Why Positive Thinking Doesn't Work

Here's what I got wrong about positive thinking:

I used to try to notice my negative thoughts and change them.

They may be thoughts about myself and my shortcomings, or they may be thoughts about other people and my judgments about them. They may be a pessimistic thought about the future or regret-filled thought about the past.

Whatever it was I would try to notice it and reframe it into a positive thought.

For example, there were times a co-worker at my former job would be getting under my skin and I would think to myself, ‘She has no idea what she's doing’. I would take that thought and try to reframe it with something like, ‘Well, we all have different strengths. I like to work fast and she wants to be more methodical.’ ??

This is similar to what Psychology uses today with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) which is the most commonly used form of therapy today for treating anxiety and depression. The psychologist or psychiatrist helps you to identify your maladaptive thoughts and then helps you to reframe them to more useful.

But here is what modern-day Psychology has backwards.

It doesn't make sense to try to change a negative thought into a positive thought.

Because all that you end up doing is just thinking more about your thinking.

By thinking more, you add layers upon layers of thinking to your mind, leading to a busier mind with racing thoughts.

And the more thinking that we do, the farther we get away from our true nature that is always calm, always content, always peaceful.

Our true nature is only available in the present moment. And we cannot be caught up in our thinking and be in the present moment simultaneously; it's one or the other.

So what's the alternative?

What if I told you there's no difference between positive thoughts and negative thoughts?

At the end of the day they are all just thoughts that are inherently neutral.

When we thinking about our thinking, we categorize neutral thoughts to be positive or negative.

Rather than trying to feel better by having positive thoughts, what is much more beneficial is to let go of all thinking, positive and negative, to tune back into that space of being present which is your source of well-being.

You are already well.

You have innate mental health.

And all that we all do is think ourselves away from it.

Deconstructing, analyzing, and trying to improve your thoughts is only going to send you further down the thought rabbit hole.

Feeling content and peaceful, sometimes referred to as the Freedom Space or Flow State, can only be found in the quiet of your mind.

It's the space of inner peace that meditators access during meditation.

But what I love sharing, as I had a big insight about this myself, is that you don't need to meditate to access your meditative state of mind.

It’s funny because I started out as a meditation teacher.

I had been working at my corporate healthcare job for 10 years. After my dad passed away in 2015 I was motivated to spend the rest of my life living on my terms, and I knew that I wanted to create my dream business.

At that time I had been studying meditation for 9 years with local teachers. I was committed to my daily meditation practice where I would wake up each day at 5am to meditate. Afterwards I would feel amazing, calm, happy, and balanced.

But then I would open my eyes.

As soon as I started my day, all of my stress, anxiety, and worry would come rushing back in and fill my head for the rest of the day until my next meditation practice.

I became addicted to meditation in order to feel good.

But then the day came that I had an insight that all that was keeping me from accessing that meditative state of mind throughout the day was simply seeing that it was my thoughts that were distracting me away from it.

Because that meditative state of mind (feeling amazing, calm, happy, peaceful, and balanced) was always there, just behind my busy thinking mind.

I also saw that it was futile trying to think positive, reframe my belief system, and use affirmations to be intentional with my life.

I was just adding more noise to my system when all that I wanted was a quieter, peaceful mind.

If you've met someone who is always trying to be positive they can come across us a bit high strung and anxious as they are doing extra thinking trying to replace their negative thoughts with positive. This is probably how I came across to most people for a large part of my life.

But now I see it's only through accessing the inner quiet of your mind that you are able to tap into your true nature that has no need for positive thinking.

What if your thoughts were all neutral?

What if you could choose which thoughts to focus on and listen to?

How would your life change?

Next week I'll be sharing more about the wildfires that we had burn through our city here in Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada. It's been a hectic couple of weeks!

-Tracey

https://traceygazel.com/