Why Self-Care Isn't Selfish

Why Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

(And 50 Budget-friendly Ways to Be Good to Yourself)

Yeah I know. You don’t have time. You’ve got too many responsibilities, too many people relying on you.

You’re wrong. You do have time to take care of yourself and you can’t afford not to.  (link to “Six Ways to Use Time Intentionally) You always have time for what’s important. So, if you’re not making time to care for yourself, what does that tell you?

It might be telling you that you’re making other people, other things, more important.

It might be telling you that you’re relying on others to take care of you, instead of being responsible for yourself. It might be telling you that you think self-care is selfish.

Do you?

Being a woman often means being a caretaker and nurturer. That means a lot of selfless giving.

But when you give and give of yourself—endlessly—something happens over time.

You get tired!

Self-care is preventative medicine—for your heart, mind and body

Women juggle many roles and responsibilities these days—careers, marriage, motherhood, overseeing the home, responsibilities for elderly parents. It can be both rewarding and exhausting. Over time it drains you of energy—mentally, emotionally and physically. It becomes necessary, then, to replenish yourself. After all, if you’re not healthy then how can you give your best to others? How can you model healthy behaviors?

Taking care of yourself is not a job for others and it can’t be something you fit into the crevices of your day. If that’s what you’re doing, then what’s already begun to happen? Are you feeling burned out? Exhausted? Overwhelmed? Irritable? Discouraged? Numb? Are you just living on autopilot, getting through the busyness of the day, your wheels spinning but not gaining much traction?

That’s what happens. Your brain, body, sense of self and family take a dive when you don't take time to attend to your health. That’s why self-care is not selfish, it's selfless. It’s selfless because your loved ones need you to take care of yourself.

Self-care is an intentional and powerful choice to be your healthiest—spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically —for your sake and others

Just think about all the benefits when you do practice self-care:

·        Increased energy

·        Improved decision-making

·        Greater self-confidence

·        Healthier boundaries

·        Healthier relationships

·        Greater life/work balance

·        Improved immunity to diseases  (because it activates the parasympathetic nervous system which puts the body into rest and restore mode)

·        Increased compassion towards others (when we are patient with our own flaws and inadequacies we view others’ differently)

·        Increased positive thinking

·        Lowered susceptibility to stress, depression and anxiety

·        Increased peace of mind

·        Improved caregiving

·        Increased mental sharpness

·        Increased ability to relax

·        Increased productivity (when you slow down, you can reflect, re-center on God and re-prioritize)

·        Increased intentionality (you are able to get clarity about who you are, what your purpose is)

You aren’t really healthy unless you’re healthy all over

In previous blogs I’ve talked about the pyramid of relationships. (link to “The Two Most Important Relationships…”) The same can be said for your health. The most important aspect of your overall wellbeing is your spiritual health. (link to “Six Reasons Why You Need God”) That’s because being spiritually healthy means putting your relationship with God at the top of your priorities. When God is first, everything else in your life improves.  So, part of your self-care is taking time out to be with God, and reflecting on the deeper, weightier matters of life, like:

Do you have purpose for living?

 Are the choices you make each day moving you towards that purpose?

Do you believe in God and have a close, intimate friendship with Him?

Do you talk with God and listen to Him through His word, daily?

Do you spend time each day reflecting on the blessings in your life, and giving thanks to God for them?

Do you meditate on God’s word daily?

Do you spend time with encouraging, inspiring people who believe as you do, and who remind you of your purpose in life?

Your mental health has to do with what you think, how you perceive the world around you, the meaning you attach to situations and your attitude in general. If your primary focus is negative, towards yourself and/or others, then it can be said that your mental health is poor, which makes you susceptible to emotionally-based illnesses and other diseases. Your mental health is, of course, affected by your spiritual health. If you don’t have any hope for a future beyond this life—if you have no purpose or meaning for your existence—then what’s the point?

Being mentally healthy also means keeping your mind sharp and active. Consider the following:

Do you spend time reflecting on your day, how you want it to go, or how it went?

Do you engage in activities that keep your brain sharp and active?

Do you manage your thoughts so that they reflect and support positive, encouraging outcomes?

Do you deal with negative situations and people and then move on, without letting them hold you down?

Are you careful to protect your mind from dangerous or damaging information, situations or material?

Are you constantly learning and improving your mind in various ways?

Your emotional health is closely connected to your mental health because you feel based on how you think. Negative thoughts breed negative emotions. Positive thoughts breed positive emotions. Sounds simple perhaps, and in theory it is. But the reality of managing your thoughts so that you can control your feelings is a difficult, ongoing process. Sometimes we can get stuck in deep ruts of our own making, because we only see a situation from one perspective. Talking out our situation with someone else—a friend, a relative, a minister, a therapist or coach—might be necessary for climbing out of that hole we’ve dug ourselves into. Consider these questions as you evaluate just how emotionally healthy you are:

Do you keep your emotions in control, instead of letting them control you?

