Why people fail in achieving their "goals"

Have you heard M People's "Search for the Hero". It was always my goto motivation anthem but as I reflect it has a much deeper meaning (and also why we sometimes don't achieve our goals.).

Goals need to be aligned with us in so many ways; emotionally, mentally, capability, values and when they aren't we risk self sabotaging ourselves.

https://youtu.be/ntuqTuc6HxM?si=Min2mwhn32mKTZdP

M People’s “Search for the Hero” can be interpreted on both superficial and deeper levels, as the lyrics convey a message about perseverance, self-discovery, and finding inner strength.

Superficial Meaning:

On the surface, “Search for the Hero” is a motivational anthem about overcoming life's challenges. The song suggests that when times get tough, you need to look within yourself for strength and courage. It encourages listeners to "search for the hero inside themselves," indicating that everyone has the capacity to rise above obstacles and be their own hero. It’s an optimistic, feel-good message of resilience, urging people to keep pushing forward no matter what challenges they face.

Deeper Meaning:

Any deep goal will require you to address your demons and to really know yourself - to really find the hero inside you.

Beneath this uplifting message lies a more profound theme about self-realization and inner growth. The "hero" in the song represents not just courage in difficult times, but also a deeper sense of personal empowerment and authenticity. It speaks to the idea that the solutions to our struggles and the path to fulfillment lie within us, rather than outside in external sources.

The deeper meaning revolves around self-discovery—acknowledging that while external forces may shape us, true change and resolution come from within. It's about understanding that we all possess the tools and qualities we need to face life's challenges, but often, we must undertake a personal journey to find them. This inner journey is not just about strength or bravery but also about finding purpose, meaning, and accepting who we are.

Thus, “Search for the Hero” serves as a call for personal reflection, urging individuals to realize their potential and trust in their ability to navigate life's difficulties by drawing upon their own inner resources.

Why we don't achieve our "Goals"?

Before we can truly achieve what we thinker our goals, we often have to resolve the underlying issues or problems be it misaligned goals, self limiting beliefs or personal issues.

Failure to achieve goals is commonly attributed to a lack of desire or motivation, but this perspective overlooks several deeper and more complex factors. While motivation is indeed a critical component, it is rarely the sole reason for failure.

Achieving your goals requires more than just a burning desire. It requires clarity, planning, emotional resilience, and the ability to challenge the beliefs and thought patterns that hold you back.

Failure to achieve goals is often attributed to a lack of desire, but the reality is more nuanced. While motivation is important, many deeper factors influence our ability to meet our objectives. As in Muhammad Ali’s red bike moment, where chance, opportunity, and readiness for change steered his path, our own journeys often depend on more than just wanting success. It's about understanding our true needs, motivations, and setting goals that align with them.

1. Misaligned Goals

We often chase goals that aren’t truly ours. These may be influenced by external pressures—society, family, or the environment in which we live. Without being in alignment with our deeper values and sense of purpose, even with the desire to succeed, the pursuit feels empty or forced. Intrinsic motivation—the internal drive that comes from doing something because it fulfills us emotionally or provides a sense of meaning—plays a key role here. When your goals resonate with your values, they become far easier to pursue and achieve. Much like Ali's chance encounter with a purpose after his bike was stolen, discovering what truly drives you can align your goals with your inner needs, creating a path that feels not just doable but satisfying.

2. Self-Limiting Beliefs

Imagine trying to box with your hands tied—self-limiting beliefs are just as restricting. These are the mental barriers we build over time, rooted in past failures, traumas, or negative feedback. When we hold the belief that we’re not good enough or that certain achievements aren’t meant for us, no amount of motivation can help. To break these chains, it’s essential to understand how intrinsic motivation, our deep-seated need for emotional fulfillment, works as a counterforce to these beliefs. When you set goals aligned with who you are and what you value, these internal barriers are weakened because your pursuit isn’t just about success—it’s about meeting core needs like self-worth, purpose, and emotional satisfaction.

3. Unresolved Trauma and Emotional Barriers

Trauma and emotional wounds can prevent us from achieving our goals, just as unresolved feelings can keep us stuck. Intrinsic motivation is a powerful force here, as it stems from deep inner needs such as emotional healing, self-worth, and connection. When we pursue goals that satisfy these needs, it becomes easier to overcome emotional barriers. For instance, goals tied to emotional well-being or self-expression, rather than external validation, are more likely to bring a sense of fulfillment and long-lasting motivation. In Muhammad Ali’s case, finding purpose through boxing gave him not only a career but a sense of healing, control, and self-expression that transcended any initial setback.

4. Cognitive Distortions

Our minds often play tricks on us, convincing us that failure is inevitable or that perfection is the only acceptable outcome. Intrinsic motivation helps here because it shifts the focus from external rewards (such as money or recognition) to internal satisfaction. When you’re pursuing a goal for the joy it brings or because it fulfills a deeper need (e.g., a sense of mastery, creativity, or contribution), these cognitive distortions lose their power. You become less concerned with perfect results and more focused on the process, which is inherently satisfying.

