Why Some Career Coaching Clients Hate* Me

*While I love my career coaching clients, some of them might pepper a coaching session by saying “I hate you”—jokingly, of course.

This is because I am paid to call them out on their excuses so that they can get their promotion, job search, or career transition back on track. Often, they are mid- and senior-level leaders who are used to running the show, so it must be a novel (and perhaps even refreshing) experience to be in an environment where their excuses won't be tolerated.

Here are a few of the best excuses I’ve heard--and called out--over the years.

• I don’t have enough time (if I had a dime or 1/1000th of a bitcoin…)
• I’m going through an ugly divorce and don’t have the energy to pursue a job search now (ok, fair enough).
• I don’t have enough experience. The job calls for 15+ years and I only have 12 (imposter syndrome is something most of us have and it can be overcome).
• I don’t have any certifications in my field (but they’ve done their job exceptionally well for decades).
• I’m worried the interview didn’t go well OR I think the recruiter didn’t like me (in the same breath, they tell me they were just invited for a second round).
• I have never had to look for a job online, and I’m worried my networking skills are weak (to repeat: they’ve found all their jobs through their network, so their networking skills are anything but weak).
• I don’t know how to sell myself (and yet during our call they were perfectly articulate in talking about what they’re proud of and their professional passions).
• My [non-American English] accent is thick and I'm worried they won't understand me (meanwhile I’ve understood every word they’ve uttered).
• I can negotiate on behalf of a client or my company, but for the life of me I can’t negotiate for myself (all it takes is a little practice; the skills are already there).

And many, many more excuses--too many to list. The point is, as a career coach my job isn’t always to teach my clients something new (although that does happen); as a coach my job is to elicit the wisdom and skills that are already present, and perhaps sharpen some of the ones that are a bit rusty.

As a coach, I have one job and one job only: to make sure that there is a return on investment for my clients:

If they struggle in landing job interviews, my job is to help them find the right opportunities and network more effectively, so that they start getting traction.

If they land interviews but struggle in securing offers, my job is to tease out what they might be saying (or not saying) that is getting in their way.

If they secure an offer but worry about their first few days on the job, my job is to co-develop a 90-day plan so that they can onboard confidently and make a great initial impression with their team and leadership.

If they jump from miserable job to miserable job, my job then is to help them investigate why they keep making the same decisions, as well as explore other career paths that might be more fulfilling for them.

So, when a client offers up an excuse, I am glad, because it’s usually around the internal obstacle or mental blockage that has been eating away at them for some time, and offers us the opportunity to work on something real and meaningful. And when we start working on those obstacles, and the clients starts seeing results, they stop saying they “hate me” and start telling their friends about what a productive, effective, sometimes transformational (and even, dare I say it, fun) experience working with a career coach can be.

Whether I work with a client for a couple of weeks or several months, I am always deeply grateful for every engagement. If ever I have had the pleasure of collaborating with and serving you, I thank you for the opportunity.

The next time you encounter a friend, family member, or colleague struggling at a job or career that is ill-suited for them, or they like their job just fine but are hitting a ceiling and wish to accelerate their career progress, feel free to send them my way. I’ll be sure to take great care of them--and I promise not to hate them.

Gratefully,

Dawid // The Career Fixer