Why is Silence Important?

Below was an off-the-cuff WhatsApp response she gave to one of Singapore’s most widely-circulated magazine who asked her for a quote on a feature she’s writing. She now knows that she didn’t scare off the writer with her response because the article will get published in May 2017! Watch this space!

Why is Silence important and why are Singaporeans craving it?

As urbanites, we are constantly surrounded, inundated and even invaded with external sounds/noise. And perhaps we've become misguided that we are 'normal' when we are talking, chatting online, listening to music etc. We feel empty in silence so we fill our lives with sounds which create the illusion of 'company'. I firmly believe that underlying this dependence for sounds (and hence, activities or constant 'doing') is our fear of being alone with ourselves.

When we run from silence, we run from ourselves. Yet we know we can run but we cannot hide forever because we would not be living a life that is ours. It would be one dictated by external stimulations and distractions - that is, we are living someone else's life! So without consciously creating the space for silence, we are denying ourselves the space to reflect, to ask ourselves why we do what we do, why we live how we live.... in other words to connect with ourselves in a way that develops a sense of whole and meaning, that cultivates self awareness and self responsibility. So silence is a source of great strength and therefore helps us become more resilient and empathetic. When we are comfortable with silence, we also become active listeners - we don't just listen to respond. (Side note: Silent and Listen have the same letters.) That transforms our relationships as well. When we become more at ease with who we are and who we are to each other, we come to a place of inner peace. I don't think it's just Singaporeans who crave this. ??

In short, for me, silence is not empty but full of answers.

More follow-up questions 4 days later (yay, I'm getting the magazine’s attention on this topic!) Is Silence helpful to people functioning better at work or in life?

Silence is practically helpful in many ways, at work and in life. One example would be dealing with stress. Most of our work’s and life’s stressors are subjective. The ability to pause, from a regular practice of silence (i.e take deep breaths, see with clarity instead of anxiety), helps us to respond with clam and wisdom instead of react in an impulsive harmful way (e.g fear, anxiety, anger...). So silence can cultivate resilience.

Another example is in problem-solving and innovation. Silence helps to shut out the inner critic/cynic from years of conditioning, allowing a more divergent (‘out-of-the-box’) manner of thinking, therefore allowing us to see new possibilities.

You mentioned that we feel empty in silence so we fill out lives with sounds which creates the illusion of ‘company’. Were we always like that or have we become increasingly terrified of silence? If so, why? How did this happen?

I most definitely don’t think we were always like this! Never in human history have we been exposed to such an artillery of weapons of mass distractions! (LOL). So our sensory organs became more and more accustomed to these external stimulations and this conditioning makes it deeply uncomfortable for us to be with silence. It’s certainly not biological, it’s habitual. Nature grows in silence - trees, flowers, grass..... The natural joy we feel walking in a forest when we give ourselves that opportunity tells us that being silent is very primal, biological.

I also think that we become increasingly disconnected from Nature and silence since the Industrial Revolution when our social worth was tagged to doing, to being useful and productive. And now, it tagged to being ‘busy’. So silence has become the much feared antonym of ‘busy’/worthy.

[Just hit me that I was introduced as a Silence Evangelist by TEDx Singapore when I was nominated as a speaker for the SG50 special. I didn’t become one of the final speakers. But hey, I got a cool salutation!]