Why swans have stressful Christmases. And damage their careers.

It's that time of year when people sample and score mince pies (I approve) and avoid Wham!'s Last Christmas (I don't approve. I actively listen to it!).

It's also the time when everyone at work tries to squeeze in the final bits of work they promised (how many PO's were generated just before the accruals deadline?), plus partying, plus organising everything for celebrating holidays at home.

It all runs the risk of being overwhelming, especially if you are the one planning, buying, sorting out who and when and where for all the holiday activities. There's the meme of how 'Dad' is just as delightfully surprised as the kids by the presents he apparently gave them. It's 'funny' because it is true.

If you are someone who sails through all this like a swan, making it look graceful and elegant and easy but paddling FURIOUSLY underneath, then there is a good chance you are doing the same thing at work.

And, like your frustration at home about all the work and effort and the lack of anyone realising how much you are doing, you are probably not being seen or appreciated at work either.

Making your job look easy is not good for your career.

To be honest, making a family Christmas look easy isn't good for your health or relationship or your kids, but that's a slightly different point.

We all want to be recognised and appreciated. It is a human need or hunger.

We would love to be seen and for people to notice what we are doing and what difference it makes. What people see or notice is indeed the outcomes. But what isn't clear or visible (unless we make it so) is the planning, the thought, the ringing round people, the negotiations, the dates and availability juggling, the lists, the budgeting, the purchasing, the preparation, the scheduling.

Yes, I realise the list above could be either workplace or home.

So, if the only visible thing is you gliding along like a swan in calm water, no one knows what you have been battling underneath.

And at work, that means no one sees just what miracles you have performed to keep gliding.

At home, it means you get no help or support. And possibly not enough gratitude or recognition.

So if I shouldn't be a swan...?

You can still be a swan. Just don't be a swan in water. Be a swan on land.

Get the job done. But make it visible where the work is.

Narrate to yourself what you are doing and why as you do your job. You might surprise yourself! And it makes it easier for you then to articulate to people at work what you are doing.

The recognition comes from seeing the difference you make. And the difference your work makes is very probably in preventing things going wrong.

So, if all people see is everything going right, they don't know what you have done.

And it is the same at home.

Make the work of Christmas visible. Explain out loud all the things you have milling round your mind and say to others 'while I do this, please do that'.

Ideally, you wouldn't be the one holding the Christmas reins. But by this point in the year, it's too late to prevent it.

So, be that swan waddling across the grass and get the right amount of recognition, gratitude and SUPPORT that you deserve.