Why putting the pieces back together matters

I recently joined a collective of coaches for monthly check-ins (support, venting, brainstorming, etc). The group was co-founded by Becky Mollencamp, a coach I've been following on Instagram for a while. She recently reached out and asked if I'd be open to contributing to her substack, Feminist Founders, about her my journey through feminism. Obviously I said yes (I was a journalism major at several different points during my college experience but my indecision to be boxed into one industry is another story).?

Can I tell you a secret about the experience??

It was a lot fucking harder than I thought it was going to be! I had lived the experience of becoming (and still so) a feminist, but I hadn't ever told the story. Saying yes to writing that guest post meant that I had to go back and revisit parts of my own journey that I hadn't really thought about in a long time. It also meant attempting to make sense of the seemingly disjointed pieces of my story. It was like putting together a puzzle--I had to start at the edges of what I could put language to and then work my way inward. ??

Sometimes, telling your story can feel impossible; but can I tell you another secret?

Every time you tell your story and make sense of the mixed-up pieces, you grow a little. You expand your growth edges and the picture of your life gets a little more beautiful as you connect with yourself in an entirely new way and connect with others in a deeper, more intimate way. Once I had figured out how to make sense of my story, my puzzle got a little bit bigger as new insights filled it in and new connections began to happen.?

As I contended with the parts of my story I had long forgotten, I was able to revisit old memories with a new perspective.?

So often we try to forget the parts of our story that are uncomfortable or painful. And, sometimes, that's what we need to survive. But once we've pushed past survival, the only way to flourish is to go back, not as the person you used to be, but as the person you are now, so that you can continue to become the person you want to be.?

And isn't that the goal: to become the person you ultimately want to be? No more forgetting who you are and what you've survived; it's time for you to flourish, my friend.

Check out my story on the Feminist Founders blog here, then give my friend, Becky, a follow on all social media platforms you're active on and consider joining her membership community on Substack.