Why People Run Away (or at least why I did)

Six months ago I made the hop skip and jump across the pond, uprooting my life from the states to London. The reaction to news of my move, while met with a gamut of responses, all included the same question "why?"

The funniest part is, I had never even asked myself that once. Instead, it's counterpart, "why not?" echoed in my mind. There was no clear answer to the repeating "why not", hence my new flat in East London and my recent addition of British slang terms to my vernacular.

Since I've landed, I've turned to a new pursuit: to answer the "why" question. Why do people move away? Why are some more prone to the need for change, exploration, and zest for "new" (cringely coined as wanderlust) than others? My best attempt at an answer is below, in 3 parts.

We'll start with the more obvious first:

1. To Distract

Moving, especially to a new country and new continent at that, comes with a litany of distractions. Some wildly laborious: packing clothes, unpacking clothes, selling old furniture (negotiating bidding wars on Facebook market place), applying for a new bank account, travel logistics and paperwork (don't even get me started on the Pet Passport), setting up wifi, memorizing a maze of new train lines...I could keep going but you get it. Others, far more enjoyable: apartment hunting, decorating your new place, remembering names of new colleagues and friends, finding your favourite pub - but all equally mentally (and often physically) demanding.

You only have room to think about so much, and while my brain was busy trying to convert dollars to pounds and Celsius to Fahrenheit, a lot of passing thoughts fell to the wayside.

While "distraction" can often carry a negative connotation, it doesn't always have to. Some events and healing just take time, and healthy distractions in the meanwhile can serve the perfect medicine.

2. To Grow Through Challenge

Being the "newbie" is never easy. Not understanding the reference that has everyone else in the room in stiches, being embarrassed to admit to your boss that you missed your tube stop and have unintentionally added 20 minutes to your commute, ordering a large iced coffee and trying to keep a straight face as the tiniest cup you have ever seen is handed to you, it's all an adjustment. But coming from someone who, transparently, has rarely felt "othered" or like I didn't belong - this practice was needed. It's good to not always feel in the know. It puts A LOT into perspective.

They say growth begins at the end of your comfort zone - eye roll, groan, I know. But they're right.

When everything you have known is suddenly gone; your routine, your everyday comforts, your community, all you're left with, well, is you. And suddenly, you start to discover what is innately YOU and what is, or was, your environment. You'll experience longing for some life staples that you'll find ways to replicate, and simultaneously you'll leave a lot behind.

It's easy to slip into thinking you're the "main character" of life. That your story is the most important, that people are paying attention to you, that other's perception of you matters. When you are in a place where everyone knows your name, you're established in your company, and have social currency in your network, this becomes even stickier. But when your surroundings are suddenly altered and now you hear on average 8-10 other languages a day, your world view is instantly shattered. You remember how big everything is. How many people there are, and how seemingly insignificant you and your daily choices are. While this may sound pessimistic, in a way, it's entirely freeing. That age old credo, "live life like no one is watching" holds some merit, because at the end of the day, no one really is.

3. To Learn Through Discovery

What are the odds that your favourite food is available in the town you were born in? Are you comfortable going your whole life without ever tasting it?

Well, I suppose if you stay where you are, there is a 100% chance your favourite restaurant/coffee shop/park are all there - because you'll never know anything else. There's no relative comparison, because there's never new data introduced. Some people are fine living this way, in fact I envy these people to an extent. The quest for "new, different, or other" can be exhausting, because it never truly ends.

Unfortunately, I'm not one of those people. Exposure to "new" is exhilarating and to put plainly, life-changing. I've discovered new artists, places, and perspectives I now couldn't imagine my story without.

This isn't all to say, the only answer is to pack a suitcase and move somewhere you don't know a soul. There's a sense of loss in a decision that drastic. But what I will say, is I haven't wondered if this was the right choice nearly as much as I predicted I would - in fact, I'm not even sure I've pondered that once. So if you're considering a more dramatic leap - do it. Now.

Changing cities, roles, careers, isn't the only way to infuse "new." Drive an alternative route home, try a different coffee shop, read a new author, discover a new musician - you never know what you're about to find.