Why is why so important?

I am sure many of you have read Simon Sinek's "Start with Why" or seen his TED Talk on the same subject. 

Starting with why is all about connecting with a purpose.

And when it comes to gathering it is the kick off point. 

According to Priya Parker in "The Art of Gathering", we often default to practice, rather than purpose. Maybe your gathering is one that happens at the same time every year or quarter? It is just what you always do and what you always have done. It’s a habit that just happens. But do you always consider why you are doing it?

Even when we start to consider the purpose of a gathering it is easy to just belt out the first top of mind answer and in my experience that isn't always the real answer. Digging deep into the purpose unearths the reason for gathering. 

I am reminded of a cartoon of a group of people sitting around a table, in a meeting. The caption said "We've finished all the items on the agenda, now let's move to the hidden agenda". (I wish I knew who to credit it to.) This is often the same with the purpose of meetings. Is what seems like the purpose the real purpose? Are you making the most of the opportunity for this gathering? You only get one shot. 

I like to ponder why we are gathering and list out lots of maybes. And ladder up asking the Five Whys. And just as in the cartoon example, the first one usually isn't the real purpose. Recently I have been practicing this around an up and coming birthday celebration Ten years ago the purpose of the party was to thank my family and friends for being in my life. A decade (and several big life challenges) later, this year's celebration is going to be all about the joys of being alive and growing older.

They will be very different gatherings.