Why Time Won’t Heal Betrayal: The Journey From Hurt To Healing
Dr. Debi Silber WBENC Certified WBE
Predictably healing shattered trust/betrayal that’s impacting you and your organization's work/health/relationships. Award winning speaker, bestselling author, founder of The PBT Institute and National Forgiveness Day.
Many people believe that just because a betrayal happened years ago, they should be over it by now. The common saying “time heals all wounds” simply doesn’t apply when it comes to betrayal. Time won’t heal it. Even entering into a new relationship won’t heal it. The only thing that can heal betrayal is a deliberate and intentional process of healing.
At The PBT? (Post Betrayal Transformation?) Institute, we’ve had over 95,000 people take our Post Betrayal Syndrome? quiz to understand the extent to which they’re struggling. The results are eye-opening, showing that many individuals are deeply affected by betrayal, even years after the event. One of the most striking statistics is that 84% of those surveyed report an inability to trust. This one statistic alone highlights the profound impact of unhealed betrayal.
The Ripple Effect Of Betrayal On Trust
Imagine how difficult it must be to navigate life when you can’t trust. For example, if you’ve been betrayed by someone you trusted the most, such as a spouse or family member, it shakes your entire foundation. You begin to question your judgment, thinking, “How did I not see it coming? How did I not know?” This self-doubt can extend into other areas of life.
At work, you might struggle to trust your boss, coworkers, or collaborative partners. How could you when the person closest to you was untrustworthy? This lack of trust can make you hesitant to form strong professional relationships, which can hold you back in your career.
This inability to trust affects all aspects of life—personal, professional, and emotional. You may find yourself keeping people at arm’s length, constantly afraid of being hurt again. You may wonder, “If I trust what this person says, will I be let down again? Will I be betrayed again?”
The Physical And Emotional Symptoms Of Unhealed Betrayal
But betrayal doesn’t just stop at eroding your trust in others. Unhealed betrayal can also manifest physically and emotionally. Common symptoms include:
These symptoms are your body’s way of signaling that there is unresolved pain that needs attention. In fact, if you find yourself struggling with these issues, there’s a good chance that you’re stuck in what we call Stage 3 of the healing process.
The Five Stages Of Healing From Betrayal (Known As The Five Stages From Betrayal To Breakthrough)
One of the reasons so many people remain stuck in the pain of betrayal is that they aren’t aware of the five proven and predictable stages of healing . They might believe that they’ve “moved on” just because time has passed, but in reality, they’re still living in Stage 3. This is the stage where most people get stuck—feeling anxious, mistrustful, and guarded along with physical and emotional symptoms as well.
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But here’s the good news: you can heal. Moving from betrayal to breakthrough involves understanding the five stages of healing and taking deliberate action to move through them. Once you do, you regain your health, sanity, and a sense of peace . You’ll come to realize that even though the betrayal happened to you, it’s not about you. This shift in perspective is just one key to reclaiming your power.
Repeating The Same Patterns: Why The Faces Change, But The Betrayal Remains
One of the more troubling effects of unhealed betrayal is the tendency to repeat the same patterns. The faces may change, but the betrayal remains the same. If you’ve experienced betrayal more than once—whether in romantic relationships, friendships, or work situations—this is a sign that you’re stuck in a cycle that won’t break until you intentionally heal.
This cycle is one of the reasons many people stay in Stage 3 for so long. They may feel like they’re moving forward, but without addressing the core issues, they find themselves in similar situations, dealing with betrayal after betrayal.
Start Your Healing Journey?
If any of this sounds familiar—if you’re struggling to trust, feeling anxious, experiencing physical symptoms, or repeating the same painful patterns—know that you’re not alone. The betrayal isn’t your fault, but healing from it is your responsibility and opportunity.
At The PBT? (Post Betrayal Transformation?) Institute , we offer research based resources, our certified PBT Coaches/Practitioners who teach daily classes in addition to scheduling private sessions with our members, our proven, predictable programs and so much more to help you move through the five stages of healing. Take the first step by exploring the resources available to support your healing.
Betrayal doesn’t have to define your life. You can heal, trust again, and live fully. The key is to be deliberate, intentional, and committed to your own healing journey.
For more information, visit The PBT Institute and start reclaiming your life today.
Dr. Debi-A Trusted Resource in an Untrusting Niche
Dr. Debi Silber,?Founder and CEO of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute ?and??National Forgiveness Day ?is a WBENC-Certified WBE (Women’s Business Enterprise) is an award-winning speaker, bestselling author, holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert. Through a predictable, proven multi-pronged approach, Dr. Debi and?her team of Certified PBT Coaches/Practitioners? help people heal (physically, mentally and emotionally) from the trauma of shattered trust and betrayal.?Get started on your healing here.