Why the Self-Care Narrative is Creating Burnout
Cherie Dorotich
The Corporate Rebel ?? Developing impactful Women Leaders is my thing // ?? Integrative Leadership Development // Creating happy, confident women in + out of the boardroom
Just as the media hammered us with body image narratives to shape the ‘norms’ of our culture to our health detriment, we are now bombarded with a persistent hum about the essentials of self-care as professional and leading women. It's almost like a mantra, echoed in every corporate wellness program and leadership workshop. But here's the rub – this self-care saga is not the panacea it's made out to be. In fact, it might just be leading us down a path to burnout. Let's dissect this, shall we?
The Self-Reliance Mirage
This persistent hum about self-care seems to echo the same old tune. We’re bombarded with well-intentioned advice: “Take time for yourself,” “Start your day with meditation,” “Choose healthier foods,” or “Unwind with a candlelit bath.” Sounds idyllic, doesn’t it? But let's cut through the fluff here.
These strategies, while seemingly beneficial, often translate into “invest more time and energy you can’t spare into solo activities.” It’s like being handed a to-do list disguised as a self-care package. The message is clear: Add more to your already overflowing plate, but make sure you do it alone. This approach not only stretches us thinner but also nudges us further into isolation.
Think about it. After juggling back-to-back meetings, team conflicts, and deadlines, finding an extra hour for a gym session to ‘burn off stress’ isn't just daunting; it's downright unrealistic. And let’s be honest, how relaxing is a mindful meal when your mind’s racing through tomorrow's agenda?
These solo self-care rituals, pitched as the elixir for our leadership woes, miss a crucial point. They don’t address the core issue – the need for genuine, communal support and shared solutions. Instead of relieving pressure, they add an extra layer of solitude and expectation. It's time we shift this narrative and find a path to well-being that doesn’t involve walking alone.
Let's get real: the self-care narrative often masquerades as a solution, telling us to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and handle it all. But this just amplifies the myth that we need to be these infallible, independent leaders. Spoiler alert: it's a setup for a spectacular crash and burn. We're being fed this story that we need to tackle everything solo, but in reality, it’s like juggling knives – risky and unnecessary.
Asking for Help ≠ Weakness
Here's a wild idea, let's start flipping the script by exploring the real driver behind burnout: a profound sense of isolation. This isolation is magnified by the ‘self-care’ narrative, which subtly implies we're on our own, even in our well-being. It whispers that relying on others for care is somehow a failure, intensifying our solitude. It’s a mindset of solitary confinement in a world craving connection.?
Imagine, instead, a concept of being ‘care engaged’ - a radical shift where seeking and receiving support from others is our shield against burnout. This isn’t just about delegating tasks; it’s about nurturing a sense of community, where leaders are encouraged and celebrated for reaching out. It's about dismantling the taboo of seeking help, reframing it as a courageous and strategic move.?
In this new paradigm, leaning on others isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a badge of wisdom. It’s about recognising that we’re part of an interdependent network, where giving and receiving care is reciprocal, not a one-way street of self-imposed isolation. ‘Care engaged’ is about fostering an environment where asking for support is normalized, where leaders can unashamedly tap into a collective resource of care, comfort, and collaboration. This approach not only reduces the stigma around seeking help but also strengthens our sense of belonging, reminding us that leadership is not a lone journey, but a shared expedition.
Redefining Care: A Collective Approach
The whole idea of self-care subtly suggests that no one else is going to have our backs. It's time to toss this belief into the bin. What we need is a shift towards collective care – a system where seeking and accepting help is normalised, not stigmatised. This isn't just about preventing burnout; it's about creating a healthier, more supportive leadership culture.
Embracing a ‘care engaged’ approached means we revolutionise how we tackle burnout. It's about weaving indulgence into our hectic schedules, not as solitary retreats, but as opportunities for connection and care from others. How about this for a start: transform your office into an oasis of relaxation with a personal yoga instructor guiding you through a lunchtime session? It's about movement and mindfulness right where you are, under the guidance of someone dedicated to your well-being.
