Why is our behaviour often so destructive?

Understanding Human Nature: Freud’s Life and Death Drives as a Pathway to Authenticity

“The more we understand our unconscious drives, the more we empower ourselves to make intentional, values-driven choices.” — Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett, psychologist and neuroscientist.

What truly drives us? Are we propelled by our desires to create, connect, and thrive, or is there a darker undercurrent influencing our actions? Sigmund Freud believed that our behaviour is shaped by two fundamental forces: Eros, the life drive that propels us towards growth and connection, and Thanatos, the death drive that steers us towards aggression, self-sabotage, and withdrawal.

These competing instincts are not just abstract concepts; they are forces that impact our decisions, our relationships, and ultimately, our quality of life. By exploring this inner tension, we gain insights that can help us live more honestly and authentically. Read on to discover how understanding Freud’s view of human nature can guide us in making choices aligned with our true values and aspirations.

Life and Death Drives: Freud's Perspective on Human Nature

Freud believed human nature was fundamentally complex, driven by competing instincts. The life drive (Eros) compels us towards growth, connection, creativity, and pleasure, while the death drive (Thanatos) reflects our tendencies towards aggression, destruction, and a return to a state of peace through inaction or even death. These drives create an ongoing internal battle that affects our thoughts, feelings, and actions. In practical terms:

- Eros (Life Drive) manifests in our desires to build relationships, engage in meaningful work, learn, and contribute positively to society. This drive fuels our ambitions, passions, and search for personal fulfilment.

- Thanatos (Death Drive) emerges as self-sabotaging behaviours, moments of withdrawal, aggression, and a resistance to change or growth.

Freud theorised that much of our internal and external conflicts stem from this tension between Eros and Thanatos. Understanding this dichotomy can empower us to make choices that align more closely with our values and aspirations.

Self-Understanding: The First Step Towards Self-Mastery

To live a more values-driven, authentic life, we first need to understand the internal drivers that govern our behaviour. Reflecting on moments when we feel compelled towards life-affirming activities versus those when we’re drawn towards habits that hinder our progress can provide clarity on our motivations and patterns.

- Acknowledge Your Own Contradictions: Life is rarely black and white, and so is human nature. Accepting the presence of contradictory drives within us brings us closer to authentic self-awareness. Instead of suppressing the death drive, recognise it as a natural part of human nature that can inform better choices when understood.

- Observe Your Tendencies: Look for patterns in your behaviour that reflect either life-affirming or self-limiting actions. When faced with a challenging task, do you feel energised to tackle it, or do you find yourself wanting to avoid it? These tendencies often point to which drive is in the driver’s seat at that moment.

- Reframe Self-Sabotaging Behaviours: Rather than viewing actions driven by Thanatos as personal failures, see them as opportunities for growth. With awareness, even our destructive tendencies can teach us about our fears, insecurities, and unmet needs.

Living Authentically: A Values-Driven Approach

Once we understand the life and death drives within us, the next step is to align our actions with our core values. A values-driven life isn’t about achieving perfection but about making consistent, intentional choices that reflect our true selves.

- Define Your Core Values: Take time to identify what truly matters to you, whether it’s integrity, empathy, perseverance, or another value. These values act as a compass when faced with internal conflicts.

- Commit to Life-Affirming Actions: Whenever possible, choose actions that align with Eros and your core values. This might mean investing time in relationships that enrich you, pursuing work that inspires you, or cultivating hobbies that energise you.

- Create Space for Reflection: Just as Freud encouraged exploration of the unconscious mind, set aside regular time for reflection. Whether through journaling, meditation, or a simple end-of-day review, this space for introspection allows you to observe when you might be engaging in self-limiting behaviours and reorient towards your values.

Bringing It All Together: Honesty as the Foundation

Being honest with ourselves about our nature is essential for living authentically. Embracing both Eros and Thanatos allows us to move past idealised versions of ourselves and towards a grounded, compassionate self-awareness. It’s a lifelong journey, but one that brings us closer to understanding our true potential and how to live in a way that’s not only aligned with our aspirations but also deeply respectful of our humanity.

Freud’s insights into the life and death drives highlight the inner complexity of human nature and reveal that to live a fulfilling, values-driven life, we must first understand and embrace our inner contradictions. By acknowledging both Eros and Thanatos within us, we pave the way for authenticity, self-compassion, and ultimately, a deeper alignment with our highest values.

Let Freud’s view of human nature be a starting point, guiding us towards deeper self-understanding and empowering us to lead lives marked by honesty, integrity, and growth.

Thank you for reading. Jason Cannon