Why Telling People to Change Doesn’t Work (And What Actually Does)
Have you ever felt frustrated that as a manager no matter how many times you tell your team to change, they just don’t seem to get it?
As business owner or some on managerial position, there are many ideas that are suggested and even agreed upon in meeting for people to implement. Yet, despite the best efforts, teams often revert to their old habits.
Recently, a business onwer shared his frustration with me.
He said, “Prashanth, can you just do a 4-hour session? I’ve been telling my team the same things you cover in your program, but they just don’t do it. Maybe if they hear it from you, they’ll implement it.”
The reality is that telling isn’t training. Many managers assume that if they just say the right things, people will change.
But real behavior change requires more than verbal instructions—it requires structured learning, application, and reinforcement.
Why Telling Doesn’t Work (And Can Even Backfire!)
The American Society for Training and Development (ASTD) famously ran a conference titled "Telling Ain’t Training." And they were absolutely right.
When you tell someone something, they might intellectually understand what you’re saying, but that doesn’t mean they can actually apply it. Imagine trying to learn how to swim by reading about it or watching a video. Would you feel confident if someone simply explained the strokes and then pushed you into deep water? Probably not.
Yet, many managers do exactly this in meetings, standups, and emails—repeating instructions, hoping for different results. If you’re a manager, ask yourself: is this working?
4 Keys to Turning "Knowing" Into "Doing"
1?? Assess the Current Level
People disengage when they feel they already know something or when they don’t see how it applies to their job. If learning isn’t personalized, it quickly feels like a waste of time. This is why starting with an assessment is crucial. By understanding what your team already knows, where they struggle, and what they actually need, you can get their buy-in and focus on training that truly moves the needle.
2?? Set Clear, Outcome-Driven Expectations
Saying, “We’ll improve your sales skills,” isn’t compelling. People need to know what’s in it for them. Instead of vague promises, be specific:
"You’ll learn how to ask the right questions to uncover client needs." "You’ll master a presentation framework that helps you close deals faster."
When people see a clear connection between what they’re learning and how it will benefit them, they are far more likely to engage and apply what they learn.
3?? Don't Just Tell—Demonstrate!
People need more than just theory. They need to see how concepts work in real-world situations. The best trainers don’t just explain why something matters or what it is—they show how to do it effectively.
For example, if a sales team struggles to get clients to share details, a trainer shouldn’t just tell them to “ask better questions.” Instead, they should:
Seeing a concept in action makes it real, while practicing it builds confidence and competence.
4?? Reinforce & Practice the Skills
Even if someone understands a new skill, can they actually perform it when it matters? Stakeholder Presentations, Sales conversations, negotiations, and client interactions happen in real time. Without practice, people default to their old habits.
Structured role-plays, group interactions, and follow-up sessions are critical for reinforcement. The top 1% of performers constantly refine the basics—asking questions, listening actively, building rapport, and handling objections.
To ensure lasting impact, any interventions must go beyond a one-time event. Regular reinforcement—such as review sessions, peer feedback, and accountability check-ins—helps new skills stick.
Behaviour Change Requires More Than Just Information (telling)
If you want lasting change, stop relying on repeated instructions and start transformation with impact.
Begin by assessing your team’s current skills, setting clear expectations, demonstrating concepts in action, and reinforcing learning through structured practice.
Because telling 100 people at once won’t be as effective as transforming them in small groups and ensuring they actually apply what they learn.
?? Want to upgrade your team's persuasion & communication skills?
Reply "Ethical Persuasion" and I’ll send you a quick case study on how structured program transformed a sales and business team’s performance .