Consider this, too: groups that gather for lunch, not just to eat but to engage in meaningful, stress-releasing conversations. These communal meals become more than just a break; they’re a chance to debrief, connect, and collectively exhale the pressures of the day.
Regular therapeutic mentoring is another powerful tool. Imagine having a space where you can offload stress, gain insights, and feel nurtured by another human being who's there just for you. It's about creating a safe harbor where your concerns are not only heard but also held with care.
Learn to articulate your needs clearly and confidently. Knowing how to express what you need, when you need it, without self-shame, is a game-changer. This skill allows us to receive the support we crave without the baggage of guilt.
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Then there’s the simple joy of reading. Dive into a book, but don’t stop there. Share it with others, discuss it, and turn it into a shared journey of discovery. And why not have a masseur come to your home mid-day? Invite in the healing power of touch, unapologetically, because you deserve that level of care.
This ‘care engaged’ approach is a clarion call to unabashedly invite others into our self-care space, letting them contribute to our wellness journey. It’s a strategy that acknowledges our needs and actively seeks to fulfill them through the support and care of those around us. It’s not just about preventing burnout; it’s about redefining the very essence of leadership and well-being in a collaborative, nurturing way.? We need to break down this silly notion that doing it all on our own is somehow noble. It's not – it's unsustainable and isolating.
Investing in Mutual Care
Imagine a world where leaders openly ask for support and invest in themselves by allowing others to invest in their care. That's the world we should be striving for. Leaders who embrace this approach aren't just dodging burnout; they're setting a new standard for what effective, empathetic leadership looks like.
Investing in being ‘care engaged’ – yes, it means shelling out time and money, but let’s be savvy about it. We’re not talking about another chore on the to-do list or burning cash on fancy but futile self-help gimmicks. This is about smart investment: getting care that slots into our jam-packed schedules, right where we are. Who has the time to zip across town for a massage or yoga class? Bring that zen to your doorstep, or better yet, to your office.
Let’s talk bang for your buck. Spending on 'being ‘care engaged’ is like putting your money where your energy is. You’re not just buying a service; you’re investing in your own recharge session. It’s about making every penny count towards lifting your spirits and rekindling your fire.
Here's the real deal – the ultimate self-care is not really 'self'-care. It’s crafting a robust system of being ‘care engaged’, tailored to fit seamlessly into your life, replenishing your energy without draining your reserves. This isn’t just self-preservation; it’s self-expansion, a strategic move to keep you fired up and ready to conquer without the burnout. Time to get others on your care payroll, and watch as your investment pays off in renewed vigor and resilience. That’s not just self-care; that’s smart leadership.
Cultivating Collaborative Living
As we reach the crescendo of our discussion on the fallacies of the self-care narrative, it’s clear that the key to real change lies in being ‘care engaged’ – a concept with the potential to trigger a transformative ripple effect through our global community. This shift towards inviting new, creative collaborations and healing modalities into our corporate realms isn't just a luxury; it’s a necessity for our impactful presence in the world.
By becoming ‘care engaged’, we're not just combating our own burnout; we're strengthening the value and recognition of caring and healing professions in our society. This approach goes beyond the often hollow corporate jargon about well-being, and puts genuine, effective practices into action. It’s a dynamic movement from mere talk to tangible action, enriching the very fabric of our corporate culture with authentic well being initiatives.
Investing in these services means more than just personal gain; it's about fostering a culture where the skills of healing and helping are not just appreciated, but deemed essential. It’s an investment that pays dividends in reducing our sense of isolation and elevating the status of care giving professions.?
In essence, by advocating for a ‘care engaged’ approach, we’re seeding a collaborative community ethos. One that doesn’t just prevent burnout but promotes a holistic sense of health and well being. It’s a collective collaboration that infuses genuine care into every aspect of our community, cultivating a richer, more nurturing corporate culture. This is how we truly embed well being into the heart of corporate life – not as an afterthought, but as a foundational pillar.
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7 个月Interesting insights! Prioritizing 'Care Engagement' over 'Self-care' shifts perspectives positively. Cherie Dorotich (MAAPi)