Why some people are happy, and others aren’t?

I always wonder why some people are happy, and some are not. I often meet people with similar life situations, yet a vast difference in their levels of happiness. Why is happiness elusive for many? At the outset, there doesn’t seem to be any significant difference. But when observed closely, I found several important differences that make people happy.

After working with so many of my clients and people whom I spoke to, I discovered why most people are not happy. This the premise of this article - why aren’t more people live in happiness and prosperity?

10 Reasons why people are not happy:

 1.    You don’t have the intention to be happy.

Surprisingly some people choose not to be happy. Have you come across people who always find ways to be angry, upset and unhappy all the time? People like this have problems in their fundamental attitudes. Unless they change, they can never be happy in life.

How often do you sit down and think consciously about being happy? One primary reason why many people aren’t happy is they don’t have the intention to be happy. Most people think happiness is something that has to come to them from someone or somewhere.

 2.    You don’t love what you are doing

People spend most of their time in their workplace. If you are not loving what you are doing, you are wasting a significant part of life. Your working hours takes up the most vital part of your day and living in total. If you don’t enjoy doing what you are doing, and if you are not having fun in your work, life will never be happy.

Happy and successful people do what they love the most. Somehow, they’ve found a way to align their true passion, their life and career into a single point. When there are unhappiness and negativity in your work, it spills across into all parts of your life.

 3.    You don’t have a deeper emotional bonding

Unhappy people never build emotional connections with their friends and loved ones. Some of my clients don’t want to expose their true self to others have a sense of insecurity within themselves.

You are afraid that if you are emotionally connected, people might take you for granted. You project yourself as “strict officer” with whom people don’t want to make close friendships. You always expect absolute perfection in people. You are very good at finding faults and the mistakes people make.

 4.    You always compare yourself with others

You have the habit of comparing yourself with others. You compare yourself with your siblings, friends, colleagues and neighbours. You probably don’t appreciate the fact that everyone has different circumstances. People start at various points, and so many factors influence their life journey.

 Comparing yourself to others always makes you feel incomplete and inferior. Social media posts that you see don’t show you the complete picture behind the person’s life. The habit of comparing yourself with others will put you in a state of consistent discontent.

 5.    You don’t take ownership and responsibility

You often feel helpless in your life. You think that your life is not in your control and your circumstances drive your life. You always blame others for your problems and challenges. You don’t have a sense of control on what’s happening in your life. You always complain about others and life circumstances. 

 Many people spend all their time in social media or watch Netflix all night. They postpone things and are always procrastinating. They don’t own up the tasks they have to complete and are not responsible. Yet, they believe that outside forces like face, chance and luck control their life.

 6.    You don’t move on in life

You often think and worry about something unpleasant that happened in the past. You hold on to your pains and grudges. You find it quite easy and comfortable to play the role of the victim.

 Life is full of ups and downs. We all encounter both positive and negative experiences daily. People blame their failures and bad experiences for hindering them to their success.

 7.    You are not hale and healthy

 If you are struggling to manage your wellness, where is the chance of being happy in life? You will never be happy if your health problems are interfering with your daily life. When your health issues linger longer, your happiness suffers.

 The biggest obstacle for happiness in many people’s lives is the lack of good health. Studies are proving that joy and optimism has a direct influence on the health and longevity of human beings. So, health and happiness are intimately connected.

 8.    You don’t make enough money

 You believe in the popular myth that says, “money cannot buy happiness”. You are not willing to accept the fact that lack of money brings lots of unhappiness. If you are struggling financially, it will undoubtedly impact you on your mental wellness.

 People take financial wellness for granted as long as they get enough income to run their daily life. Money may not buy you everything in life, but it’s definitely a reason for unhappiness and depression. Often, poor financial health leads to poor mental health and happiness.

 9.    You seek perfection all the time

You and what you do is never going to be good enough. Even the people around you are not going to be good enough. We are all the process of becoming better, and nobody is perfect. If you expect perfection from everyone, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment. You might also become too self-critical, which will kill your happiness.

Most people think that they are perfect and they demand others also to be perfect. In reality, there is nothing called perfection, as it’s subjective. People believe that being perfect makes them better at work or better at parenting. Truth is it’s only from their perspective and not from others.

 10. You don’t have happiness habits

You are continually ignoring what is good for your body, mind and intellect. How many of your habits are helping you in becoming happy and how many are only adding unhappiness. There are many things which are not in your hands, but your habits are in your control.

People clearly know that some of their habits are the route to misery in the long run, but they are still stuck with them. People make choices that drive them into bad habits and destroy their happiness.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Sivakumar Palaniappan is a leading educator and motivator on Mindset Strategies, Leadership Mindset, Change Management, and building Leadership Cultures. Learn more about Siva @ https://www.sivaspeaks.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------