Why perfectionism is over-rated and what you need instead

When I started senior school, a long long time ago, in a distant century, we had a current affairs style lesson once a week. The week we started they taught us about the Cold War. I spent the next eight years seriously worrying about nuclear armageddon. Then along came Mikhail Gorbachev and that changed. Even Frankie Goes to Hollywood singing Two Tribes didn't bother me too much.

How can we be here? How could our leaders, spies, politicians, diplomats, let us get to this position? I can't quite get my head into the right space for writing an irreverent commentary on the this week's current affairs.

But don't worry. I have an alternative plan. I'm going to tell you about my week instead.

It didn't begin well

We arrived home from a little jaunt away to a parking ticket which claimed my resident's parking permit had run out. My husband was about to protest that they had never sent us a reminder that it was about to expire when I did a hasty search through my emails and found exactly that. A timely reminder. In November 2021.

Which also meant that the other ticket we'd received for parking in Shoreditch, which we assumed was either a hoax or a mistake, was actually the genuine article.

Cue a lecture about needing to pay more attention and money not growing on trees.

It got worse

I have never been a stickler for detail. And as you may have observed, my proof reading skills are mediocre at best. (I am actually indebted to Marina, one of your co-readers for pointing out my errors on several occasions. Without her intervention there are times when you truly would not have understood some of my elaborately concocted and badly spelt sentences).

However, there are mistakes and there are mistakes. This week I excelled myself when I managed to send a candidate profile over to the senior partner of a very large law firm, (let's call them Dishman & Degman) telling him how much they wanted the opportunity to work for Sprackett & Tubbs.

I realised my error immediately and quickly googled "how to recall an email that is about to destroy your career" only to be told "there is no way to recall an email, however dangerous it is, if you are working on a Mac. Tough. Take more care next time."

I cried. And began another email entitled "What can I say ...."

There's a pattern here

You know they say things come in threes? I wish. I ran an event on Zoom about how to pivot to relaunch your career, featuring a panel of three of the most amazing, inspirational, honest and down to earth women I've had the pleasure to work with. They were fabulous.

I also promised to record the event and I SWEAR I pressed the record button. Sadly, whether it's tech gremlins or user error, we will never know, but there is no recording there.

We have a Covid-induced Zoom drinks meeting most Thursday evenings with friends who live abroad. This week, I proudly announced that, whereas the boys have been talking about organising a cycling trip that never actually happens, I have taken on the task of organising something for the girls and it's all booked. The words were barely out of my lips (which were, by now, smugly sipping my wine) when my little friend Alex pointed out that the accommodation was actually booked for the week after the flights. Nice.

And as I went online to promote a course I'm running with Noon to help women figure out how to find themselves a job after a career hiatus, it struck me that the snappy title I'd chosen "Couch to Career in 5 Weeks" could just potentially be a little bit offensive.

I honestly do not work on the assumption that anyone not in paid employment is sitting around watching Loose Women all day but I had a hunch someone might not see it that way. Sure enough, one commentator said something like:

"Lisa, with all due respect, if you're explaining you're already losing. It might sound like a clever name but I suggest a rethink."

Ouch.

With all due respect

Can we linger on that one for a minute. When someone says "with all due respect" what do you hear?

I hear something like "I have no respect for you and you certainly don't deserve it." It's like in an argument when someone says "Yes but ..." What they actually mean is "No."

And Yet

I'm still here. My lovely client is the perfect gentleman, he saw the funny side and responded to my "What can I say ... " email telling me he'd made similar mistakes himself. It happens.

I couldn't recreate the fabulous event but I managed to make up for it by writing an article "How to Pivot to Relaunch your Legal Career" which at least draws out the salient points.

I rescued the cycling holiday and we now really are sorted and it really is happening. And whilst I can't change the name of the course, I reckon that the content is actually a lot more important than the label and so I'll be focusing my efforts on that. If you're interested, there is a free taster event on Tuesday at noon .

Finally, whilst I may occasionally mess up a minor detail when trying to secure a candidate a job, we must be doing something right because people keep referring their friends to us.

If You Can't Be Perfect ... What I've learnt

We're all busy people, we all make mistakes. Very few of us have the luxury of the time (or the inclination frankly) to fret over the dotting and crossing of the proverbial "I"s and "T"s. Instead, here's what I've learnt:

If your heart's in the right place people will go with you

I think the current term is "Purpose". Lots of organisations, big and small, seem to spend a lot of time talking about their "purpose". In a work context, my purpose is to help women fulfil their career potential. I try really hard and I think people recognise that and so will forgive the odd, unintentional blunder.

Consistency goes a long way

Meaning your actions have to be consistent with your words. When we hired into our team, we looked for people who had taken career breaks and who felt they were working below their potential. If you're going to say "people are our greatest asset, you'd better treat them that way."

And if you're going to put women, ethnic minorities and/or people with a disability on the front of your website you'd better make sure you've got some of them in leadership positions.

Build your support team wisely

When you do get it wrong, you need someone to call who will tell you it's OK. Someone who can see the minor infraction or misdemeanour for what it is and who will jolly you along to face another day. (You all know who you are .. thank you).

Get some perspective - don't take yourself too seriously

Life really does go on. I know this because this weekend I visited my god-daughter. She was a new born baby when I first took on this role - obviously - and now here she is a new mum herself.

If all else fails, buy something red. Shoes are always a good option. You can never have enough red shoes.

Sadly, none of this advice worked with the parking fines.

And it would now appear that I do need to start worrying about a nuclear war again.

I'm reading: The Lincoln Highway by Amor Towles I know I've said this before but I haven't finished it so that is what I'm reading (see point above about consistency). Female characters few and far between but it's a bit like Steinbeck taking himself not quite so seriously. I'm totally loving it and would HIGHLY recommend.

I listened to: This weekend I sort of did a road trip of my own, driving up to Manchester to see my daughter before she and I then drove across the pennines on Sunday to visit my god-daughter who has just had a BABY!!! 5 days old. She made me listen to the latest episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with Joanne McNally and Vogue Williams. They talk about the situation in Ukraine and the threat of Putin invading Ireland. In the circumstances it's very funny. Even though we all know it's not funny at all.

I watched: Nothing. Tried Reinventing Anna but couldn't get into it. Tried the Responder, ditto. I did, of course, watch the Apprentice as it's now the only thing that my son and I seem to have in common. Except Wordle. We have become extremely competitive about Wordle. This situation needs to be rectified soon as he has set me a challenging programme on Zwift in preparation for the Cycling trip that is now really happening.