Why Pretending to Be ‘Their Type’ Never Works

Stop Trying to Be Their Perfect Match

Here’s the thing about dating: it’s not about becoming someone else’s dream person. It’s about being your real self and finding someone who loves you for it. But for some reason, we’ve convinced ourselves that if we can just be exactly what someone else wants, we’ll finally find “the one.”

Spoiler alert: that’s not love—that’s an act.

Why We Try So Hard to Be ‘Perfect’

1. Fear of Rejection No one likes to be rejected, so we try to mold ourselves into something more “likable.” We think, If I can just be what they want, they’ll choose me. But here’s the truth: rejection isn’t personal—it’s just a mismatch.
2. People-Pleasing Tendencies If you’re a chronic people-pleaser, you might be used to putting other people’s needs above your own. In dating, this looks like pretending to like hiking (even though you hate it) or downplaying your love for reality TV because “What will they think?”
3. Cultural Conditioning We’ve been taught that love is about winning someone over. Movies, books, and social media have drilled into us that we need to earn someone’s affection by being their perfect match.

What Happens When You Try Too Hard

• You Lose Yourself: Pretending to be someone you’re not might get you through a few dates, but eventually, the cracks will show.
• You Feel Exhausted: Constantly trying to perform is draining. Real relationships should feel like a safe space—not a stage.
• You Attract the Wrong People: When you’re not being authentic, you’ll attract people who aren’t aligned with the real you.

How to Stop the Cycle

1. Get Clear on Who You Are Take a step back and ask yourself: What do I love? What do I value? What am I looking for? Knowing yourself is the foundation of authentic dating.
2. Embrace Your Flaws Newsflash: no one is perfect. Instead of hiding the parts of yourself you think aren’t “ideal,” own them. Your quirks and imperfections are what make you unique—and lovable.
3. Let Go of the Outcome You’re not for everyone, and that’s okay. Focus on being yourself and trust that the right person will appreciate you for who you are—not who you’re pretending to be.

Why Authenticity Wins Every Time

Here’s the thing: relationships built on authenticity are the ones that last. When you’re honest about who you are, you create space for real connection—connection that isn’t based on performance or perfection, but on mutual understanding and love.

So, stop trying to be someone else’s perfect match. Be you. The right person isn’t looking for a perfect partner—they’re looking for a real one.

Final Thoughts

If you’re tired of trying to fit into someone else’s idea of perfect, it’s time to shift the focus back to yourself. Authenticity is your superpower in dating, and the moment you lean into who you are, the right person will notice.

Ready to start dating in a way that feels true to you? Book a call with me here or learn more about how I help singles find love at Match Me Canada.

Because here’s the truth: the love you’re looking for starts with loving—and being—yourself.

#AuthenticDating #BeYourself #MatchMeCanada #TorontoSingles #DatingAdvice