Why Story Is Your Secret to Connecting to Different Generations

I was once asked to speak to a group of high school at-risk students. These were students who had been identified as being at risk of failing, dropping out, or just slipping through the cracks in life. I was not excited about the job. In fact, I was really nervous. It wasn't my message that I was worried about. I had PLENTY of advice stored up over all these years. I wasn't nervous about my job performance. I had already spent YEARS standing on stages all over the country. I knew my lines. I was most nervous about connecting with the audience. Getting them to BELIEVE the one main message I had been sent to deliver - that they could be more than they think. I knew that I was not "one of them" and that meant that they would see me as just another adult - perhaps an adult who had let them down - maybe they saw me as just one more voice telling them what they should do.

When I walked into the room, it was apparent that I had been right to worry, by the simple fact that most of them had not even bothered to lift their heads from their arms. That's right. They had chosen to sleep through my presentation. I stood there for a moment, my hands shaking as I held the note cards with my talking points - the same note cards that would end up sliding to the desk beside me. They were no good. Suddenly I realized in that moment that these kids needed more than good talking points. They needed someone they could believe.

But how? And the answer hit me quickly, because it has always been my answer.

Story.

I cleared my throat and began talking to the three people who seemed to be awake. I told them that I had no idea what it was like to be them. I told them that when I was in school things were incredibly different, and there was no way I would even pretend to give them advice. I told them they had listened to enough lectures in their lives, and I wasn't going to be one more. I told them I was simply going to share my story of what it felt like to be me when I was their age. I told them that I had no idea what high school was like for them, but for me, it was brutal. I talked about how I cried every day. How I did not have one friend. How kids threw things at me on the bus. How I felt completely invisible in my life. And I told them that once I left high school, it was a completely different world. A do-over. A clean slate. I told them about how I made friends who liked hanging around me, and who didn't think I was weird. I told them that if I could look back at my high school self, I would tell her that things were going to be okay one day. I would tell her just to breathe, and wait it out.

Did I get a standing ovation? No. Did I even get clapping? No. I'm not sure how many even heard a word I said. But I did get one thing. A note. Sent to my email later that day. A note with nothing more than, "Thanks for what you said today. It meant a lot."

And you know what? That was one of the most beautiful notes I have ever received. Better than any testimonial. I like to think that my words mattered to that person. And it was enough.

We spend a lot of time and energy putting people through personality profiles, and trying to understand how the different generations think and why they behave the way they do. But no matter how much people change based on the world they grew up in, the human condition doesn't. Emotions are emotions. And by sharing your story and the emotions that went with it, you reach them on a deeply emotional level. When they identify with your emotion, they test drive your message in a very real way.

If you want to connect to people that aren't like you, just consider that they have a story, and that they experience some of the same emotions you do. And that by sharing your experience, you can help them with their own. Even if you don't get a standing ovation. If just one is listening, that is enough.