Why Are Relationships So Tough?

We cover a broad range of subjects related to health, fulfilment, happiness and success and relationships are an integral part of our lives. So, let's take a closer look at this essential ingredient in the formula for happiness and wellbeing.

If we're honest, we’re all looking for that perfect relationship that helps us to feel fulfilled, aren’t we? So, why is it so difficult to make our closest relationships work? Why do we often feel insecure, misunderstood or disappointed in the darker corners of our private lives? The answer might surprise you and it means we’re going to have to explore a very sensitive subject – but here goes.

The problem is that we confuse love with what is familiar. Let me explain. Yes, we all want to express our love and to feel loved and appreciated. But our ideas of what love might be are based on the examples we experienced during our early childhood years. This is where we acquired a familiar sense of how a relationship works. And then we follow these familiar patterns when we seek a suitable partner to share our lives with, confusing what is familiar with the deeper and more powerful concept that is love. We call it love and sincerely believe we’ve found love. But, in reality, we’re just repeating familiar patterns from our earliest memories. That’s why we often choose the least appropriate people to share our hopes and dreams, our days and nights. It’s a perfect recipe for compromise, unhappiness, resentment, frustration and disappointment.

We would be wiser to seek someone who doesn’t fall into the old, familiar patterns that were formed during our highly-impressionable childhood years. We would benefit from a closer exploration of the meaning of love and a deeper understanding of who we are and what we really need in a relationship. That requires a degree of introspection and self-awareness. That requires the presence of mind to pause in mid-flight as we launch ourselves into our next passion-fueled encounter. A quiet step back to consider what we’re doing and perhaps reflect on why we’re following a particular romantic course.

It isn’t always a comfortable exercise but it’s an essential ingredient in the quest for growth, understanding and a much greater chance of finding a relationship that is based on love rather than on what’s familiar.

If you’d like to explore this fascinating subject further, feel free to get in touch. I’d always love to hear from you.

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