Do you use your emotions as a guide to address areas of your life that need work?

Do you recognize that your emotional health is closely associated with your physical well-being?

Are you able to identify root causes of damaging emotions, such as anger, resentment and bitterness, and deal with them decisively?

Are you careful to nurture emotions that support your desire for a satisfying, purposeful life?

Finally, let’s take a look at your physical health. Being physically healthy is about both your body and your environment. It’s about respecting yourself, and those around you, to engage in safe practices, keep your home and surroundings free of clutter and create a space that is conducive for overall wellbeing. Ask yourself:

Do you engage in activities that keep your body active and healthy 3-5x every week?

Do you care about what you eat, because you know it affects your overall health?

Do you balance work with recreation, so that your mind and body have time to rest?

Do you get enough quality sleep?

Is your home a place that feels safe and relaxing? Is it clean and clutter free?

Have you identified your talents and gifts and are you actively engaged in using them to benefit yourself and others?

Have you cultivated a network of supportive, loving relationships with others?

Do you have a healthy, balanced approach to money, and use it as a tool, rather than a way to fill a void in your life?

Self-care isn’t self-indulgence

Self-care isn’t always easy or fun. Doing the right things for yourself requires diligence and  

perseverance. You do those things because you have a big picture perspective. Self-indulgence,

on the other hand, is about feeling good in the moment. It may be easier, but it can unbalance

you quickly.

Finally, self-care doesn’t have to take up huge blocks of time, nor does it have to be expensive.

Here are 50 budget-friendly ways to be good to yourself that cover all areas of your health and

wellbeing:

Spiritual

1.     Tell God about your day

2.     Take time to meditate/reflect/ponder God’s word and His purpose for you (link to 6 keys to unlocking God’s purpose…”)

3.      Think about those you know who are struggling and talk to God about them

4.     Do something thoughtful for someone else

5.     Participate in a guided bible study, alone or with others

6.     Find 5 things each day to give thanks to God about

7.     Play a bible game with family members

8.     Watch a movie about a bible character with a friend or family, then discuss it. Was it accurate or not?

9.     Read a passage in the bible then write your thoughts about it in a prayer journal

10. Do a topical study in the Bible about a subject you want to know more about

11. Fast—abstaining from food for a period of time sharpens your focus on God and helps you realize how important He is to you

12. Go to church—you need the fellowship of like-minded people

Mental

13. Get quiet every day. Work your way up to 30 or more minutes at a time

14. Play a game that enhances memory or requires strategy

15. Turn the electronics off for an hour every day

16. Track your thinking—how much is negative? How much is about things out of your control?

17. Don’t rely on social media for your main contact with others

18. Read something educational that teaches you a new skill or concept

19. Create or reconnect with your routine

20. Take a class

21. Make a “No” list (things you need to say no to that are harming/distracting/zapping you)

22. Reflect daily in a journal

23. Create something—anything

Emotional

24. Create a “worry” box. Write out all the things you’re currently stressing about on slips of paper, then put them in the box and put it on a shelf. One time each day, allow yourself time to read the things you’re worried about and why. Then put them back in the box until the next day. If something no longer becomes a worry, throw it away.

25. Deep breathing and progressive relaxation. Find a self-guided script and record yourself reading it. Then, find a quiet, dark place to lie down and play it back.

26. Laugh more—read or watch something funny, spend time with joyful people

27. Start dealing with your feelings instead of avoiding them

28. Listen to calm/soothing music

29. Research how to increase your emotional intelligence

30. Give thanks to others in writing—a handwritten note, card or letter

31. Practice self-soothing techniques for decreasing anxiety and stress

32. Get a whiff of your favorite scent or essential oil

33. Be charitable. It feels great to help someone in need and it’s the right thing to do

Physical

34. Eat green

35. Take a mini-vacation

36. Turn on some music and dance

37. Go for a hike

38. Stretch

39. Trade massages with a friend

40. Go for a walk

41. Get some sun

42. Take a short nap

43. Read a book

44. Drink something soothing/refreshing

45. Stay hydrated

46. De-clutter your space

47. Volunteer

48. Sit up straight

49. Take a bubble bath

50. Play a game that helps your learn money management and investing strategies

What are your favorite types of self-care? There are a lot of ways to be good to yourself. And a lot of good reasons for doing so. So what are you waiting for?

Sources:

https://botanicahealth.com/blog/5-benefits-self-care/