or, if you were them, with their experiences, inner thoughts, and all that is required to live inside of their skin, would you act exactly the same way?
I’m paraphrasing here, but the Bible offers some insights: “Don’t hate – for in the same way you hate others, you will be hated … or even hate yourself." Love first and ask questions later.