Why People-Pleasing Doesn’t Work (and How Being In-Powered Changes Everything)

We’ve all done it. Whether it’s saying “yes” when we want to say “no,” going out of our way to avoid conflict, or seeking constant approval, people-pleasing is something many of us fall into. But here’s the truth: people-pleasing doesn’t work.

Why? Because the more you bend yourself to meet others' expectations, the further you disconnect from your true self. It becomes a vicious cycle where external validation replaces your internal sense of worth. But when you’re In-Powered, that entire dynamic shifts.

What Is People-Pleasing Really About?

At its core, people-pleasing is driven by a fear of rejection, judgment, or disapproval. We become so concerned with how others perceive us that we end up sacrificing our own needs, desires, and boundaries to make others happy. It feels easier in the short term—avoiding conflict, gaining approval—but it leads to a longer-term consequence: a loss of self.

The more we seek external validation, the more dependent we become on it. And that’s where the problem lies. People-pleasing disconnects us from the very thing that should drive our decisions—our own inner power.

The In-Powered Approach

When you're In-Powered, everything changes. Being In-Powered means that your confidence, self-worth, and happiness come from within. You stop relying on the approval of others to feel good about yourself. Instead, you cultivate a deep, unwavering sense of self-assurance that’s rooted in your values, desires, and strengths.

You no longer need to please others to feel accepted, because you accept yourself. And that acceptance is the foundation for true confidence.

Why People-Pleasing Fails

1. It’s Unsustainable Trying to please everyone is exhausting. Eventually, you’ll reach a breaking point because it’s impossible to meet everyone’s expectations all the time. You’re setting yourself up for burnout, resentment, and frustration.
2. It Breeds Resentment When you consistently put others’ needs ahead of your own, you can begin to feel taken advantage of or unappreciated. This leads to resentment, not just toward others, but toward yourself for not standing up for your own needs.
3. It Weakens Your Authenticity The more you conform to what others want, the more you lose touch with who you really are. Over time, you may even forget what you want, or feel disconnected from your true desires, goals, and purpose.
4. It Delays Your Own Growth Constantly seeking approval stunts personal growth. Instead of pursuing what aligns with your values and ambitions, you get stuck trying to fit into molds designed by others. When you're always focused on others' needs, there's little room for your own development.

How Being In-Powered Liberates You

When you’re In-Powered, you understand that true fulfilment comes from living authentically, aligned with your inner values and beliefs—not from the validation of others. This shift from external validation to internal self-assurance is where your real power lies.

1. You Set Clear Boundaries When you're In-Powered, you understand the value of boundaries. You know how to say “no” without guilt, recognising that protecting your time, energy, and well-being is essential.
2. You Prioritise What Matters to You Instead of bending to others’ needs, you focus on what truly matters to you. This clarity allows you to take action that aligns with your values and goals, bringing more fulfilment into your life.
3. You Build Unshakable Confidence Confidence doesn’t come from others; it comes from knowing who you are and what you stand for. As you become In-Powered, your confidence grows stronger because it’s rooted in authenticity, not external praise.
4. You Create Meaningful Relationships In-Powered women attract relationships based on mutual respect and authenticity. When you no longer feel the need to please others, you engage with people on a deeper level, fostering connections that are real, not based on pretence or expectations.

How to Stop People-Pleasing and Become In-Powered

If you’re ready to break free from people-pleasing and step into a more authentic, confident version of yourself, here is the best way: https://bit.ly/TCLearnMore