WHY RESOLUTIONS DON’T STICK AND HOW TO FIX IT

Happy New Year! At this time of year, many people make resolutions. But why don’t these resolutions stick? Why is it that we start off excited, motivated, and determined, saying, “This is it! This is the year that... [fill in the blank],” only to find that by February, March, or April, the resolution has faded into the background? We forget about it, cheat a few times, or give up entirely. What went wrong? Watch the video or continue reading.

The reason resolutions don’t stick is that many people miss a critical step in the process. Let’s explore this idea using the analogy of a kitchen renovation.

Step 1: Plan Your Vision

Imagine you want to renovate your kitchen. The first step is to create a folder filled with samples—cupboards, countertops, backsplashes, hardwood floors, and paint colors. You carefully gather all the elements you want in your dream kitchen. Similarly, when people set resolutions, they often create detailed plans and vision boards, listing everything they want to achieve. They make their goals specific, measurable, and time-bound. This is an important step, and most people handle it well.

Step 2: Gut out the Old Kitchen

Here’s where things start to go wrong. The folder of samples is not a kitchen; it’s just a plan. You can’t cook or host a dinner party in a folder. To make the renovation a reality, you need to remove the old kitchen first. You can’t install new cupboards over the old ones or place a new island on top of the existing one. Similarly, when working toward a goal, you need to clear out what’s in the way before adding something new.

This is the step most people skip. Instead, they jump straight to trying to implement the new habit or behavior (Step 3) without addressing what’s holding them back. This oversight is why resolutions often fail.

Step 3: Install the New Kitchen

After removing the old kitchen, you can begin installing the new one. In the context of resolutions, this means implementing and actualizing the new habits or behaviors into your life. However, skipping Step 2 makes this process nearly impossible.

Addressing What’s in the Way

Before you move forward, ask yourself what might get in the way of achieving your goal. Identify and clear out any limiting beliefs, negative self-talk, or emotional barriers such as anger, fear, or frustration. Consider external obstacles as well, such as your environment, behaviors, skills, or values that may need to be adjusted. For example:

·?????? If you want to enjoy your job but feel frustrated with a coworker, resolve that frustration first.

·?????? If you want to improve your finances but believe you’re a shopaholic, address that limiting belief.

·?????? If you want to be healthier but think you have a sweet tooth, work on reframing that mindset.

By identifying and addressing these obstacles, you effectively “gut out the old kitchen” and create space for the new habits to take root.

When setting resolutions, don’t just make a list of what you want. Create a second list identifying what might stand in your way. Focus on clearing those barriers first. Once you’ve done that, you’ll be ready to implement and maintain your new habits, making your resolutions stick.

So this year, don’t skip Step 2. Take the time to prepare properly, and watch how much more successful you’ll be in achieving your goals! And of course, if you need help with Step 2, THAT’S exactly what I do. Let’s chat!