Why Is It So Difficult to Change the Way We Think and Work?

David Emerald’s book, “The Power of Ted”, highlights a universal trap that catches all of us at one point or another playing the role of persecutor, victim or rescuer. It happens with our friends, at home and certainly at work. The book is required reading for anyone who wants to understand why they fall into these roles and how to shift out of them. But, making the shift to more productive states is no easy task. 

When we’re firmly entrenched in any of the three roles in Emerald’s “dreaded drama triangle” our position is based on some deeply held belief about our situation. No matter how we’ve come to adopt this belief, it can be exceedingly difficult to let go and re-examine it from an alternative perspective due to our implicit bias for information that reinforces our own experiences, otherwise known as confirmation bias.

Confirming our beliefs requires consistent input that supports our own story. Consistency is universally regarded as a positive human trait because predictable behavior – whether good or bad – makes us feel as though we have more control over our environment than we really do. Predictability helps us make sense of our world. This is one reason we demonize politicians (and other influentials) who take one position only to later reverse course and take another view altogether. Ironically, the ability to absorb new disconfirming information and alter our beliefs and behaviors as a result is a sign of intelligence. It’s a quality we should seek in leadership. But, changing our minds can make us feel and appear inconsistent and unstable, and instability is uncomfortable. After all, “unstable” is a word we use to describe those whose clarity of thought we often consider highly suspect and sometimes dangerous and even threatening.

Even so, we shouldn’t underestimate the power of confirmation bias and its impact on the choices we make. It blinds us to alternative points-of-view and it’s powerful enough to tear apart marriages, dissolve lifelong friendships and even push countries into war. It’s also the reason we surround ourselves with people, places, and things that reinforce and confirm our own closed belief systems, creating an “echo chamber” effect and limiting our growth.

It takes a great deal of energy and self-awareness, not to mention courage, to re-examine our personal beliefs and draw new conclusions, and this is especially true for firmly held long-standing beliefs. Rather than deriding people for shifting their positions after thoughtful deliberation we should commend them for embracing an effort to take on alternative perspectives that may better serve not only themselves but also their environment. A changing mind is often a sign of significant personal and professional development.