Why self-acceptance is an important step to success

Some time ago, I was listening to BBC Radio 4 Woman’s Hour and heard how 15 year-old Immy had contacted the programme saying she was starting an online campaign to help girls and women to celebrate their bodies, rather than to always find fault with themselves. Immy was appalled by her own lack of self-esteem due to her thoughts on her body image and the idea that the media perpetuates the myth that to feel a success, we need to look perfect and the implication that females should all be preoccupied with how to gain the ideal physique and glamorous appearance.

This inspirational young campaigner began raising awareness via social media, hoping to catch the attention of girls and young women before they got too hung up on their body image. Her campaign could be seen across all social media platforms and her efforts and enthusiasm to raise awareness were to be applauded.

I have ten grandchildren and I worry about all of them - what they see and hear in the media and social media that might lead them to question themselves.

Immy urged young girls and women to celebrate the things they love about themselves and asked them to post #ILOVEMY followed by, for example, ‘sleek hair’, ‘cute dimple’, ‘powerful arms’ and so on; her aim was for young people to find at least one thing about themselves that they love.

This is of course applicable to all age groups and as well as physical attributes, it could and should be extended to personal qualities that individuals can appreciate about themselves. Maybe you’re brilliant at organising or maybe you’re a fantastic facilitator at meetings and enable people to network; it’s all part of you being brilliant and should be celebrated.

As Immy said, as a nation, it is frowned upon to ‘big ourselves up’. We would far rather self-deprecate than accept a compliment or dare I say it, say how pleased we are about something we’ve done that day or, following a compliment reply with: “Thank you so much. I do feel pretty good today actually.” My goodness me, that’s tantamount to a social faux pas to actually appreciate yourself!

I remember when I once stayed in a UK hotel, hearing a fantastic reply to a fairly standard, customary and polite question that was asked by a member of hotel staff to an American guest. ?As the guest was completing the check-in procedure, he was asked: ‘And how are you today Sir?” His answer was unexpected but priceless nonetheless: “I’m awesome thanks!” Now why don’t we all answer that way if we’re having a great day?!

It’s such a shame that in general, we seem unable to celebrate the good things about ourselves, be it publicly or privately. We can appreciate our finer points with humility – we are merely celebrating the great things about us as an individual.

To be able to like ourselves, to be able to recognise our finest attributes, means our self-worth increases and when our self-worth is in a great place, we believe we are worthy of achieving great things. We create the opportunities, and we grab them.

Maybe tonight, whilst you’re cleaning your teeth (maybe you love your teeth!), look in the mirror and have a think about what you really love about yourself – be it a physical aspect or a personality trait. The next step, (once you’ve finished cleaning your teeth!) is to say it out loud. It may feel weird at first but it will do no end to help boost your self-esteem. Repeat daily. The next step of course, is to accept a compliment graciously… go on, you know you can do it!

“Loving yourself…does not mean being self-absorbed or narcissistic, or disregarding others. Rather it means welcoming yourself as the most honoured guest in your own heart, a guest worthy of respect, a lovable companion.” Margo Anand

As a footnote, have a watch and listen to the multi-generational TEDx talk my granddaughter, daughter and I gave on the subject of feeling worthy of happiness. It really is food for thought on how to improve your self-esteem.