Why Small Mistakes Create Our Best Opportunities

The first time I tried to make mango chicken, several scoops of peanuts went flying into the pot, and that was a mistake. What happened next, however, was a blessing. Everyone in our family offered ideas about how to make the dish taste better. We've been fine-tuning our household recipe ever since. By now, mango chicken has become a decade-long staple of family reunions.

What's true in the kitchen is true in the rest of life, too. We all make small mistakes from time to time, but if they're handled properly, they needn't hold us back. Just the opposite. Own up to a minor goof, offer up some ideas about how to mend the situation, and you don't just get things back to even. You create the foundation for a better working relationship.

Dean Stamoulis, a top executive recruiter at Russell Reynolds, once told me that he is especially impressed by CEO candidates who will pause to clarify or correct something they said a few seconds ago. Often the adjustments are so minor there's no reason for the audience to suspect anything was wrong with the first statement. Yet such respect for accuracy actually improves speakers' credibility.

Think, too, about the way we handle being a few minutes late for an important appointment. Do we apologize? Do we shrug? Do we blame traffic, the balky security guard or some other hostile force? The most gracious guests (and hosts) realize right away that mood matters more than facts. They do something special in the first 30 seconds to establish their delight that the meeting has begun and their eagerness to make the most of the time together. One way or another, an awkward beginning turns into the equivalent of a last-minute airline upgrade into first class.

In a recent essay/book review, futurist Ray Kurzweil makes the point that we focus too much on logic -- and too little on our ability to influence others' feelings -- when we talk about human intelligence. The fact is "machines are already ahead of us" when it comes to many forms of logic, he writes. "The superiority of human thinking lies in our ability to express a loving sentiment, to create and appreciate music, to get a joke."

Kurzweil is right about all three of those strengths. Allow me to add a fourth. Our ability to express regret -- and to turn it into the basis for a new closeness -- is something even the most advanced machines can't do yet. In pure-logic realms such as playing chess or go, mechanized brains can beat us silly. Yet in areas where feelings matter -- such as counseling, face-to-face sales, teaching, management and many more -- our greatest advantage may lie in the very personal ways we work through our mistakes.

If you're interested in the uniquely human strengths that can pay off in tomorrow's job markets, take a look at a new book I'm launching on the subject: "You Can Do Anything: The Surprising Power of a Useless Liberal Arts Education." A free preview is at www.georgeandersbooks.com.