Why some teams thrive, even in a toxic culture

• The manager isn’t the source of the toxicity
• They recognize that the team won’t be able to perform if they are distracted, stressed, or feel threatened
• They care about their team and they protect them, even if they are suffering themselves

Let’s go a bit more in depth

Contents:

What do we mean by ‘toxic culture’?

Stories of toxic culture:

• Frank’s Story – Broken Promises and Blame
• John’s Story – Volatile Witch Hunter
• Julia’s Story – Working for a Narcissist

How can some teams thrive even in a toxic culture?

What if you are working in a toxic culture right now?

What do we mean by ‘toxic culture’?

A toxic culture is negative and is characterized by behaviours such as discrimination, favouritism, disrespect, and ostracization. It usually stems from one person but often the formation of cliques can turn it into group behaviour. There is always a ring-leader, others will often get caught up and go along with it either consciously or unconsciously. They may be doing this because they are out for personal gain, because they didn’t realize what was happening at first and they were swept up, or because they – rather perversely – enjoy it.

In order to get a deeper understanding of this, I asked my network for some of their stories and experiences of toxic culture. I was shocked by some of the things I heard. I’m sharing these stories but all names have been changed and identifying facts removed to protect the confidentiality of those who shared.

After exploring these stories Julia and I talk a little more about why some teams can thrive despite being trapped within a toxic culture. Perhaps more importantly we will discuss what you can do if you find yourselves in such a position.

Frank’s Story – Broken Promises

Frank was hired into a software company because of his exceptional customer service skills. Throughout the interview process he was wary of the fact that he didn’t know the technicalities around the products he would be supporting. Frank’s hiring manager assured him that detailed training would be fully provided, and that they needed a great customer service professional.

With his concerns addressed Frank accepted the job. He expected either some form of training or at the very least – as an interim measure – to be able to sit with an experienced member of the team for some knowledge transfer.

His first few days at the job saw nothing, no training, no peer support. It was incredibly stressful. Of course Frank wanted to make a good impression, he struggled on and despite asking about the training , it didn’t materialize. He was left alone to deal with angry customers who he didn’t know how to help, it felt as though he had been thrown to the wolves. This seemed to be the norm at this company and he wasn’t the only one.

Frank persevered but became apprehensive about going to work. It was seriously negatively impacting him. In particular his Sunday nights evolved into a nightmare. He would dread Monday morning so much it started to make him physically sick. He decided that he would have to raise the issue, if he was given the training he was promised there would be no problem.

Frank built up an enormous amount of courage in order to raise the issue. His negative work environment had eroded his self-confidence. The result of Frank’s escalation: he was given a few textbooks and told to read them. He fell even more out of favour at this point – doing this actually made the situation worse.

Frank didn’t have time to read these books at work due to his heavy workload, so he took them home. He spent hours reading them but they didn’t help him at all. He blamed himself for not being able to figure this all out.

Frank considered resignation but his home life prevented him from taking the risk of just leaving a job without having something else to go to. By this time he was being regularly berated at work for ‘poor performance’ because he wasn’t able to answer customer questions or resolve their issues properly. He couldn’t see any way out. The treatment he was receiving had undermined his confidence so much that he felt like he wouldn’t even be able to get a job elsewhere and his desperation was so obvious it was hindering him even further.

Needless to say this was permeating every aspect of Frank’s life. He couldn’t sleep, his eating schedule was up the wall. The toxic culture of broken promises and blame was destroying him. Frank felt absolutely useless and like he was being forced out. He told me that while driving home from work one day he wondered whether it would be easier to ‘wrap his car around a tree’ so that he wouldn’t have to go to work the next day.

What Happened?

Luckily Frank did not choose this course of action. He called his doctor and sought help. Ultimately he left the toxic business and has now landed in a workplace with a warm and supportive culture. However, this work environment damaged Frank’s health and he had to go to CBT sessions in order to recover. It has left a lasting negative impact on Frank and his family to this day.

John’s Story – Volatile Witch Hunter

John’s story starts 20 years ago when he joined one of the main employers in his smallish town. It was a coup to get a job there so he was really excited. Soon after joining John realized that his boss was unpredictable and volatile.

He said:

“You know the type, one of those people who causes their team members to hold their breath when they walk in the room – will be a good day or a bad day?”

John noticed that this particular manager, one of the directors of the business, seemed to ‘have it in for’ a particular demographic on the team. The manager didn’t actually treat John as badly as they did the others so while he was feeling the fallout a little he wasn’t being targeted directly.

Over several months the situation worsened. Everyone was uncomfortable, some were completely in fear, and John would also become a target himself on occasion. This was extremely unpleasant and he could only imagine what the others were going through.

Things came to a head one day when the manager stormed into John’s office and accused him of making a complaint. Someone had reported their antics to Human Resources who handled it badly (they admitted that one of the team had made a complaint). John stood up to this confrontation and off the manager went – onto the next person.

What Happened?

A witch hunt ensued, the manager went around the entire team intimidating each person in turn looking for the complainant. John decided enough was enough, he went to the top and made a complaint to the Managing Director.

This time the issue was dealt with properly. Sanctions were put in place immediately while the bullying was investigated. The thorough investigation was conducted with care and attention and the ‘poison’, as John called it, came to an end through removal of all direct reports. Shortly after the investigations and the effective restructure, the manager in question left of their own volition.

