Why the premise of women should be treated equal to men is wrong

Dear Men,

Let us be honest (which is difficult for us as men) for a moment. Women aren't equal to us. Forget all your social pressure to treat them equally and answer this question; are women really equal to you? My answer is a big No. Maybe you don't dare to say it. I dare to say it. You think it is very risky to speak it out. You imagine if you say women aren't equal to you, bad things could happen as a repercussion of saying that. If you had this thought that women aren't equal to you but never said it outside, all women and men who work with you don't have a problem with you but the moment you say it, it becomes hard for them and hence they transfer some part of it to you. And you fear that.

I have enough strong evidences in my life and that of people around me to say this. Through the stories I am going to share that women aren't equal to men. So do you, have stories similar to mine, my dear men, have evidence but most of you won't speak up. I am so un-male-ish that I speak it out.

Evidence 1

The stories start with me. I am here today because of a woman. Most obviously, my mother. My mother by virtue of being a woman sacrificed her schooling so that her father could use that money to educate his sons (her own brothers). So did my aunt. They went on to get married, produce babies, cook food everyday, wash clothes everyday and not buy things they wanted to. I vaguely remember hearing a story that my mother sacrificed buying sanitary napkins for herself to keep the men at home happy, that includes me. My mother had dreams, aspirations and goals that she let go. Yet, she is blissful to date.

Now, lets talk about men. I bet any men who lost their dreams, aspirations and goals would panic, create ruckus, cause an imbalance to the environment. The ability to handle dreams being crushed and yet being blissful is not a virtue of men. Men are piss poor at handling emotions and failure. Now, I got to tell you a story. A very close friend of mine has a problem with his brother. His parents couldn't support his dream to study in Australia and this guy for seven years has been at home doing nothing (well, actually eating into his father's saving) causing trouble at home saying how his parents ruined his dreams of studying in Australia. How unfortunate they didn't have a daughter to have set an example to this guy. This guy, oh this guy, being the male he is, he would least learn it from a women.

My mother self taught Bharatanatyam, Painting, Art, Music and Stotras recital. She would have become a doctor if her father could support her education. And she remains blissful. Now, look at where my mother is and where this useless guy is in handling a dream collapse. Should they be treated equally? Seriously? As an entrepreneur myself, and having worked with other men who were entrepreneurs, I know how much we can't handle failure. In that way, a woman pulls up her socks faster and runs better.

BTW, not just my mother, the story is true for a lot of mothers out there.

Evidence 2

This story is about Lions that are labeled wild by their behavior. To conquer a territory, a lonely male lion first fights with another male lion of that territory to shoo that male lion away and then kills the cubs. Only because it thinks that is when the female lionesses will mate with this new male lion to produce cubs. All male lions know, is that it needs to mate, and it doesn't matter at what cost of the lionesses it comes from. The lionesses feel sad about the cubs that were killed and eventually give in to this dominant egoistic male that wants to mate with them and feed on the kill that the lionesses make. There are enough videos on YouTube if you want to watch this but watching the cubs being killed isn't a good thing.

Now, lets come to men and rapes. How different is the above story of male lion to men raping a woman, gang raping and child rapes? I see it no different. By virtue, men do not care a shit. If they want to mate, they want to mate. Sometimes the lion in them comes alive and sometimes they are calm and peaceful, which in most cases they do become calm only after mating. Lions, at least don't mate with the cubs. Some men do. So, that shows the case that men are wilder than the animals we call as wild.

Women have the power to give, men are takers. When women don't give, men take it anyway. You still think men and women should be treated equally?

Evidence 3

I know of many men who think they are married to a beautiful woman. Every woman is beautiful but that is not what I meant in this context. They married a woman with a face that makes them feel good about themselves. Which is OKAY for them. No harm till there. However, I know how insecure they have felt inviting a friend over to home and the wife talking to his friend.

I knew of two friends. They both got married around the same time and did dinners and party together. One of the guy, felt insecure seeing his wife speaking to his friend and decided to cut their friendship, he accused his friend's wife of hitting upon him. This really messed up a lot of relationships. The truth came to light several months after both women went through tough times but this guy got what he wanted. Today he lives a guilt free life. Only men can be like that. Women have more guilt than men. That is why when a rape happens, a woman feels more bad of what happened than a man although none of it was her fault.

Insecurity is not just a man thing. Insecurity is a human thing. The difference is the way men handle insecurity as compared to women. I have seen women who felt insecure about their husbands or something else. They hurt themselves. Men don't hurt themselves, they hurt others when they feel insecure. This is why men get into brawls and fights with strangers and friends in the bar. You tease or scold a woman, she will ignore you and walk off mostly unless they feel the need to hit back but you do it with men, you'd get a stare and a wound to nurse. That isn't showing the strength of a man to fight or an inability of a woman to not fight, that is showing the insecurity of men.

Evidence 4

Among men, in a beautiful country like ours, it is still considered that a man is being weak when he says "I do a lot of work at home like washing clothes or cleaning utensils at home to help my wife". Friends laugh when we admit to doing it. Movies have made fun of a man helping his wife. So, some men actually do this good thing to help their wife but don't dare to say it outside because they hate being made fun of by their other male friends.

The environment in which I was, men did nothing at home for home. They just gave some money without sacrificing their own needs for the woman at home to run the home. After I got married, I too thought everything from getting my bath towel to preparing food is my wife's duty towards me and I did nothing for 4 years. My wife didn't complain a bit. She saw happiness by seeing my happy. What changed me is when my daughter was born. I saw my wife go through the pain of delivery, go through every hard thing to take good care of our daughter. She had the power to give milk and I did nothing but paying for the bills. Not that my wife can't do it. There are enough single mothers out there who work and also take care of their kids. So, at that moment I felt I could be of more use to my wife.

Over the last few years, I give bath to my kid, drop her to school and then go to office while my wife prepares breakfast and lunch for both of us. Also, my wife started a business, so some days when she wants to go out to get some work done, I work from home and bring my kid back from school, feed her, clean her potty, put her to sleep, prepare her evening milk and play with her.

One day I thought I can also learn to cook breakfast and I also did cook breakfast for my wife and kid. That day when I saw them eating the breakfast I cooked, made me understand how my mother and wife would have felt all through their life. I saw it as a beautiful thing that happened to me. I realized the bliss they have had all through their life in giving.

Here is what I think

• Women bring in disproportionate value to this world. Only they can bring peace to men. And men have to acknowledge it. That way a man becomes an equal in behavior to women.
• The very premise of men or women thinking that women should be treated equal to men is wrong. The actual premise of the world is - by the virtue, men have skewed how even woman perceive themselves. Women should come to understand the bliss they offer and continue to offer it. It is men who should then seek being treated equally blissful in this world.
• Women need to understand that they are the only ones born with a natural ability to offer bliss and spread more bliss than trying to teach men who won't learn from them anyway.
• Some women, to deal with men who are hard on women buckle up to act like men. It is a sad state of the world when women are being forced to behave like men. That's like taking somebody naturally good for the world and converting them to bad.
• Not all men are born with this understanding. Neither was I. I didn't see women the way I am seeing them today. It required the bliss of women in my life to help me see it. I felt guilty for the way I was ignorant but then that is when being a man helps, I let go my guilt off saying, "Never late than before".
• Women are those who give more good to this world than they take. So in that parlance, every man is a woman when they learn to give more than what they take. And when that happens every man will find his inner peace and the world will find its balance.
• There is hope though. For men and for women. To be in peace.

Till then, ....

Image credits: https://www.posterwomen.org/Posterwomen/?p=3577