Why Self-Care is the Secret Weapon for Growth and Profit for Women in Business

So, it's a bank holiday for us in the UK, and I was having a conversation with someone who asked me if I was doing anything special for the long weekend, and whether I would be 'indulging' myself in some 'hard-earned self-care'

And I knew in that moment that I'd have to put pen to paper to dispel some myths, or at least shed some light on the language we use around self-care. So for today's #SaturdayServing... we are talking self-care, and why it's the most important part of your business strategy and professional toolkit.

So what is it?

So before we get to the myths, let's talk definitions. Because one thing that leads the charge on the misunderstanding of self-care is defining it.

I'll go with this definition from dictionary.com with a caveat

the practice of taking an active role in protecting one's own well-being

And the caveats I place on it highlights some of the challenges around language and concept.

But let's be clear - Self-care IS

• A PRACTICE - it's not an event. It's not a treat (you are not a dog, you don't need dog-biscuits)... it's not one thing that happens occasionally - it's a practice, or it isn't.... these lovely bath pictures are great - but they make it seem like a special occasion, which is fine, but not enough.
• ACTIVE - it's not passive. It's something that you do, not something that happens to you. It's intentional, and something you put time, thought and focus to
• PROTECTIVE - not just in defense after the fact, but proactively long before it's ever about solving problems of dealing with stress
• REFLEXIVE - it's something that YOU do for YOU. Others can help, support, facilitate even. But they cannot do it for you - I know it sounds silly, but the clue is in the (annoying) name - Self care needs to be done by itself.
• ABOUT OUR WELLBEING - which, again like the word suggests - is about being well. Being whole. Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, socially - the whole shebang.

And as for what it looks like - well, we'll come to that at the end with some ideas and suggestions to give you some ideas so support yourself.

What it isn't?

So the reason I even decided to write this today is because of the challenges we still have as women to engage in self-care at all... and the unhelpful language that we have around it. So a quick round up (and hopefully less ragey than I felt at the time)

Self Care is not:

• EARNABLE - you don't earn the right to care for yourself. It is an inalienable entitlement - especially if you are someone who's output is relied upon by others. If you are a mother, wife, business owner, leader, employer, human - than your right to self-care is already earned. We have to stop making it seem like we must earn it like a treat. As it then changes the nature of how we interact with it, and the role we have in our lives. We need to stop confusing treats and holidays as self-care, as they are lovely and exciting, but they cannot be relied on as our only form of self-care, it would not be enough and not sustainable. So no... I wasn't going to engage in some 'hard-earned' self care... because self-care is NEVER hard earned.
• A LUXURY - ever. It's food for the other parts of you. It's essential.
• NEGOTIABLE - for those serious about their best life, the growth of their business or the importance of their input and lives they would have on others. Self-care is non-negotiable for all women with that focus and intention, because they understand the impact and role they have on everything else.
• WHAT SOMEONE ELSE DECIDES FOR YOU - no one can know what will work best for you in the moment, and so self-care for you cannot be dictated to you by someone else. Suggested? Sure. Facilitated? Definitely. But decided? Nah. Not by a long shot. Only you can decide what self-care works for you.
• LONG OR 'STRONG' - There seems to be hierarchies about what 'counts' as self care, and in line with the previous point. It doesn't have to take lots of time, or be big bold moves, or things completely different to what you do
• ABOUT YOUR HAPPINESS - it's not hedonism, nor is it a reason or excuse for excesses or indulgence (Not that you need permission for any of that - but just so you're not conflating unrelated ideas). Self-care is not just about the pursuit of pleasure. Self care isn't only about what feels good - it's about what's good for you. I run (sometimes, and very slowly) as part of my self-care routines... I don't hate it anymore - but I don't do it because it makes me happy. Haagen-Daz and Haribo could replicate that pleasure so much better for me. But that's not what it's about. It's not about happiness, it's about healing, where there was sickness. It's about Wholeness, where there wasn't.

Self Care is different things to different people at different times - but as it has powerful and restorative qualities - I think it should be the most powerful of all the tools you bring to your business.

A few principles...

I'm not an example - or holding up what I do, as what you should do. You're a grown-a*s woman you should do whatever works best for you and helps bring about your healing and wholeness - so I rarely explain in any detail what I do for self-care, because it's not relevant to anyone but me... But the principles I work with have been said to be helpful and so I distill them below and explain a little bit about what they are:

1. First - I take care of me, before I do ANYTHING ELSE... and I mean anything. My day starts with caring for myself... ends with caring for myself, and has a fair few things to help along the way. It's what I do, IN ORDER TO do everything else, not AS A RESULT of it. I start the day with it, and I can say for sure that if I don't, it's a uphill struggle to pull it back.
2. Routine - I practice myself care each day. It's food. Spiritual, emotional, physical food. And since I'm not eating physical food a few times a week, I'm not relying on occasional self care either
3. Holistic - I do things for my body, my mind, my emotions, my vision, my values, my brain. I do a fair few things, but I'm reminded that I need support for all of it. That I cannot take care of my mind, and think that it takes care of my body... it all requires it's own attention and support.
4. Unapologetic - This has been the biggest thing of all... Self-care is lumped in as 'selfish' for so many - because the words start the same. I felt it too - because something for JUST ME wasn't seen as a good use of my time...Well I've seen the light - and spend the time how I need. I take it out of the regular hours (super early mornings for me) so that I can spend the time uninterrupted, and so I can fully benefit from the time with my family.... But I make no apologies for what I need to be at my best. It comes from a place of self acceptance, but I honestly just do what helps me, because it helps me. It's for my family - because I'm a part of my family too.
5. Flexible - It is a routine, and there is structure in that which is incredibly liberating - but it also adapts to my needs, the changes, and how I grow and change as a person. Sometimes its extra sleep. Other times it's saying 'no' to others, so I can say 'yes' to me.

Self care is about you...

So it looks how you want it to look

It might have yoga, running, sitting, eating, meditation. It might involve spending time with others or being all by yourself. It might involve... a whole lot of pleasure, or more be about longer term joys, in spite of the short term pains or discomfort.

Your Secret Weapon in Business

Self Care is what puts you at your peak in each life department, and so in accordance with marginal gains, is the thing that helps you make more of a difference in tiny ways.

Because 'rest is the most important part of the work' for athletes, because of it's healing and restorative properties - Self care IS taking care of you, to help you take care of business

But self-care is family care (you are a member and an important part of your family)

It's taking care of business

It's sharpening the saw

It's the 'sweat you do in practice to ensure you bleed less in war'

It's the revolution by way of revelation

It's the self-leadership that leads to the leading and supporting of others.

It's the action that goes full force on 'impaction'

It's your DUTY as someone interested in service, to your vision, to others, to your purpose.

Because to be of service you must be fit for service.

It's one of the most important parts of your business development and growth. So if it's something you struggle to get right or get regularly or impact fully serving you... then PM me and let's talk. It's the most powerful business strategy you have at your disposal, let's get it put in place to work to your advantage.