Why “Societal Respect” is an Illusion!
Anubhav Srivastava
Keynote Speaker and Business Consultant. I Help Companies Improve Profit By Maximizing Employee Performance
Just lose your standing once whether through your fault or factors out of your control and the whole world will begin treating as worthless or pretend you don’t exist.
Any happiness derived out of societal approval is the most temporary and fragile form of happiness.
I have seen it myself in my past that when I was doing well in school, I had "friends" but the moment an authority figure started berated me and made me feel worthless, I became worthless in my so-called friends’ eyes also. So, this so-called friendship and respect is also often status dependant.
However, I have already covered this story from my past in my last book, Unlearn, so I am not going to repeat it.
The point though is any happiness or peace of mind dependent on the love and respect of others is the most fragile form of happiness
Ironically, there was a time, just before the release of my documentary, when thanks to some media coverage and social media algorithms favoring me at the time, I was kind of a minor social media star. So, as a result I also saw the positive side of “Societal Respect.”
I have already explained what happened then. People make you believe you are the greatest living person on earth. But societal respect, at least in terms of a group's perception of you is also greatly fickle.
My father in his job rose to be the Executive Director, equivalent to CEO of the New Delhi branch of a Government of India company. He used to be extremely happy and love the respect he used to get from people.
?Everybody used to run after him and listen to him and it seemed the love was genuine. When he was sick or even if a family member was sick, everybody from the company used to visit him.
Of course, he attributed to the hard work and reputation he built for himself.
The very next day he retired though, the very same people who used to run after him stopped taking his calls and began avoiding him. The drivers who used to be ready to go everywhere, refused to visit on the very next day of retirement.
?A so called "friend" he had made in work, since his early days in the department, a friend who used to appear to be with him through thick and thin, never even called him once in the several years that have passed after retirement.
All of this stuff, this respect, people running after you after your designation, can vanish in an instant, and the problem is not the vanishing, the problem is when your happiness is contingent on external respect, because then depression is certain.
The two primary lessons are:
Even the “winners” of the world were often treated horribly by the same world.
In the 80’s Michael Jackson’s skin color slowly started changing to white. This made people think that he didn't want to be a black person. But the primary reason behind this was that he had a skin disease called 'Vitiligo' which causes the skin to lose its melanin and gives it a bleach-looking effect.
?He underwent various treatments and plastic surgeries to even out this effect and even had to put on a lot of makeup to hide the discoloration.
People accused him and bullied him that he was not proud to be a black person and wanted to be white, but they had no idea about the health problems he was going through.This public criticism had a severe impact on his mental health as well.
His nose slowly started changing its appearance as well. People again thought it was because he wanted to get a sharper, “white nose.” But he stated that the real reason was that while he was performing, he fell and injured his nose very badly. He underwent surgery to repair it. Unfortunately, that surgery was unsuccessful and it made it hard to breathe.
?Because he had not only physical but also psychological problems, he insisted on more and more surgeries that completely ruined the appearance of his nose.
At the age of 25, he had a freak accident where his head caught fire recording the Pepsi commercial. He was left with second-degree burns and bald spots all over his head. So, he had to undergo reconstructive surgery once again
Even with many health issues in his body, he made many successful albums and remained a superstar.
But Michael couldn't feel any luxury and richness as a celebrity because his childhood was not pleasant. He wanted to relive his childhood where he would only have good memories his childhood, so he started a private amusement park called Neverland.
?Neverland was named after a fictional world which had characters like Peter Pan and Tinker Bell. It was a land where people never grew up. Jackson, wanting to relive his childhood, created a private amusement park based on the same themes.
He invited many children and spent time playing alongside them whenever he was free.
At this time the media and people were very cruel towards him. Many accusations were levelled at him saying that he was abusing kids. The media also started treating him as if he was a criminal and court cases were filed on him.
However, despite the hate, Michael Jackson did not lose his kindness.? Whether he was loved or hated, Jackson remained humble and kind-hearted throughout his life, never forgetting the importance of treating others with respect and compassion.
Furthermore, even when the world and media was treating him unfairly, Jackson was a dedicated philanthropist and used his platform to help those in need.
In 2005, Jackson was acquitted of all charges and accusations thrown at him. He never returned to his ranch and started living abroad for a while
A bad childhood, bad health, media trials and personal relationships breaking down broke him completely. He became extremely sad, and was alone, far from the people, and started consuming sleeping tablets and Propofol which is used as anaesthesia.
As he was using it more and more, his health was damaged further.? He slowly became weak and couldn't breathe properly.
On June 25, 2009, the world eventually lost the king. Michael died at the age of barely 50.
Now they portray him as a God.
What’s the point when everyone was so cruel to him when alive?
Society didn’t even spare the greatest pop star of our times, and you expect it to be forever kind to you and I?
What is my ultimate point?
Don't be overly dependent on anyone else for your happiness. Whenever you feel you are too dependent on someone else for your happiness, just shut off everything and sit alone by yourself.
Slowly, if you make this a regular practice, it may take days or it may take weeks or months to realize, but you will realise, at least to a certain degree, being alone isn’t that bad.
In fact, learning to be OKAY with being alone, or at least having a much smaller social circle could be the best thing that could ever happen to you!
This is an excerpt from my brand new Book “How To Cope With A Brutal World and you can read it for FREE.
You can download it for FREE at
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You can also download the First Book of the Series: Unlearn: A Practical Guide to Business & Life for FREE at
anubhav323.gumroad.com/l/unlearnbook?– Enter $0 wherever you are asked to enter a price/give a tip.
Hope you like this book! Do leave a review or email me at [email protected] if you do!
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For Leadership Training/Coaching/Consulting for yourself or for your organization you can also email me at [email protected]. My credentials can be seen at https://anubhavsrivastava.com/about-anubhav