4 Career Lessons I learned too late

“Being ambitious is not the same as being in a hurry. I wish I had learned this lesson earlier in my career.” – a friend said to me.

“What is the difference I asked him?”

“I was ambitious but I didn’t focus on the path I need to take to get there.” – he said.

“Of course my personal life suffered. I took a few shortcuts I shouldn’t have.” – he went on to say.

It resonated with me. I have learned that successful people are willing to sacrifice, to delay immediate gratification, to enjoy the greater rewards of the long term. But the conversation did get me thinking on career lessons that I learned too late:

1.   Purpose Trumps Passion: When I had my first career counselling session in school – I remember being told “figure out your passion and then pursue it”. In the early years of my career, I was again told “find a role that fulfills your passions and you will never have to work another day in your life”. Passion is important but it took me a while to realize that there is a difference between finding your ‘passion’ and finding your ‘purpose’. Purely by dictionary definition; passion is “a very powerful feeling” and “a strong and barely controllable emotion’’. Purpose, however, is defined as “the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.” In life or at work; I have learned that passion can have a shelf life; it can wear out. Purpose, on the other hand, is more resilient and steadfast. Passion can be unrestrained, but purpose is focused. Passion is what; purpose is why. Now when I evaluate a job/ role; I focus on whether it is aligned to my purpose at work. 

So even if you are in the early stages of your career; follow your passion but also start thinking about your purpose. If you are lucky, there will be a sweet spot where your passion and purpose connect. For me and I could be wrong, purpose trumps passion - every single time.

2.   Work is only one part of our identity: For many of us, work is the primary source of our identity and determines our self – esteem. It starts early in our lives when we are asked “what do you want to do when you grow up?” and not “who do you want to be?”. Work is an integral part of our lives and that is fine till the time that something goes wrong with our work life. Then we can end up being devastated and feeling that everything is crashing around us. Separating work from who we are can be very empowering, opening up possibilities and can actually help us become better professionals and leaders.

I read an article by David Brooks in NY Times which calls out the difference between resume and eulogy virtues. He says “The résumé virtues are the skills you bring to the marketplace. The eulogy virtues are the ones that are talked about at your funeral — whether you were kind, brave, honest or faithful.” It is an important distinction that we lose sight of - people will remember us for who we were and how we made them feel; not what we accomplished…

3.   It is fine to be imperfect and ‘real’: In the corporate world, we are also told that to be successful as a leader –we must be perfect & hide our vulnerabilities. So, while over the years we learn not to get overwhelmed by situations & become more composed but there are days when the vulnerabilities show. And that is not a crime; it makes you real as a leader. For me, acknowledging mistakes, asking for help, accepting imperfections shows courage & yields far more results as a leader than portraying a perfect facade. Leading is being the best version of ourselves in moments that matter and that means being ‘authentic’ more than anything else. Who we are is how we lead. But this also needs a reflection on our own value system. When I take over teams; I communicate the values that are important to me and that I will relentlessly drive & equally what I won't tolerate as well as how I work/ operate. And then most importantly, I try to consistently demonstrate these in my leadership actions. And sometimes I may falter and be corrected – and that again is fine.

Read this somewhere and it has stayed with me over the years: “There are three stages of a leader’s career : first you are known for what you can do, second, you are known for what you know and third, people want to follow you for who you are.”

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4.   Building a personal brand is important and so is networking: I was the person who believed that I only need to work hard & my work should speak for itself. The truth is that our work will speak for us, but we have to speak for ourselves & our work too!  In this age of relentless change; large teams & span of controls; intensified competition & shorter attention spans –our leaders may not always be able to keep up with our exact contributions & the value we are creating in our role. Let’s face it; life isn’t fair and we may even have a manager who is not personally invested in our success. We need to commit to taking personal responsibility for our career success (while hopefully being aided by others). So when the opportunity presents itself; we shouldn’t be of promoting ourselves & showcasing our contributions – not in a blatant, 'bragging’ kind of way but ‘communicating’ them in a professional manner that builds our brand. On a related note; I learned the power of networking very late in life. Networking takes effort; we need to take out time for it and for those of us who are introverts, it is an even bigger challenge. Like I read somewhere networks create access which in turn can increase opportunities. Networking isn’t a substitute for what you know; it doesn’t undermine the importance of talent & competence; but having the right network to leverage does significantly increase our probability of success.

Hindsight does make us smarter but hopefully others can learn from our experiences as well. Hope you enjoyed reading it...