Why professional issues come haunting in personal life?
It is almost a week now for shocking news of Sushant’s suicide. I must say, though I loved his performance in MS Dhoni, I would not call myself his fan as such. Still this news shocked me, literally – mainly because I couldn’t think of any apparent reason for it.
It was only after this incident, through various SM platforms I got to know about Sushant’s personal background – he was a rank holder, an engineer from a premier institute, earned scholarships, had a bucket list of 50 brilliant items, etc. – which clearly indicated his personal achievements! Also, on his chosen professional front he seemed to be doing well. He was just 34, so anyway it was just beginning perhaps!
Then what led to such a drastic step? I know, I’m not the only one thinking about this.
This post is not about contemplating this or making any baseless speculations. But, while I was subconsciously thinking those thoughts, something happened with me too!
During some discussions at work, one person just mentioned something against my work (which was incorrect and baseless), and I got really annoyed. Had it been a normal day (when I was not having those subconscious thoughts I mentioned above), I wouldn’t have felt so offended. After all, having worked in the corporate world for so many years, I very well understand there are those demeaning people out there who would say all sorts of things, and we need to ignore such voices!!
But this time when this happened, I was irritated for quite some time. Almost a day or so. Then slowly when I started to look at my thoughts as a witness, and also the incident happened earlier, I got a feeling that somehow our professional pressures come haunting us in our personal lives. Let me clarify, my thoughts due to that conversation at work were not so extreme, but nonetheless they gave me an insight which I thought I’ll share with you all.
Why do we get so impacted due to our professional circumstances?
Based on my own little experience I mentioned above, I can clearly say that this is due to our attachment to the work we do! I’m so passionate and involved in my work most of the time that I don’t like people making baseless allegations with regards to work. I am very open to constructive feedback, but feel a bit irritated when it becomes finger pointing!
I think the same happens with most people and when many people start criticizing or point fingers at their work, they take it to heart and feel depressed.
What can we do to avoid this then?
Again, I’m neither generalizing nor making any claim that this would be a solution for deep feelings of depression some people have. I empathize with them. However, if those pointers could help anyone, in any possible way, I would be happy!
Here are some of the things I personally find useful when we find ourselves in such situations in our professional life:
1. Spiritual understanding helps. I’m a seeker. And based on whatever spiritual understanding I have, it pulls me out of such thoughts. Have faith!
2. See things objectively.
3. Don’t give undue importance to demeaning people – instead seek support from family and friends! Spend more time with near and dear ones!
4. Remember your career is not absolute (for that matter this whole world is not absolute – but that’s a separate spiritual/philosophical debate, for some other time!!) but just a part of your life. Don’t equate life with career!
5. Last, help others! Yes – helping others, immediately takes your focus away from your own challenges. (This may sound odd, but give it a thought!)
Let me know what you think through comments!
I could give hundred eye catchy titles, but I choose to be "unapologetically" me! (Not interested in meeting or sharing numbers or email or a picture) (am a fractional normal human, rest of the time paranormal)
4 年Very true buddy Sanjog Z. these days it's hard to distinctly demarcate professional and personal life. I always thought being dispassionate about one helps the other. That also got me thinking passion comes with dedication and vice versa. More to do with belongingness we feel towards our profession. I used to get upset over these issues as well till I went on introspection mode. People have different working styles, and everybody including us thinks that's the best way to do. That's based on our conditioning and experiences. So when one criss crosses the other naturally other looks dull. Does that mean the other is wrong or best? No. We just got to grow innately to understand that everybody is right in their own shoes. Some people who don't grow up believe everybody should wear the same shoes as theirs. Now, it's not possible. Can we convince otherwise, no. Because they believe they are right!! With my temper glad I walked out on many instances thinking just like what you said. Job isn't my life afterall instead of wearing somebody else shoes and then trip and fall with face down mostly ??.
President - Real Estate
4 年Good food for thought. I think many people can correlate the experience which you have shared.
RPA Specialist | FinTech | UiPath | Blue Prism #InItToLearn
4 年I believe most of us are going through the same shock of Sushant's demise, and about professional issues, unfortunately, most are either dealing with it or might have gone through it some odd time. Thanks for sharing wonderful tips to deal with such situations. I use the fifth one "Help Others" cause it brings calm to my mind. At times, I use retrospection, it makes me aware of what I was, what I am and what more I can be, to be a better version of Akshita? World would have been a better place to live, if we go by the saying, "In a World, where you can be anything, Be Kind"