Why Trying to "Do It All" as a Working Parent Is a Recipe for Burnout—And What to Do Instead

Being a working parent is like…discovering buried treasure in the ocean, only to find yourself drowning while mermaids and dolphins try (unsuccessfully) to rescue you because you didn’t make enough pancakes.?

It’s trippy, absurd, impossible to describe, and even more impossible to navigate successfully, yet it’s utterly magical and totally worth it.

You are deeply invested in your children’s success, your family’s well-being, your career, your home, and?—?if there’s time?—?your self-care, purpose, and identity, not to mention your community roles or extended family obligations.

You face a conundrum. The reality is that trying to excel in all these areas is a fool’s errand and a surefire way to burn out.

The US Surgeon General recently issued an advisory on the mental health and well-being of parents, highlighting the urgent need for better support.?

Over the last decade, parents have been consistently more likely to report high levels of stress compared to other adults, and when stress becomes severe or prolonged, it can take a serious toll?—?not just on parents but on their children too.

The pressure to be everything to everyone is a heavy emotional burden. You face thousands of decisions daily, and the relentless pace never lets up.?

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you must “do it all” to keep everything afloat. But here’s the truth: That’s not sustainable. You don’t have to burn yourself out trying to maintain an illusion of balance.

Instead of struggling to survive this stage of life, there’s a better way?—?one that doesn’t require sacrificing your well-being or the things that matter most.?

It’s accepting the season you’re in?—?full surrender?—?and making progress where and when you can, distilling what truly moves the needle for your family, career, and yourself, and truly letting the rest go.

Here’s how you can make this shift:

Distractions, Distractions, Everywhere

Not every task is a priority?—?and that’s okay. Learn to distinguish between important and urgent, then focus on what drives your family and yourself forward. Let go of the rest (at least temporarily).

Eliminating distractions is the most challenging aspect of prioritization. Finding a balance between work and life is doable; it’s all the other stuff that gets in the way, the seductive distractions, that you don’t actually want to give up?—?and rightfully so.

Who wants just two things? That’s the problem with work-life balance. Life is so much more than the counterpoint to work.

Truth be told, distractions aren’t all bad. They can help you recharge emotionally or escape discomfort for a bit. Just ensure they’re not harmful or entirely contrary to your goals.

For example, I replaced my daily scroll with Duolingo. It still gives me that bright-screen iPad dopamine hit, but it cuts out the negativity and comparison trap; plus, now I’m learning something new while zoning out.?

Try swapping a draining distraction for one that serves you in the long run. Substitute podcasts or music if you love the news but hate the lingering aftertaste. If your go-to escape is food, try meal-prepping dinner, a 5-minute workout, or grounding breathing exercises instead of snacking.

You’re human, after all, and just because you know what matters doesn’t mean you have the discipline or willpower to resist all other shiny objects, so don’t beat yourself up for getting off-track, but don’t let it turn into a major backslide either.?

One of my favorite reminders is, “How you spend your days is how you spend your life.” If you want an amazing life and cool experiences and opportunities, you’ve got to do amazing things instead of wasting your time.

And speaking of time…

Automate, Delegate, Eliminate, or Invest(igate)

If you’re the bottleneck for everything in your life, you’re setting yourself up for exhaustion.?

Suppose your family can’t make decisions or dinner without you. If your team at work can’t plan without your input or act without your authorization, you’re compromising your time.?

The answer is the popular phrase?—?automate, delegate, eliminate?—?which you can largely infer for any situation.

However, two notes about delegation:?

One, it only works if you let others (in your household or workplace) take on tasks and don’t micromanage.?

Two, delegating isn’t just about taking something off your plate; it can be an opportunity for growth.

Some tasks help you or someone else grow, even if they seem inefficient. Think of it as an investment in the future. (That’s what I mean by investigating. I was trying to be cute and make it rhyme.)

For example, teaching your child to cook may not seem like a good idea initially, but it helps them learn life skills and eventually frees up your time. Plus, it’s rewarding. In business, you might outsource tasks, but taking the time to learn them first could make you a better manager or decision-maker later on.

And one more thing about time management:

Accept Imperfection

Balls will inevitably get dropped?—?and that’s okay. Shift your mindset from perfection to progress. Sometimes, “good enough” is exactly what you need to keep moving forward and maintain momentum.

Perfectionism can be paralyzing. Here’s a tip: If something is perfect, you’ve probably missed something. Maybe you’ve spent too much time refining it; now it’s an idea past its time. Or perhaps you’ve alienated others by driving too hard.

Instead of aiming for flawless, aim for meaningful. Ask yourself, “What’s the trade-off here? What does that A+ cost me?” A little messiness or imperfection might add authenticity.

Set Boundaries Like a?Champion

Finally, boundaries are key to thriving through this parenting stage and climbing the corporate ladder. But I’m not talking about learning to say no or picking your battles. I mean the next-level skills of using guardrails with yourself.

The real power comes when you tap into your inner champion?—?the part of you that instinctively knows what to do or not because it believes in your potential and ultimate goals.?

Your inner champion doesn’t choose comfort or conformity; he/she chooses growth, the long game, the hard-fought struggle because you’re in it to win it. And you will.

On the subject of winning…

Thoughts on?Winning

Being a working parent isn’t about winning in the traditional sense. I know I just said your inner champion knows you’ll win, but probably not right now.?

Right now, you’re overwhelmed. So, giving up the idea that there’s a “right” or “best” way is liberating?—?and might even save your life.

It isn’t about accepting defeat. It’s about realizing the game wasn’t designed with working parents in mind. It’s rigged, and it’s not in your favor.?

But here’s the deeper truth: You are the only one who gets to parent your kids how you want.

You’re the only one who gets to draw the line between work and life and create the balance that works for you.?

Remember, the goal isn’t to do it all. It’s to do what matters?—?not what matters to others, but what matters to you, your family, your goals, and your life.

Prioritize the things that move the needle, delegate with intention, embrace the mess, and let your inner champion fiercely guard your energy like it’s a treasure.

Because in the end, you’re not just a parent or an employee?—?you’re the captain of this ship and steering it toward your own definition of success.?

Yes, the mermaids and dolphins are magic, but you are irreplaceable, utterly central to everything. And sometimes, reality is like pancakes: some days, it sounds great, and some days, you don’t have time for that.