Why people don't get back to You ?

As a Communication Coach, I talk to so many people who enquire about my coaching program with a view to becoming my coachees. After a prolonged interview, which is mandatory since I do one on one coaching, some enroll immediately as they are determined to take action while most give me the classic reply “I’ll get back to You “and then they never do!!!

Few things are more exasperating than being left in the dark, uncertain of the outcome or #resolution of this interaction. From wondering if the person is genuinely so busy that he/ she cannot find time to spare a thought or is giving me a polite message that he/she is not interested and I should figure this out by myself from the silence at the other end!

While researching on this topic I came across a study by Nick Imparato, Professor at University of??San Francisco, cited in an article by Pete Delisi – former Academic Dean at Santa Clara University. ?In this study conducted by Nick, individuals from various countries worldwide were asked to rank a lengthy list of #values . Surprisingly, regardless of their country or ethnicity, two values consistently ranked at the top – #trust and #honesty . When the participants were questioned about the factors that violated their trust, the study revealed an unexpected finding: the phrase "I'll get back to you" was identified as the most severe violation. This discovery raises the question: why does this seemingly innocuous remark carry such a significant impact for the respondents? While multiple explanations could exist, the essence of the matter lies in the global recognition of the remark's evident insincerity. Comparable to the notorious phrase "The check is in the mail," it serves as a signal for actions that are destined to remain unfulfilled. If we cannot rely on someone in trivial matters like these, how can we trust them in more substantial affairs?

Reasons for Not Getting Back

It's important to note that not responding instead of saying no directly, can be seen as inconsiderate or disrespectful, as it leaves the other person uncertain and potentially waiting for a response. Open and #honest #communication is generally more constructive and respectful in such situations.

The point is I would like to know for sure and complete the communication, rather than shoot arrows in the dark. This got me thinking on why people don’t really get back to You??

1.??????Lack of Time or Busy Schedule

While it is true that people can be genuinely occupied at times, it is important to acknowledge that in today's world, communication channels are swift and easily accessible, making it convenient to express the need for time. From my perspective, the issue lies less in the mode of communication and more in the underlying intention behind it.

?2.??????Fear of Confrontation and Unpleasantness

Especially if your message is an unfavorable one!?You anticipate that the other person will argue and counter your contention and you just don’t want to get into that. ?You don’t want to cause unpleasantness by rejecting the offer and hope that your silence will do the work. Most people have a problem saying “No” and wonder if their #assertion will be taken for #aggression .

3.??????Lack of Consideration for Others

I believe the strongest reason is that people genuinely lack consideration for other people and focus only on their needs being met. In the fiercely competitive environment around us, we don’t have time to spare to extend these small, common but very crucial #courtesies to one another.

The Importance of #Consideration in Communication

Consideration is one of the mainstays of communication. what does it mean? In the broader sense it means acknowledging the existence of another as an #equal . Specifically, it means according the person the basic courtesy of being #polite, #respectful and #complete in your communication.

The Impact of Unfulfilled #commitments

The statement I’ll get back to you is often used as an escape from situations where one is not ready to commit. In all fairness, one should deliberate and think things through, and no sane person will deny you that right. It is the lack of commitment to convey the conclusion that actually hurts people and the subconscious mind senses that. ?The other person feels disrespected and is less likely to trust and respect the other person in return. This causes a break in relationships and lack of collaboration. ?

Importance of Being True to Your Word `

I wish to take it a little deeper and assert the value of “Be My word”.?When you say - I will get back to you; it is a commitment you make and the onus of fulfilling it is definitely on you. When you fail to do so, it reflects more on your credibility than that of the other person. Trust and honesty consistently occupy prominent positions in the hierarchy of values across cultures. These fundamental principles are deeply intertwined with my personal #identity and #selfworth . By upholding my word, I affirm my own #selfrespect and #presence , while also recognizing and honoring the same in the other individual.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Thus, credibility and consideration go hand in hand to establish your persona, #authority and #influence over people. Remember, “People pay attention to actions. They hear what you said, but they see how you act. When you walk your talk, People Listen.”

?Final Note

Complete and comprehensive communication is vital for its effectiveness. While it's important to approach situations with empathy, acknowledging that individuals have unique reasons for not responding, we cannot underestimate the significance of timely and clear communication. When messages leave no room for misunderstanding or doubt, they foster satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment for everyone involved.

Would like to know what is your take on this? Do get back !!