Why one simple question can help you make progress when you have the mind full of problems.

Have you ever felt as if you have the weight of the world on your shoulders? That feeling of everything seems too big a problem at the moment and you can't seem to make any progress or work out where to start.

I had this exact conversation with someone the other day. They were feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with work, their non-work life was being impacted by the stress and even global politics was leaving them feeling fed up.?

I suggested we head out for a walk, a chat and a cuppa. I find that just getting out of the environment that’s causing stress and spending time in the fresh air can help break a cycle. There is also never a bad time to have a cuppa, a brew has helped me through a lot of stressful project decisions or problem solving moments.

The person involved ?is someone who is typically in control, projects confidence and on the face of it has a very clear process to help them make decisions. But everyone at some point has self-doubt about the next decision, or so much going on that they can struggle at times. Which makes it hard to make progress and can even paralyse decision making.

While walking and talking what became apparent was that the sheer volume of topics on their worry and to-do list was impacting their ability to make progress. They needed to create the time and space to think, but they also needed to focus on the things they could do something about. Rather than spend energy on areas outside or their control.?

This made me think about the Stephen Covey book, ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’ and his Control, Influence and Concern model.? Where the individual looks at the problems they are trying to address through a different set of lenses. Asking the question:

1. What can I control? - Something you can directly do something about
2. What can I influence? - Something you can influence others to have an impact on now or in the future. But you do not control
3. What is my concern - Something that is neither in your gift to influence or control

The main question

The first step is to ask a fundamental question about the worry list.

"From the list of things I'm worried about, what can I actually control or influence?"

Something may concern you, but can you control or influence the situation? If the answer is no, then you need to find ways to cope with that concern or ideally let it go. A lot of social media channels suffer from people being consumed with rage or worry about things they cannot control. Imagine if that passion and energy was channelled into areas that those individuals could control or influence.?

After the main question, taking action

Once the fundamental question has been answered and there is a list of areas that can be controlled or influenced, this is where taking the time to look for inter-dependencies and then prioritising where to start helps. The simple act of writing down the worry list may help.

Let's look at an example. If I am concerned about my weight, my lack of exercise, my poor food choices and poor sleep patterns, I have a list of things in my control. I also have a list of interdependent areas to work on.?

In this instance my priority would be

1. Sleep - Because it’s the easiest thing for me to control (no young kids at home), it also affects my mood and I make better choices and have more energy when I have slept well.
2. Exercise - I’m more likely to make the decision to exercise if I’m not mentally tired
3. Food - Because I make better choices when I have been training
4. Weight - Because if I’m sleeping better, exercising and eating better the likelihood is I’ll move towards a better weight anyway. My weight is also a symptom, rather a root cause of other areas of concern given I have no medical conditions.?Therefore if I sort out 1-3 my weight will come down.

The main thing is I have made these choices because they are all under my control and they suit my situation. My priority would always be to start on areas I can control.

The first steps are the hardest

The hardest thing is usually taking the first step which is where the written list and prioritisation can help. Then the key step is creating an action plan and holding yourself, or asking others to hold you to account. By then making the action list a series of small, achievable and incremental tasks, The goal is to create an environment that is likely to lead to success and progress against that list of tasks.

Once there are some successful actions in place, the likelihood is the world will start to feel a better and less busy place. Where you feel more in control and confident about the decisions that need to be made and action taken.?

Summary

In sports coaching there is a phenomena called 'Paralysis through analysis' the athlete is so caught up in thoughts about performance or how to perform their skills that they become blocked from doing. The first thing that must happen is to break the paralysis and over thinking. This is a similar situation. Taking steps to change the environment, listing the issues the prioritising areas that are under control can break the cycle and bring back lost confidence.

Sometimes you just need someone to help talk the issues through to break the cycle and help put together some practical next steps.

Have a great rest of the week

Rich

My Performance Coach offers Executive and High Performance Coaching for individuals and teams based on lessons learned from sport and business. If you would like to discuss more about how My Performance Coach could help you or your team, please book a free introduction to coaching meeting. Where we can discuss your challenges in further detail and follow our Newsletter for more content around High Performance.