Why some people will NOT reply your emails, and that’s perfectly fine.

Ok, let’s start this with a few simple questions.

Do you think people replying emails are nicer than those who don’t?

How does it make you feel when you don't get that email back?

Do you think is bad not getting a reply to that email you sent showing interest or admiration for a company or a professional?

The responses that are probably popping in your mind are simple. Yes, I prefer to get an answer because it makes me feel GOOD, yes those replying are nicer for sure. They took the time, they were polite and considered, they respect me, that's a preferred scenario.

But of course there are other elements involved, like your email getting into a “junk” folder and being unnoticed, the person being too busy, or simply not being well organized or good at communicating, what includes you too. Maybe your email is a disaster in the first place?

And yes, then we have those who genuinely don’t give a **** about you, as simple as that.

When I was a student I remember feeling extremely affected by the fact that people would not reply my emails. How could they dare not to? I spent a long time rewriting over and over those important messages, put my heart into it, press the button with butterflies in the stomach to end up waiting, and waiting.

Crazy enough, in this new modern era of communications, people can easily hide behind technology to simply stop communicating. Advanced society, primitive sense of humanity.

But then time passed and while this world turned small after all this modernity changed it, some of those who never replied became, sooner or later, my work college, or a close contact, or even someone I interviewed one day or worked for me. 

Assuming that they ignored you in the first place would be as stupid as giving them a “revenge” treat, even when you clearly acknowledged that they, in fact, saw your message before. You don’t really know what happened back then to come to conclusions or start doing the same thing to others.

In my case, I still believe that people deserves a minimum consideration and respect, specially when they are showing interest to contact us and even when they didn’t reply a previous mail, since we are not aware of their circumstances.

I learnt that everybody, as soon as they are respectful, and they don’t try to push you on buying a service or product (let’s say Viagra), should be attended to some extend, specially if they send you an honest, personal text.

As Creative Director I continuously get companies and individuals offering their services and I do understand why they do it, and if the email is not pure spam, I will reply with, at least, a “no, but thanks”.

But I can’t expect everybody to treat me the same way I treat others, since that was my decision and a reflection of my values.

Sure, trying my best to reply every single email I get from students, colleges or anyone who needs it, it’s time consuming, but it’s never wasted, because it shows consideration and respect to others. No, this doesn’t make me a better person, it’s just make me a person, at least the one I want to be. It means empathy is still working, inside.

If I am too busy, and I simply can’t, I will just say that, and try to respond later. And of course I understand that celebrities are a special case and they can’t simply attend the demand of fans always. But I am not talking of this case here, even when some may see themselves as such.

These days I am expanding my career into the entertainment industry, being my main passion to tell stories and being able to direct them, create the visual craft and learn a lot about concept art, matte painting, XD design, etc. and I see myself like 20 years ago, trying to connect with people, asking for tips, offering collaboration and, of course, not getting replies in many cases.

But this time I see it differently, I believe I am more mature about it and although it has zero effect (ok, maybe 1%) on my confidence, now instead of focusing in those who don’t respond, I prefer to focus in those who do.

Beside the understandable circumstances, in some cases the stress of the modernized times left some putting rather less attention to the others, or being tricked by an ego that betrayed them concluding that they are more than you. “I have more experience or skills”, “I work in a better company”, “what I get replying to this person?”.

If this is why they didn’t reply I rather feel sorry for them than for myself.

In fact, the responsiveness has become a natural way to know who may be good to work with and who may not. And this applies to companies in general too.

For these reasons I believe now that it’s good that someone, let’s say, with a huge ego, doesn’t reply my mail or accept a contact request, if that’s the case. Who wants to work with a diva anyway? Trust me, it’s painful.

Or, ok, let’s say that it’s the lack of time the reason behind the silence. What then?

Someone who simply doesn’t check emails or has not even a moment to say “thanks” when you send appreciation (if that’s the real issue) could be another sign to be alert. Maybe the poor soul is working as a slave, maybe not the best place or person to work with?

And, of course, this doesn’t mean that every person who doesn’t reply has necessary a problem with ego or time. Of course not, what it means is that, if these are the reasons, maybe the best that could happen to you is to be ignored by those. Collaborating or working with them, or even having any kind of feedback exchange can turn out rather frustrating. They don’t have time or interest for you, or both!

With all this in mind, I realized that we probably won’t ever know what happened with those not replying, and so the energy should be spent in those who are responsive and kind. They are the real deal.

In these days, those people are extraordinary, they are who I want to work with, not because they show appreciation only, but because they tend to be, based on my experience, positive, passionate, organized and generous humans in general.

This is the case of some of the amazing people I worked with during my career, those who replied, with kindness, interest and dedication to my first email with introductions.

I fully understand that there are lot of circumstances to be considered and, on the other side, responsive people, are not necessary awesome or super organized individuals, not always. But I prefer to focus my energy and time on them.

What I am trying to say is that, in many cases, instead of feeling crap for not getting a response you should, maybe, and just maybe, feel actually quite happy because it’s quite possible that you have been rather luckier than you may think.

That said, from here my gratitude to all those who replied, and those who didn’t too, ??

Comments and feedback are more than welcome.

Thanks so much for reading, truly appreciated.

Manuel Camino