Julia’s Story – Working for a Narcissist

Julia’s story was particularly harrowing so I will be purposely keeping the details vague. It took place within an international business renowned for its focus on customer service. The same business that has a workforce who will figuratively sing from the rooftops about what a great place it is to work. That it was even possible for this to happen was quite unbelievable.

A notoriously awkward executive, one who was uncomfortable dealing directly with their direct reports, appointed an associate to bridge the gap. The associate exec was a narcissist. Julia advised me that this person was, amongst other things, self-important, self-centred, and vain, rude, abrasive, and immoral. The entire team environment was toxic. The awkward executive knowingly allowed this situation to develop and did nothing to prevent it.

Julia worked for the narcissist for two years. She was unable to change roles but the details of why will remain confidential. During this time she witnessed, amongst other behaviours, bullying, ‘throwing under the bus’, verbal abuse, persecution, and emotional blackmail. The toxic culture was tough to work in and although it was clear the narcissist didn’t really like Julia, she mostly escaped persecution for approximately one year. However, this is when the run up to a six month onslaught of heavy bullying began.

Julia’s period of hell started with nasty comments and moved on to disrespect and ignoring – for example the narcissist would pick up and use their mobile device whenever Julia was speaking. Eventually progressing onto full on verbal abuse and attempts at causing embarrassment. The narcissist particularly loved to challenge Julia in front of her direct reports with the aim of picking apart her work and humiliating her. Luckily Julia’s team loved her so she wasn’t undermined at all.

What Happened?

Julia was very stressed about the whole situation and felt she could endure it no more. She raised the issue with her partner at home and together they agreed that this had to end. The only way Julia could see out of it was to leave the role. This would have serious consequences for Julia, as she was not in a normal work situation.

The balance of power, unbeknownst to the narcissist had shifted. Julia was now in control because she had made her mind up that she didn’t need to deal with any of this brutal treatment any longer. With this new feeling of empowerment Julia walked into work with her head held high. She put her little personal trinkets into a small box in her top drawer and continued working, her plan was to tell the narcissist it was over as soon as it started that day. That way she could walk back to her desk, grab the box and her bag and leave.

Julia didn’t have to wait long before the narcissist called her into their office and started berating her. She sat patiently and waited for the tirade to finish. The narcissist looked perturbed as though something was different. When the monologue was over Julia confirmed that the narcissist had finished speaking, when the answer came back ‘yes’. Julia simply stated ‘I quit’.

It was at this point that magic happened

The narcissist looked absolutely horrified; clearly it would be a huge issue if Julia was to walk out of the door that day. Julia told me that perversely she rather enjoyed the backtracking and watching the narcissist squirm. A damage limitation exercise was put into place by the narcissist, attempting to do so under the radar of the awkward executive.

In the end Julia didn’t quit, she still works at the organization where this happened. She ended up moving teams, getting promoted and is now enjoying working together with a great boss.

How can some teams thrive in a toxic culture?

Some teams, despite being within a toxic environment still manage to thrive. But how do they do this? It’s down to their leadership, usually their manager, but also this may be someone leading from within.

I interviewed Julia about this as she is a survivor of exactly that situation. She had the highest performing team in the group even though they were fully aware of what was happening around them.

Q: What were your thoughts around managing your team when you were working in a toxic culture?

A: “I was determined – even more determined than I normally am – that I would create an atmosphere allowing my team to be the best they can and perform without distraction. I knew that not only did I need open communication channels, but that I couldn’t avoid the fact that people around us were going through a difficult time. I also knew that if we didn’t perform, then it was more likely we would be targeted.”

Q: How did you establish open communication channels with your team under these circumstances?

A: “The circumstances didn’t impact my ability to open up communication channels with my team as this is naturally what I do anyway. The key part in this situation was that I wanted them to know that it was safe to communicate, that what they were seeing around them was not how I operate. I had to build trust with them as you would in any environment. Once we had that we were good. I would say that we built a very strong bond during that time because we were almost like a little safe enclave.”

Q: Within the team you built an open and safe place for your team, but what about across the wider team?

A: “I was definitely more exposed to what was happening from ‘outside’ but I could not let any of this impact my team. If they had questions about the goings on we would talk about it as a group. This gave me strength and made sure that I didn’t feel isolated. I think this also empowered me to be a more vocal spokesperson for the achievements of my team than usual. Talking about our successes and remaining positive commanded respect in the wider group.”

What if you are working in a toxic culture right now?

I also asked Julia if she had any advice to share and she was happy to oblige.

Q: What advice would you give to someone who is currently suffering through working in a toxic culture?

A: “That’s a great question and to an extent it depends what the situation is. I learned through my own experience, and from talking to many other people who have been through similar things that you can not allow someone to shake your own belief in yourself. If this is happening to you, it’s not your fault and you need to take action before it goes any further. Weigh up your options and don’t allow things that other people have said to you impact your self-worth, or self-confidence.”

In conclusion

Working in a toxic culture sadly seems to be fairly common. If you’re experiencing it then try to recognize that what is happening isn’t your fault. Educate yourself on the help options provided by your business. Many have employee assistance programs which provide confidential advice and a person to speak to anonymously. They can give solid and helpful advice.

Alongside this make sure you think carefully through the options available to you. You may decide that confronting the issue is not something you wish to do. Find someone to confide in and help you think rationally. List out the options and the pros and cons of each. Once you have decided on your chosen approach look for support in those around you as you step forward. Remember you are not alone.

If you're feeling alone and like you need help, contact me.