Why Perfectionism is the Enemy of Progress: A Personal Story

I was in shock during my final semester of college when I got my grade back. An F? How was that possible? I worked day and night; it was superb writing.

When Professor Paulson gave us our final assignment to write a paper on the state of our political system and the philosophy of government, I decided to write the best paper ever written—the most thought-provoking dissertation he had ever received.

It would be perfect.

However, six weeks later, my grade in big red letters read “F-”.

"Terrific paper, well thought out… BUT three days late.”

I believe in working hard, striving to be the best, practicing, failing, and rising up again, but perfectionism is another matter.

According to Brené Brown:

“Shame is the birthplace of perfectionism. Perfectionism is not striving to be our best or working toward excellence. Healthy striving is internally driven; perfectionism is externally driven by a simple but potentially all-consuming question… ‘What will people think?’

It may seem counterintuitive, but one of the biggest barriers to working towards mastery is perfectionism. Perfectionism kills curiosity by telling us that we have to know everything or we risk looking less than. Perfectionism tells us that our mistakes and failures are personal defects, so we either avoid trying new things or we barely recover every time we inevitably fall short.”

OUCH!

The perfectionist demon snuck up on me again when I became a new manager. I figured I had a big title now; I better show my salespeople how wicked smart I am. But that backfired too!

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Signs that perfectionism is getting in the way:

• You never feel satisfied or happy with your work.
• You feel attached to your identity as a perfectionist, so you feel threatened when work isn’t “perfect.”
• You constantly compare rather than sharing the joys of life with others.
• You often procrastinate tasks, even small ones.
• You feel paralyzed by the choices and decisions you have to make in your work.
• You secretly (or not so secretly) believe “perfect” is the right answer—and are bothered by others’ willingness to compromise.
• You struggle to articulate your expectations but often feel you or others fall short.

Nothing’s better than perfect, right? Unfortunately, by definition, nothing is more unattainable, either. When people begin something new, we are often too hungry for immediate results. Real transformation usually happens through evolution, not revolution, by choosing persistence over perfection.