Why Prospecting for New Clients Feels Like Having an Illicit Affair

Let me come right to the point: most small marketing, writing and design business owners cheat on their clients.

It’s not that we enjoy infidelity. Quite the contrary. We are loyal to our clients. We hold most of them in high esteem. Some even become friends.

But the thing is, if we want to run successful freelance marketing and design consultancies (and we do), we have to have more than one client. We want to stay in the game, and there is safety in numbers. We can’t have a monogamous relationship because it’s just too risky. So to remain economically viable, we have to step out.?

We spend our days professing our undying commitment to our current clients, all the while surreptitiously seeking out serious relationships with others.

We scour LinkedIn profiles and websites for the vital information that we can use to turn a head. We spend our evenings scrolling through databases and making lists of “ideal” candidates with which to have professional dating conversations, what is our own professional version of swipe left, swipe right.?

From Across a Crowded Room

With list at the ready, we reach out with a damp and nervous palm, in an email or phone call. Our hearts pounding, we press send or make the dial, giving prospects the business equivalent of a “come hither” look.?

Our end-game is clear: we are hoping to start an emotional affair. The kind of relationship where both are pleased with the final work product. The kind of union that breeds more creative work, happiness with our ingenuity, and, yes, more paychecks.?

One day, someone turns and notices us. Contact is made.?

We agree to an intriguing rendezvous IRL. Let’s be honest, when we are able to set up such a clandestine meeting, we are thrilled at what the afternoon of philandering portends. Will they play hard to get, or shower us with love in the form of a professional vow – a signed long-term engagement? Will they tell us our portfolios look nice? Compliment us on our brilliant writing or design? What will they say? How will we respond??

The possibilities are endless, and we find ourselves daydreaming about who they really are, how much work they really have and how the meeting will go. All the while, we are longing for a professional match. Anticipating the opportunity to spend long, lazy afternoons together debating the merits of direct mail over paid search.

The Wooing Begins

In that first tentative meeting at the restaurant, we pray for chemistry. We hope for a collegial spark that lets both of us know there is something special here. (Think Phil Collins:?I Can Feel It?Coming in the Air Tonight).?

Will they engage us for a week-long project before dumping us, or become a years-long loyal partner? We put our best foot forward, and the dance begins.

After the meeting, we rush back to our offices just in the nick of time to jump on a Zoom call with a current client, hoping they don’t notice that we are a little breathless and our hair a little wind-blown.

We do all of this for professional satisfaction and to grow our businesses, to be sure. But we also do this for money. The sweet, filthy lucre that will pay our mortgages and send our children to college. We are okay with that.?

We talk about our multiple secret relationships with only a few trusted advisors: perhaps our significant other, definitely our lawyers and accountants. Our CPAs never disclose, never tell. They are one of the few people who keep our prospecting secrets close to the vest.

This past February, I did a prospect mailing for Valentine’s Day; it involved heart-shaped candy. As the postal clerk processed all of the different boxes of chocolate addressed to different people, did she silently judged my intentions? Was that disgust I saw in her eye, or was she just coveting a small piece of chocolate for herself? When I bring these kinds of mailings in, she never says a word—and neither do I. We are both discreet.?

The Beating of Our Hearts

I think we all know that, while it doesn’t rise to the level of a country western song, we?are?two-timing our current clients. We know it and accept it.

But here’s something to keep in mind. The best of us, the most professional of us, practice discretion. We don’t sign and tell either. We are respectful of our current clients’ feelings and dignity. After all, we want to remain partners; we don’t want to invite divorce.

Yes, prospecting for new clients does feel like being married while looking for our next relationship. But for all of you out there who hire us, please know that we come to you with the best of intentions. We mean no harm, emotional or otherwise. We want to help you. Support you. Uphold you and your organization in the world.?

Like you, we are just trying to make a living. So be gentle with our hearts.?

We will do the same.?

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If you are a healthcare organization looking for help with strategic marketing initiatives and content, connect with me.?

Ilise Benun

LuJean Smith

Loren Nix Farquhar

Meredyth Jensen

Michelle Garrett

Carmen Hill

Michelle Dupler

#Affair #Clientprospecting #Marketing

Photo by Mochammad??Algi