Why talking and being aware are so important

“I think the people who have experienced the greatest sadness, are the ones who always put the hardest effort to make others happy.” Robin Williams

September is Suicide Awareness Month.

It’s a time to highlight the importance of good mental health, but how do we get there?

Time and time again we hear the phrase it’s good to talk, but how many of us do that?

When we put the post out last week about Suicide Awareness Month, we were contacted by Sally who said she wanted to do all she could to help others this month.

Sally plays football at Blackpool Football Therapy Women CIC, with Mhari-Claire our managing director. They are also one of our chosen charities at the Sustainable Group.

Here is Sally‘s story.

Sally married her husband Dave in 2014. They had been together for five years.

In March 2016 Dave committed suicide. He was 27 years old and Sally was 26.

“It was totally unexpected and a huge shock to us all, it was awful,” said Sally.

“Looking back, we should’ve seen the signs, but we didn’t. Was it a cry for help?

“Sadly, will never know. What is clear is that he didn’t feel he could talk to people around him or tell anyone there was a problem.

“Dave showed very few signs, or did he? Should we have seen something? Did his family and friends realise what was up?”

A generation gap is often seen when dealing with mental health.

Can we talk to our parents and grandparents about the way we feel, do we want to talk about it, is it something that you shut away in the locker for a rainy day.

But what happens when that rainy day pours?

“People do need to realise the importance of taking care of themselves but sadly a lot of them – especially men, don’t like to talk."

Sally found herself in a bad way after Dave’s sudden death – and she had to find a way forward.

Sport and exercise were the key to her health and wellbeing, and she credits Blackpool Football Therapy Women CIC, with giving her a pathway.

“I found myself in a very dark place and I realised I had to get out of it,” she added.

“I had to find things to do and football and exercise were the way forward.

“It has helped my overall well-being massively.”

Life has moved on for Sally. She’s got a new partner – Joe - and they have two boys together - the youngest just six weeks old.

She’s getting married later this year – but one thing is clear, she will never forget the past.

“My new partner Joe is so supportive of me, and we talk about Dave and the past as it is and will always be, a big part of me.

“I’d just like to encourage anyone to try and be as open as possible about how they feel and talk to others. And people around them need to be able to understand and recognise the signs.

“Potentially everyone needs to start looking after each other more.

“There are much more resources and teaching platforms now then there were before – but still you can’t force people to go to them.

“People need to work together to raise awareness, and this month is a key time to highlight that.”

Blackpool Football Therapy Women CIC’s mission is to empower women by providing a supportive and inclusive environment through the medium of football.

The primary focus is to enhance women's mental health and well-being while fostering friendships and social connections. To find out more about joining or to attend a training session, visit their Facebook or Instagram page .

If you have been affected by reading this in any way or know someone who may be vulnerable, then here are a couple of numbers and e-mails for support.

Samaritans – Call 116 123 or e-mail [email protected]

SOS Silence of Suicide - Call 0808 115 1505 – 8pm to midnight Monday to Friday, 4pm to midnight Saturday and Sunday or e-mail [email protected]

The interview was carried out by Dave Riche on behalf of Sustainable Talent, whose official charity partner is Blackpool Football Therapy Women CIC.