5. Lack of Strategy and Structure

Desire alone is not enough to achieve success. Often, we fail not because we don’t want to succeed but because we lack the structure and planning needed. Here, understanding your intrinsic motivation and priorities can clarify your path. When you know why a goal is important to you on a deeper level—because it fulfills an emotional need, gives you a sense of purpose, or aligns with your values—it becomes easier to map out a clear, actionable plan. You’re less likely to feel overwhelmed or directionless because your goals are connected to something much more meaningful than external success.

6. Perfectionism and Burnout

Perfectionism can stop you in your tracks, making every action feel daunting. But when your motivation comes from within, perfection becomes less important. Intrinsic motivation allows you to focus on what truly matters: fulfilling a sense of purpose, personal growth, or emotional well-being. This perspective reduces the pressure to be perfect, as you’re not driven solely by external measures of success. Instead, the journey itself becomes the reward, and this helps prevent burnout. You’re sustained not by how others view your progress, but by how aligned you feel with your deeper needs and values.

7. Time Management and Focus

When goals are aligned with intrinsic motivations—those that meet your emotional needs, sense of purpose, or need for fulfillment—distractions and procrastination have less pull. If you are passionate about something because it resonates deeply with who you are, staying focused becomes easier. Time management naturally improves when your goals are clear and tied to what really matters to you. Knowing your priorities allows you to allocate time and energy toward the things that truly fulfill you, making the achievement of your goals not just a possibility but a joyful pursuit.

8. External Challenges

Life’s unpredictability can throw even the most motivated person off course. However, when you understand your intrinsic motivations, you’re better equipped to handle these challenges. Goals tied to your inner sense of purpose give you resilience because they are about more than just success—they are about becoming the person you want to be. When setbacks occur, your commitment to personal growth and emotional fulfillment helps you persevere. You adapt and pivot not because you feel you have to, but because you want to, knowing that every step is part of a greater, more meaningful journey.

9. Mindset: Fixed vs. Growth

A growth mindset allows you to see challenges as opportunities for development, not threats. Intrinsic motivation fuels this growth mindset because it is about personal fulfillment and self-improvement. When you’re driven by a desire to meet your own emotional and psychological needs—such as the need for mastery, autonomy, or a sense of purpose—you’re more likely to embrace challenges. You understand that failure is part of the process, not the end. In contrast, a fixed mindset, often driven by fear of external judgment, can make even small setbacks feel catastrophic.

The Role of Intrinsic Motivation and Knowing Your Priorities

Intrinsic motivation is fundamental to success because it speaks to the underlying needs we have as human beings. When you set goals that align with your emotional needs—whether it’s the need for self-expression, a sense of purpose, or personal growth—you’re far more likely to stay committed, even when the going gets tough. Extrinsic goals, like money or fame, may provide temporary motivation, but they often fall short when things become difficult because they don’t meet these deeper, intrinsic needs.

By understanding what truly drives you and knowing your priorities, you can set more meaningful goals. When your goals are rooted in what you value most—be it emotional well-being, creativity, contribution, or personal growth—achieving them becomes less about external validation and more about fulfilling your inner needs. This clarity allows you to focus your energy where it matters most, helping you to not only set achievable goals but to approach them with a sense of purpose that makes success feel both inevitable and rewarding.

The key to setting and achieving goals lies in understanding yourself deeply. Once you know your priorities—what truly matters to you—everything else falls into place. You’ll find that your intrinsic motivation becomes the fuel that keeps you moving forward, and your goals are no longer just a means to an end, but a reflection of who you are and who you are becoming.

Why Manifestations do/don't work?

The idea of "manifestations" refers to the belief that thinking positively and visualising what you want can help you achieve your goals or attract those desires into your life. This concept has gained popularity through books like The Secretand the "law of attraction." However, whether manifestations work or don't work depends on how they are approached and understood.

Why Manifestations Don’t Work:

1. Lack of Action
2. Unrealistic Expectations
3. Overlooking Subconscious Beliefs
4. Ignoring Reality and Practicality

Why Manifestations Can Work:

1. Focus and Clarity
2. Positive Mindset
3. Law of Attention and Opportunity
4. Reprogramming Your Subconscious
5. Boosting Motivation and Persistence

Manifestation works best when combined with concrete actions, self-awareness, and practical steps toward achieving your goals. When misunderstood as a quick fix or magic solution, it often fails because it lacks the substance of real-world effort and planning. The balance lies in using manifestation as a tool for mindset, focus, and persistence, while also addressing internal beliefs and taking tangible steps toward success.

So what is really holding you back from achieving your dreams?