This Is Why Rough Roads Are Crucial In Your Life | Jennifer Magley

Huffing. Puffing. Straining under the heavy load of flesh, gravity was not my friend as I put one foot in front of the other trying to run.

With my first full term baby I had overachieved and gained nearly 60 pounds. With the second baby emerging from my slip and slide of life (after only gaining 50 pounds) I went from being pregnant to overweight…overnight. Without a doubt becoming a mother is my single greatest blessing. It was and is a journey filled with unexpected turns, glorious highs, and even a few medical miracles. That said, all I could think about was how my body was jiggling and joints were crying as I gained speed.

On this fateful day I was feeling good. So good in fact that I’d asked my sister to join me. She talked continuously while we ran and I marveled at how she was able to keep pace.

“How are you talking and running like this?” I asked gasping for breath.

“We aren’t running Jennifer.” She said confused.

In my mind we were sprinting but in reality, barely walking. I was devastated.

My ego, an ever-present voice in my head dug her talons in: How could you let this happen again? Victoria Secret models are walking the runway 5 weeks post baby and you can’t even walk around the block. Nobody wants you, you can’t even stand to look at your bloated shriveled body. Pathetic.

I exhaled deeply shaking my head, “Are you serious? Are we really walking?”

Realizing my embarrassment she recovered quickly exaggerating her arm swings to make it look like we were going faster. I stopped, bending over to catch my breath.

“Does it even matter? You are doing it.” she said gently as I stealthily wiped tears from my eyes, “Just...keep...going.”

It is an injustice to say it takes time getting “it” back post baby. In truth, whatever “it” was would never quite return with old woman confidence taking its place.

Giving birth, while a “natural thing” is also “naturally traumatic” for both mama and baby. Imagine an entity moving into your body for 40 weeks (give or take), remodeling your organs, kicking and sucking every bit of nutrition out of you, and never paying rent.

Often mother and child hold each other wailing in synchronized shock as though to say, “ we know, only we know.”

Crying aside, weeks later I made a fateful decision to extend my run, this time pushing a stroller in front. As I turned the corner I saw this yellow sign and stopped:

“Rough Road Ahead.”

I had never seen it before in my neighborhood. I was mesmerized by its prophetic announcement. Indiana is not known for its mountainous terrain and such a sign in front of a flat road furthered my fixation. A few potholes could be seen but beyond that the road looked manageable.

There are people in life that welcome challenges and sacrifice with open arms. These are the special heroes that take on the ugly of this world. They give the ultimate sacrifice, run into burning buildings, and flush toilets from the previous person in public bathrooms. I do not count myself in this group of elite givers and yet in this moment the sign beckoned me to step up.

The amazing thing about this sign is that it did not say stop or slow down only what was ahead. It was my reaction to the sign, not what the sign told me that caused me to pause.

What if all of life’s events came with signs alerting us to the difficulty ahead? Not one car stopped or changed course because of this sign. Every single car lurched forward undeterred with minimum expectation of inconvenience. 

Pushing forward I continued slapping one foot on the pavement at a time trying not to trip on the stroller. A moment before a moment is not always memorable but in my bones I knew it was an ominous sign. The rough road sign would come to mind as my life changed forever in the months to follow. When everything I knew was thrown into a cave of pain and then obliterated by a truth bomb I’d think back to that sign. This road has been more than rough and has taken years to navigate. 

I know what it feels like to hate your body, to be broke, and broken.

I know what it is like to be so choked by anxiety that breathing seems impossible.

I know how hard it is to forgive the grief they’ve caused and how hard it can be to trust yourself again.

Sometimes life becomes a movie you entered 20 minutes late and you just don’t know what is going on.

We do not need to know what is next to take a step forward. Don’t stop. Keep going. Brace for impact on this road of life knowing in advance that it will be painful and that endurance will cost you everything. It takes time to heal, to recover, to transform the body, and there are some things that can never be the same or grow back. 

As a survivor of many a humiliation and failure I know these things to be true: You will make it through when you put one foot in front of the other. You are unstoppable as long as you are alive. You are not alone.

A rough road is still a road and it’s yours to take.

Jennifer Magley is a former professional athlete, speaker, author, and high performance coach. Article originally appeared on www.magleyjennifer.com/blog More information can be found at www.magleyjennifer.com and videos on YouTube.

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